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The Potter Tradition of Red by Sree/Jolly Rancher - K

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by relas, Dec 10, 2006.

  1. relas

    relas Guest

    Title: The Potter Tradition of Red
    Author: Riku11
    Rating: K
    Genre: Romance
    Pairing: H/G
    Summary: Post OoTP. HG! After the events in the DoM, Harry goes back home and doesn't respond to his friends letters. A letter from Ginny changes all of that, and changes his life for good.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3282368/1/ (DELETED)

    http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/231/1/ (NEW LINK)

    this is my first story and my first post, so I hope you all like it. I submitted the story just today and i think i did a great job on it so far! tell me what you think please!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 9, 2008
  2. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Uhm.. Run boy, run and never return; This won't be received well at all.

    P.S; Btw I didn't like it. Not t say you're a bad writer, just you chose a horrible thing to write about, considering where you wanted to post it. (Here.)
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2006
  3. Cthulu

    Cthulu Unintelligent Bigot

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    You are going to be soooo flamed when the other members read this story...

    This is just a very VERY bad romance fic, doesn't even deserve the trash bin...

    Oh, he forgot to post the summary:
     
  4. Inquisition

    Inquisition Canadian Ambassador to Japan DLP Supporter

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    You're lucky I'm such a nice bloke; I took the time to read your story. The writing's not bad, but the plot and the content? And the "squeee" at the end, like a dying mouse? To post this where you did...

    There's gonna be a lynching here, boy.

    The verdict:
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2006
  5. Jadedmagus

    Jadedmagus Squib

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    Judging by the tone of your post, it sounds like you want positive feedback and/or praise. I don't believe you will find much, if any here for a story like that. Because unless you are posting this as some kind of joke, you are going to get flamed (the joke being that the fic is almost everything the denizens of DLP hate).

    1/5 As at least things seem to spelled right, and none of the grammar made me wince (to busy wincing at the plot).
     
  6. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Genre: Romance Wrong

    Genre: Parody That's better
     
  7. HardcoreHobbit

    HardcoreHobbit Second Year

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    You utter utter idiot. How on earth did you miss the hatred here?

    Not to mention the complete lack of anything resembling a story.


    Are you 12?
    Because it certainly seems like it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2006
  8. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    I skimmed and thought about tearing out my eyes. You are a complete and utter retard for:
    1. Posting such filth here.
    2. Posting such NICEY NICE HERE.
    3. Posting H/Cum loving slut here.
    4. Not noticing that the majority( and majority I mean probably 99.99%, I dont kknow the exact amount) HATE H/cum loving slut here.
    5. Thinking you would get positive reviews and advice here.

    Okay you want a review. Leave shutup and leave never come here again. Because you will be flamed until you are a burnt Turkey.

    Whats the name of this forum? ANYBODY?
     
  9. Tinn Tam

    Tinn Tam Review Goddess Retired Staff

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    No.

    No.

    Just... No.

    1. Writing: common and, to be brutally honest, uninteresting. Nothing grabs the attention. You're lacking in experience; I suggest you should read good fictions/books to understand what a good fiction looks like... Dialogues: rather poor. Character interaction: reduced to the bare minimum. Character's inner monologues and trains of thought: devoid of all logical progression. "I'm mourning my godfather! I'm sad! and suddenly, OMG! Ginny's right, and she's caring and lovely!"

    You need to work on that. Check out the fictions in this library, they can really help you to improve your style. Good luck.

    2. Characterisation: honestly, it's horrible. I'm a sucker for good characterisation, and yours just... NO. Harry isn't a snivelling little bitch kissing Ginny's shoes because she slapped him. Harry has guts, even canon!Harry, for God's sake. Hermione and Ron? Their characterisation is quick and extremely superficial. You got rid of their characters by having Hermione say something about NEWTs and Ron about Quidditch. Not nearly good enough. Ginny? Since when does she confide in Harry ("I'm single!"), since when is she part of his inner circle of friends, since when is she modest? No. Re-read the books, and quick.

    3. Posting this fiction on DLP: worst idea ever. We hate H/G. We loathe Ginny. I can read very good H/G (Thalarian's fic contains H/G, and is considered as an outstanding fiction here); but your fiction only makes me detest Ginny more.

    Please read this if you want to know why. Extracted from the thread 'Character Bashing.'

    All in all: sorry, but... your fiction should not be here. You'll get flamed, and it's very destabilising for a new writer. My review is actually closer to constructive criticism than to a flame...

    You should go to www.ginnypotter.com.

    *bites on her fingers for actually typing that site's name*
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2006
  10. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Guys...try to be at least a little bit polite...lets not make this another Kingsfire...

    Sure, rip his fic to shreds, 'cos it really is very bad (though the actual English is a lot better in technical terms than most fanfics out there), but try not to translate that hatred for bad literature onto an author and make it personal.

    Sure, he likes H/G now (most of us did when we first got into fanfiction), but I'm certain that he can be...educated...
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2006
  11. Randeemy

    Randeemy Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    After the PP3 incident I had a feeling things like this might happen.
     
  12. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    It's his/her own fault for not bothering to read more about the site he/she's posting her crappy fic on. This site is known for hating H/G, and coming here and posting a H/G fic is just a slap in the face. Ban this fucktard.
     
  13. Nexus

    Nexus Denarii Host

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    [​IMG]
    Trash Bin.

    I donot say this because it's a hg fic. I read hg(glances nervously around at the lynch mob), IF it is good enough. One is NOFP and the other is Of Gods and Shadows.

    So I am not hell bent against Ginny pairing but not only does this story use each and every cliche that I have ever come across, it condenses them. Like a cliche package. If the author decides to re-write this and make it into a kind of parody I think it would come out quite funny.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2006
  14. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    For once I agree with Illusive. ITs rare that I agree with him but hell shit happens
     
  15. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    You do know that, although the general attitude to H/G is negative, this site isn't shipper specific and all ships are welcome, provided that its a good story.

    Many members have said that they would read H/G if it were a good story - it's just that there are very few examples of that. We do in fact have a few H/G stories in our library. One such story that comes to mind is Harry Potter and the Nightmare of Futures Past.

    Midknight has said many times not to flame an author or story for their shipping preference - discuss a story on its merits and its faults, but you can't just say "this sucks 'cos its H/G".

    Sure, this story does suck, but it sucks because of its clicheness, its unoriginality, its implausibility, its soppyness...and though you can say that you don't like it because it doesn't match you own shipping preference, you can't say that that makes it a sucky story, as thats just blind prejudice.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2006
  16. Tinn Tam

    Tinn Tam Review Goddess Retired Staff

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    Huh... Taure?

    You know I respect you immensely and never miss an opportunity to bow to your greatness and can't live without seeing your merry "lols" deliciously scattered across my screen like snowflakes on a window, but...
    It isn't as if they hadn't been warned.

    Otherwise, I definitely and completely agree with you. The grammar and spelling are good, and it's easy to see they worked on their story. So, let's be brutally honest if we have to be, but not with the author. With the story.

    EDIT: Oh yeah... "With very few exceptions."

    Well... that's not it. Sorry ;)
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2006
  17. Amadan

    Amadan Second Year

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    Did you even bother to find out what sort of stories the people here like?
     
  18. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    "With very few exceptions." Which means that there are some exceptions, when the story is well written. Compare that to:

    I said that most H/G stories are terrible, but because there are some half-decent H/G stories out there, the exceptions to the rule, you can't just bash a story for it's ship.

    Take for example, a story Rob recommended to me, The Sound of Sorcery. Now, I can say that I personally don't like it because it is H/G and I don't like that pairing (which is what I do say), but from the little of the story that I did read, it would be crazy for anyone to say that it is a bad story: stylistically and grammatically it is of publication quality, and the plot is woven well in style similar to JKR, with good characterization.

    Now, I know that relas' story is nowhere near those standards required, but the same general principle applies: ship alone is not enough of a reason to bash a story and say it is bad, just enough to express personal dislike, which is a different thing entirely.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2006
  19. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    I sort of get the feeling that we are being baited with this story. Unless s/he is in the habit of posting on forums without seeing the type of members it has.

    At any rate, this kind of characterization of Ginny Weasley is extremely unoriginal and simply grating. Partly why a lot of members here now hate this character, she was quite tolerable OoTP and before.

    I have to ask, is it majority consensus of the world that men like to have overbearing girlfriends who berate them and try to control them?

    The progression of the relationship is as subtle as a locomotive and you will need to add some complexity, chapter length, and for the love of all sacred change her character.
     
  20. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    I can stand well written H/G I can stand Harry who is Friends with Ginny examples are Nightmares of Futures Past and In the Company of Secrets But this is beyond bad as a fic and the pairing just adds to it.
     
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