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Oneshot Too Late by whatareyouevensaying - NC17 - HP/NM

Discussion in 'Restricted Section' started by Necros, Aug 12, 2006.

  1. Necros

    Necros Guest

    Title: Too Late
    Author: whatareyouevensaying
    Rating: NC 17
    Genre: Action/Adventure, Erotic
    Pairing: Harry/Narcissa
    Published: 2006/08/10
    Updated: 2007/08/12
    Words: 4171
    Status: One Shot, possible more chapters
    Summary:post HBP
    Harry confronts Severus Snape after Dumbledore's death. Chaos ensues. NO SLASH!

    This is his entry in the PottersPlace3 yahoo group's monthly scene writing contest of July 2006.

    Harry finds and confronts Snape after Dumbledore's murder.
    Harry is seduced by an older woman.


    Link: http://ficwad.com/story/23009


    Checked: July 30, 2012

    Checked by Dark Syaoran, June 6, 2014
    Updated old Ficwad link.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2012
  2. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,137
    Location:
    Sri Lanka
    Not bad. The interaction is nice but Narcissa's attitude is a little confusing. It would be good if this has more chapters.

    Thought I would like it more if the author wrote more on Stolen Magic.

    Still give it a 4.5/5
     
  3. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw System God Admin

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,241
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Pretty good, I liked how ruthless Harry was at the end. It also seemed so much more realistic than 90% of the Harry/Narcissa fics out there. 4/5
     
  4. Kyp's Avenger

    Kyp's Avenger Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2006
    Messages:
    127
    Location:
    USA
    It was pretty good. I didn't like how Snape was dealt with, but that may just be my personal love for that character. 4/5
     
  5. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2005
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    Location:
    Gilligan's Island
    I thought it was ok, nothing spectacular, nothing terrible. 3/5.
     
  6. Naga's Shadow

    Naga's Shadow Seventh Year

    Joined:
    May 24, 2006
    Messages:
    211
    Location:
    Miami
    It was good, nothing absolutely amazing but good. It has my seal of approval for the NC-17 section, for what my seal of approval is worth.
     
  7. CGB

    CGB Auror

    Joined:
    May 7, 2006
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Germany
    I liked it. Nothing special, but good enough. 3/5
     
  8. Fuegodefuerza

    Fuegodefuerza Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    May 6, 2006
    Messages:
    1,364
    Location:
    Texas
    Yep, I'd read this a while back, and I remembered liking it, and still do . 4/5, but only because it was a one-shot and the duel was both poorly described and unimaginative.
     
  9. Flamata

    Flamata First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2006
    Messages:
    42
    Location:
    Canada
    Yes, I found that Snape was dealt with a bit too easily, but it was still a fairly well-written fic. I agree with the 4/5.
     
  10. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

    Joined:
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    I'm gonna give it a 5/5. The duel wasn't the point of the story...Harry's personality was. And that ruthlessness was shown brilliantly. The smut was good as well, so it gets my 5/5.
     
  11. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Golden Patronus Admin

    Joined:
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    6,056
    Yeah, this is a decent oneshot. Could have done with a little more 'gore' or whatever. I would have liked to see him toy with the both of them before claiming the 'spoils of war'. Heh.

    Three out of five.
     
  12. Moloch

    Moloch Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    Messages:
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    Location:
    New Zealand
    Wasn't too bad. To disagree with Yarrgh! I thought the smut was a bit basic and from Narcissa's opinions of Lucius and Draco I was a bit confused if she was happy or angry at Malfoy's death.
     
  13. Mahotsuai-Sama

    Mahotsuai-Sama First Year

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2006
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    Location:
    ....Gagetown NB
    Hmm would have prefered the ferret being forced to watch his mother pleasure his worst enemy, before being brutally murdered of course.
     
  14. Moloch

    Moloch Groundskeeper

    Joined:
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    That would defeat the purpose of the title mate.
     
  15. Darke Gray

    Darke Gray Guest

    Not bad, I like the idea of the whole Harry alone killing everyone though, I will give it a 4/5.
     
  16. huntedorange

    huntedorange Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Highlands
    thought this was pretty good, very decent read. 4/5
     
  17. whatareyouevensaying

    whatareyouevensaying Squib

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2006
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Oops...didn't realize this thread existed.

    I posted this in the Mature Work by Author section a couple of minutes ago, complete with a slightly tweaked version of what will hopefully become the prologue to a longer story. Granted, much of what made this piece work was the fact it was a one-shot, but I hope to go back and fix it up with the help of all of your feedback. The main part that I still have yet to rework is the fight with Snape. While I love the idea of Harry being able to take him out so casually, it's not going to fit well with his development in the story. Also, it wasn't remotely realistic (I use the term loosely) in the first place.

    Thanks for reading.

    Link to other topic: http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=12066
     
  18. Marksbay

    Marksbay Banned

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    5
    The smut was a 5/5, storyline not as great. 3.5/5
    Total raring: 4.3/5

    (USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS SHITPOST)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 18, 2016
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