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Oneshot Turncoat by Taure - T

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Skeletaure, May 16, 2006.

  1. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Title: Turncoat
    Author: Taure
    Rating: T (might go up)
    Pairings: That would be saying, but I can promise you Harry will not be falling in love with Ginny or Hermione.
    Words: 7232
    Published: August 8, 2006 (improved version)
    Status: Complete, Oneshot

    Summary:Twoshot. What if the task of killing Dumbledore in HBP had fallen not to Malfoy, but to someone else? The last person you would have imagined.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2942269/1/
    Link: https://forums.darklordpotter.net/showpost.php?p=66164&postcount=2

    Only the short prologue is posted, but I thought I would post it as a way of measureing interest. Hope you like it.
    After a bit of confusion, I should probably point out that this prologue is set at the end of GOF.



    Checked by Minion, Nov. 25, 2012
    Deleted on / by ff.net, but still on DLP
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2012
  2. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    In the infamous words of Mr. Burns - "Excellent"

    Cool alternate take.
     
  3. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    I'm sure it will be awesome, as it is written pretty well, but I can't read Harry killing Dumbledore if Dumbledore was not evil and manipulating.

    Please Harry...

    AVADA KEDAVRA!

    I dunno, it rubs me the wrong way. I always did like Dumbledore, so that's probably it.
     
  4. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    Ah... I like that, it appeals to my machiavellian side. The trusting defeated by the willing, it's delicious irony.
     
  5. Fuegodefuerza

    Fuegodefuerza Minister of Magic

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    Great start. Too bad it's only going to be two chapters long, I could see this being a novel length story. Keep it up!
     
  6. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    Excellent. Making this only two chapters is stupid though, IMO. It seems like a real waste.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2006
  7. Patrik f

    Patrik f Guest

    Great story... I especially like the fact that Harry seams to have been loyal to Voldy since his first year. This story could easily be far longer, a few flashbacks could be added for the more important parts of the past books to show a new meaning to them, Sorcerer's Stone and why harry did not give it to voldy, Riddle's diary and why harry destroyed it, why harry tried to capture wormtail and such.
     
  8. CGB

    CGB Auror

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    Very promising start. It's really a shame it'll just be a twoshot.
     
  9. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Don't worry, explaination of the past will be included in the next installment.

    As for it being longer, yes it probably could be, but that would just be filler. This way I'm just including the important, and more importantly for me as a writer, the fun bits. As it is, it will probably be in the order of 12000 words.

    I should also mention that I have exams in the coming weeks, so it might be about 2-3 weeks until I finish it off. I have 15 scenes to do, and am planning to do 1 a day, but some days that won't be possible and some days I might do more, so who can say?
     
  10. Vassago

    Vassago First Year

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    A very interesting start, as said before this could be a much longer story, but I see your point on the filler part. I'll be waiting for the completing chapter.
     
  11. nightangel960

    nightangel960 Fifth Year

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    caught my attention can't wait to see what happens next
     
  12. Ivy_Snowe

    Ivy_Snowe Second Year

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    Definitely worth a read. Very good.
     
  13. Void Sorcerer

    Void Sorcerer Groundskeeper

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    Although it is very sad that it won't be longer seeing as it has such great potential it is still very good and I can't wait to see what happens.
     
  14. Promios

    Promios Fourth Year

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    Very good. I think it is extremely stupid to make it this short, the story would be so much better if it would be longer. I mean, from the start. Harrys training in the dark arts...and so on.
     
  15. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I've finally got off my arse and got round to finishing it. I decided to put it in oneshot form in the end, as it was easier that way. Anyway, enjoy! (hopefully)
     
  16. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

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    Excellent. I only have good things to say about this one-shot.

    In terms of one-shots, this is right up there with Ruskbyte's 40k epic...a must read story.
     
  17. BloodLust

    BloodLust Banned

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    Out of my mind...back in 5 minutes
    It won't let me review again on ff.net which is just plain rude
    but I like this new bit. especially the end :D
     
  18. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    Excellent job Taure! I enjoyed it greatly, even if I do wish it wasn't a oneshot. =)
     
  19. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Thanks for the reviews guys, I don't suppose you could rate the thread so that Sya doesn't move it to the trash bin do you? lol

    I've just been re reading it on ff.net and I'm seeing so many mistakes...I guess there will always be a few that you don't catch. Maybe one day I'll post a corrected version.

    EDIT: I've posted at ficwad, the version with less mistakes, although it isn't formatted as well:

    http://www.ficwad.com/viewstory.php?sid=22673
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2006
  20. Vincent V

    Vincent V Slug Club Member

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    Great story Taure! Wish you would have made it longer though :p. Anyway, it was extremely original and very well written. I loved what Harry did to hermione in the end.
     
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