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Oneshot The Torch by Rhetor - T (One Shot)

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Mordac, May 30, 2008.

  1. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Gender:
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    Location:
    Birmingham, England
    Title: The Torch
    Author: Rhetor
    Rating: T
    Genre: General
    DLP Category: General Fics
    Pairing: None (mentions of Ron/Hermione)
    Words: 2,258
    Updated: March 12, 2007

    Status: Complete (One Shot)
    Summary: Hermione Granger goes back to Hogwarts to say goodbye to her old life. What she finds there is unexpected.
    Link: www.phoenixsong.net/fanfiction/story.php?cid=4607

    I know, I know, not Harry-centric. However, since it's just a one-shot, I hope you can overlook that, because it does present a pretty good idea. I'd prefer if it was Harry in place of Hermione, but it's still pretty good. I give it a 4/5.


    Checked by Minion, June 12, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 12, 2013
  2. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

    Joined:
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    Washington, D.C.
    LOL. Pelotas grandes for linking to Phoenixsong.

    Overall, it was alright. Unstoppable erasure of the Weasleys is always funny, even if they were a by-product instead of the target. It left a slew of questions, which made it seem more like a wordy challenge than a one-shot.

    But that's arguably what all one-shots are. Meh, 3.7/5.
     
  3. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    3/5

    Rather drab and boring I thought. Also, "not a single witch or wizard in Britain." or anyone but Hermione to teach them... Rather arrogant twat. What about France? Or Bulgaria? Both have magical schools.

    Not all that interesting, really.
     
  4. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

    Joined:
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    Location:
    At your mothers house
    3.5/5 and what Vash said. Seriously a nuke named the "Reflective Curse" WTF?
     
  5. Veri

    Veri Denarii Host

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    Location:
    The only state that doesn't suck.
    Eh, alright idea I s'pose, and it was fairly well written... yet still, I couldn't really bring myself to like it. 3/5 for solid writing.
     
  6. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer DLP Supporter

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    Would make a good novel length fic if:

    All the wizards in the world except one died.
    The wizard that survived was Harry.
    It wasn't something as gay as that curse that killed them all.

    As it was, it was an okay oneshot that was slightly interesting.

    3/5
     
  7. AnnF

    AnnF First Year

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
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    Interesting. Couldn't believe it was really a link to Phoenix Song. But no spark.
     
  8. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2007
    Messages:
    362
    Pretty good. I think it'd work better if the back story was expanded.
     
  9. Rhetor

    Rhetor Guest

    Well, these are interesting responses. It's instructive to see reviews that aren't gushing praise.

    I'm not sure how many of your readers understood that this story was written as a response to a specific prompt with a sharp word-limit.

    We were asked to write a very short story in which a character displayed "one of the characteristics of a phoenix." The only characteristic of the phoenix that has ever mattered to me is life-from-death, being reborn out of one's own ashes. I thought that taking on the responsibility of training the survivors of a genocide was a fitting sort of rebirth, especially for Hermione.

    It's one of my most popular stories, though not necessarily the angstyist. "Counting to Five Thousand," and "On the Headmaster's Wall" are both arguably sadder.

    I can't remember why I originally limited the disaster to Britain, rather than the whole world. I think I was simply drawn to the phrase, "the last witch in Britain," rather than "the last witch on Earth." Had more punch, somehow.

    Sorry about the name "reflective curse." Does the name matter?

    Not everyone enjoys reading short stories as opposed to novels. Certainly the particular sort of attention that is required of a short story writer is different from that required of a novelist. Short story writers cut and cut, until only the absolutely necessary is left. Novelists, as John Irving once said, "are incapable of throwing anything away."

    Thanks to all for reading the story.
     
  10. TheDefiantOne

    TheDefiantOne First Year

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2008
    Messages:
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    Location:
    VA
    Its an interesting story, angsty, but is a nice attempt at what you were prompted to do.

    As for the name, well

    Whats in a name? Everything.

    Good luck with other stories. 3.5/5
     
  11. Portus

    Portus Heir

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2008
    Messages:
    2,553
    Location:
    Music City
    I read this several months back, and was pleasantly surprised; I rarely want to read a disaster fic. My praise, however, goes to the fact you got to this plot from that vague premise - very commendable and creative, thinking outside the box.

    I haven't read any of your other stories, but if they're Harry/Ginny or Ron/Hermione, I doubt I'll get to them since I avoid those pairings nowadays.

    For what it's worth, you should feel very good about the story, if for no other reason than it (and you) weren't summarily ripped to shreds in this forum, because in general, anything from a primarily H/G-leaning site can expect to be flamed repeatedly and in increasingly juvenile ways.

    Cheers!
     
  12. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Messages:
    577
    It is a pleasant way to spend a few minutes, it could be expanded, but why?

    Vash really nice image, made me chuckle.
     
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