WIP Unfinished Business by Extrinsical - T - Fate/stay Night

Discussion in 'Fate/Stay Night' started by Dark Syaoran, Jan 15, 2015.

  1. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Persona 4 Admin

    Joined:
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    Title: Unfinished Business
    Author: Extrinsical
    Rating: T
    Genre: Drama
    Status: WIP
    Fandom: Fate/stay Night
    Pairings: Shirou/Rin
    Summary: One day, Shinji approaches them on the roof of Homurahara Academy. Post UBW, game verse.

    Link: FFN

    Only two chapters so far. Post UBW route as the summary suggests, true end. Shirou/Rin pairing is pretty rare compared to the other two, so this stood out rather nicely for me. The story seems to be heading toward Rin attempting to reconcile with Sakura as the main plot.

    Mostly just a nice little light read so far, though with Sakura's past, I'm sure the drama will be sufficiently filled with angst. Not an action story as far as I can see and it isn't listed, so don't expect fights and magecraft and all that stuff.

    Have fun.
     
  2. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    2,231
    Bumped to gain attention:

    I really was sure people would jump at this story.

    Please read and review and rate this story. I'll leave it in here until Feb. 15.
     
  3. joshuafaramir

    joshuafaramir Unspeakable

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    I'd give it 4/5 for now. It really is still too short to be reviewed properly but based on the current work, the quality seems good enough.

    There are no glaring mistakes grammar-wise nor there are any of that irritating cliches about Shirou and over-tsundereness of Rin that's prevalent in a lot of F/SN fics. The characters feels fleshed out as it should since he's only focusing on Rin and Shirou.
    Their character feels like it matured just enough to be different from pre-HGW but believable in a sense that they are war veterans now.

    Not much angst but it's fairly easy to predict where the story is going since it deals with the aftermath of the Matou household and how they dealt with Sakura.

    All in all, this is a relationship fic, one that focuses on character development and dialogue. A little bit of mystery here and there makes it into an interesting read that will probably catch your attention depending on what mood you're in.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2015
  4. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    Gave it a read. Enjoyable so far and something I've always wanted done (Post UBW or Fate route which actually deals with Sakura's predicament in the aftermath). It has that almost VN style writing style which kind of works here and is pulled off well.

    But at 12,000 words, too short to rate.
     
  5. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
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    1,952
    It's too short to rate.
    Also, the tense is all wrong.
    As much as I like present tense stories...

    "He actually wasn't planning to until he knows for sure" is not good style - the author is clearly trying to use present tense, but he frequently throws past tense into the same sentence and it reads awful.