WIP Traveler by The Straight Elf - T - Pokemon

Discussion in 'Games' started by MonkeyEpoxy, Apr 14, 2013.

  1. Jarsha

    Jarsha Sixth Year

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    Bit of a necro, but I only just caught up.

    Now, stay with me here, but I cannot be the only person happy that the story is is going back to itslittleRoots, the Oldale ways, putting the Petalburg back on the tree limb so to speak.

    Shaking the Rustburo off, dabbing off the Dewford. Wiping the Slateport clean. Shopping at the ... Maulville.

    Perhaps checking the verdanTurf?
    Fallarboring back on the wagon?
    Avoiding the lavaridge?
    Holding down the Fortree?
    No longer gilding the Lilycove?
    Checking the Mossdeep for north?
    Clearing the Sootopolis from his eyes?

    Annd I have nothing for Pacifidlog.

    I accept full responsibility for any headaches that may occur because of this. :colbert:

    Edit: I have since realized that this is the perfect post for stupid puns, 123. Yay.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2014
  2. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy Alchemist

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    Let it be known that I gave that thumbs up out of the hope that it makes you stop that shit homie
     
  3. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy Alchemist

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    This updated, btw. A pretty transitional chapter after the Lugia stuff. Had some training, some conversation, some more knowledge about Elite 4 Trainees, and Hoenn is next.
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2014
  4. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    I'm not sure how I feel about a new region, since the only games I played were the original RBY. It was hard enough having to remember all the original 151 pokemon, and it wasn't that bad having to google every new Pokemon that showed up in the Conference... but now I'll have to google every pokemon that shows up.

    Ah well, decent chapter nonetheless, and a good conversation with Gary.
     
  5. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy Alchemist

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    Fuckin' A updated.

    I like the portrayal of Tate & Liza, Winona is weird, Dazed and Altaria are chill, and a random ass Oak appears.
     
  6. Cjonbloodletter

    Cjonbloodletter Seventh Year

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  7. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    So, I started reading this, been at it for two days or so, reading when I have time, like on the train ride and Aldiko tells me I am about 40% percent in, which is probably more than 200-300k already, fuck this story is long.

    So far, not sure how to feel about it, tbh. Skimming through the thread, I think I am the only person here who liked the two other trainers from Pallet and was sad to see them go. Not that I disliked Ash being a loner and striking out on his own but I am displeased that they have disappeared completely. Heck, it was established pretty early that the Pokedex is also a phone, and Jonathan, I think, told Ash on how they could send messages with it, yet none of the three ever did.

    That seems really unbelievable, that they didn't save each others numbers in case they got separated, or that Oak didn't program the numbers into them before, or that the parents don't have them to hand out, or that Oak doesn't have them to give to Ash and so on.

    Then again, those are the same three kids that, when they started their journey, didn't know how to build a camp, one had forgotten clothes and potions and seemed generally ill-prepared.

    Wish they would drop into the story from time to time, if only to exchange information and news.

    Gary, so far, is just a tool. I don't even like it when Ash curbstomps him because it still means I have to read about him. Maybe he gets better, but so far, even anime Gary was better.

    On Ash, well, he is competent in battle, but dunno, I feel like rather distanced to him. It's hard to get into the fights outside the fact that you kinda care for some of the pokemon and want them to prevail but never really what those fights mean for Ash. Ash feels...lifeless and unbelievable to be honest.

    I think making him 11 and half a robot was a bit of a mistake. There would have been nothing lost but everything gained if Ash had started as a 15-17 year old.

    I just don't see what advantage being 11 has. it just makes all his achievements, like fighting eldtrich monsters, exploring caverns, defeating countless adults with years of training, the fact that his mother allows him to travel across the globe, with monsters and a very active terrorist organization running around, that the military leaders or whatever the champions are, seeking him out to help combat those terrorist just seem silly. It disconnects me right from the start. I can still take some joy from reading it and I can roll with it but I am never that invested in it.

    So, where I am is, Mewtwo just crushed 3 of the Elite 4, destroyed the ACE swat teams and the psychics. My question is, is the rest of the story more of the same, Ash wandering around, training, and defeating some trainers that are not really memorable? Honestly, the one other trainer that was not Lance or Sabrina that really stood out is Jaime, the girl he partnered up with, if only because her team was memorable.

    I think, that's my problem. The story so far has preciously few characters in it. What it has is a lot of fights, training montages and a protag that feels detached to the point that I don't really care/connect with him, and he doesn't connect with anyone else, except some 30 year old master trainers who are cool with taking him to raid terrorist strongholds, which makes them slightly less believable.

    The Pokemon are decent but they have no real story arcs, they, mostly, just want to get stronger and it's not like they engage with others, other than to posture or fight.

    So far, 3/5, does it get better from here on or is more of the same?
     
  8. Callagan

    Callagan Fourth Year

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    If you're not enjoying it by then, you probably won't enjoy it. The two trainers from Pallet do show up eventually, and Gary gets a bit better, but you'll have to sit through a lot of stuff you don't enjoy to get there.
     
  9. EsperJones

    EsperJones Death Eater

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    This updated. 28k word chapter, so I haven't read it yet.
     
  10. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy Alchemist

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    D'awww the baby Aron

    The Brawly battle was entertaining, but this just raises my hype. I can't wait to see what a gym leader's Slaking can do. And Flannery's dad's fire types are probably horrifying.

    And Mewtwo taking an interest in Cynthia's writings... Disquieting. He's clearly going to be a major part of the Groudon/Kyogre/Rayquaza conflict that will show up in about half a million words. Gonna be sweet.
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2015
  11. Clerith

    Clerith Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Aww yeah. Looks like the fire to write is back. I'd actually forgotten about this fic (I used to wonder where the update was every now and then), so I probably thought it'd been abandoned or close enough. So happy that wasn't the case.

    After such a long time, all I really wanted to see was Ash and his team, so I was pretty irritated by Daisy's existence. The battle was pretty cool, and the new pokemon was a really nice choice.

    So what are the chances Mewtwo ends up in Ash's pokeball at the end of the fic?
     
  12. thattin

    thattin First Year

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    I really like this fic as a whole, one of the best in the fandom but there's just one thing that bugs me and that's how quickly Ash has become so strong. It feels a bit silly to me that he managed to become one of the strongest in the world seemingly due to how good his training methods are.

    Ash is a twelve year old in name only, everything happening in a year just seems a bit forced. I think the whole story would be strengthened if the conference happened every 5 years? Spread the events of the story out a bit by giving him more downtime between them. It also feels a bit silly for everyone to be complementing a 12 year old, really he should still be a child. He does not act like a 12 year old in the slightest, 16 would feel like a much closer age.

    Make it so it's not possible to train up an ungodly strong team in a year, that it actually takes time and dedication. He hardly spent any time training before his team got too strong for normal people to beat. Even if he is special, there are other exceptional trainers. All of which are much older than he is.

    I do still like this fic, I just picture Ash as older than he's meant to be in this. So I found the last chapter a bit jarring with Daisy constantly reminding us he's twelve yet still treating him as an equal. What 18 year old treats a 12 year old as her equal, it's a bit weird.
     
  13. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    I don't expect the story will go down that route, but I wouldn't be surprised to see Ash accepting Mewtwo's redemption and perhaps forgiving his actions.

    Be interesting to see Ash stepping up to the forefront of the fight against Aqua and Magma, perhaps seeing in them a shadow of Rocket. He'd be in a position to fight them more effectively than in Kanto.
     
  14. Adinic

    Adinic Muggle

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    Dazed remained my favorite Pokemon in the story even though I am not a big fan of the Hypno line, which is the reason I like this story.
     
  15. Fnats

    Fnats Squib

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  16. Khortez

    Khortez Third Year

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  17. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy Alchemist

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    I liked it, if I thought the first half of the chapter dragged a bit, but business picked up when we finally get to Steven.

    Ash's new fossilmon is one of the few pokemon I have never used in any of my playthroughs in any pokemon game though. I look forward to reading about Ash having to adapt to training Anorith, curbing what will be, most likely, very violent and primeval tendencies.

    I loved everything that had anything to do with Metagross in this chapter though. The re population of the beldum community was suitably both horrifying and cool. And Steven's Metagross. Ouch.

    Infernus' overheat was suitably impressive though, and Aron is still the d'awwest d'aww that ever d'awwd.
     
  18. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    Waaayyy too much introspection and musings on Ash's pokemon this chapter. The quality picked up as soon as dialogue started popping up again with the introduction of the Metagross.
     
  19. Gengar

    Gengar Polymagus Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I feel like that's happening every chapter now. Fifty percent of it being focused on - frankly - boring 'training arcs'. That could be untrue - and to be fair it probably is - but it feels that way.

    I hate it in Naruto fics, I hate it in Harry Potter fics. This is no different.

    Imo, the story would be far better served if training was shoved far into the background unless his method drastically changes.

    I left a review griping about the whole Ash vs Steven thing too, which I thought worked in principal, but was handled really poorly.

    Steven: Here's my grossly overpowered and highly experienced Psuedo-Legendary. I shall stand here as it rips your team apart.

    Steven Post Battle: Your battle management was poor and you just threw power at the problem.

    Ash: You mean like you?

    My issues with constantly yelling out commands and not training Pokemon to figure it out themselves aside (that's the football fan in me bitching), that whole scene would have had way more resonance for me if he dismantled Ash's team with a Pokemon on their level. Commanding it in a way he describes.

    That's a massive personal gripe though. I'd love to see writers tackle Pokemon training and battling like the sport it is, cutting out all the anime and video game BS.
     
  20. Garden

    Garden Minister of Magic

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    That Metagross seemed too powerful. I think at this point Ash should be able to take down 1-2 Champion level Pokemon, especially with how ridiculous Infernus has become.