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Username Guide

Discussion in 'Introduction Archives [Closed]' started by Robo Jesus, Jan 23, 2007.

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  1. Robo Jesus

    Robo Jesus High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2007
    Messages:
    520
    Every so often, Darklordpotter.net gets a new member or two. More often than not, this new member has chosen a username that is, to be quite honest, very common and dull. Personality issues, or lack thereof, aside, most new members complain that they're overlooked; it's difficult to gain credibility.

    The reason for this is that most usernames tend to blend in with each other. Cosmetically, what's the difference between Ryukin and Hyoken? Very little, despite their having no relation.
    How many times have you seen several people in the same thread with an identical word in their respective names, such as Dark or Neo? It happens frequently enough to be noticeable.
    I grow weary of seeing the same hackneyed username themes day in, day out, ad infinitum.

    I know some people don't mind being known as SolidSnakeX37, but such names are apt to be forgotten as soon as the viewer is through glancing over the owner's post.
    So here's a simple guide to the biggest Do's and Don'ts in creating an enjoyable username for yourself. Some of you down in front may wish to open a notebook and begin recording.

    Rule 1: Avoid Numbers If Possible - This is a big one. The difference between BigJohnny and BigJohnny349 is that obviously the name without the numbers came first, as he didn't require a sequential ID to avoid confusion.
    Having numbers at the end of your name demonstrates a lack of originality. There are millions of people online. Having numbers makes you a number, a meaningless drone in a crowd of many.
    It is somewhat acceptable to use numbers if they have a strong significance, such as a number that has brought you great luck or your hockey jersey's number the year you won the title. Nobody will mind that, but don't expect to be instantly gratified for existing either.
    Numbers to avoid at all costs: 666, 69, 1337, "#1".

    Rule 2: 13375P34|< = BAD - This is a no-brainer to most, really, yet it must be stated so that nobody could say it was ignored.
    Leetspeak was devised by a group of lonely, college geeks who had no life outside their pizza-box infested dormitory. Even if you too are a lonely college geek whittling the time away on EverQuest, by virtue of not being a co-inventor of 13375P34|<, you are cooler than that. Do not sink to this level! It is considered the lowest method of communication upon the internet, lower, even, than singles chatrooms on AOL.

    Rule 3: You are NOT Vegita, Spike Spiegel or Cloud Strife! - There is something instantaneously phony about someone who arrives at a message board and calls himself Squall Lionheart. You want credibility? Don't rip off a popular series or video game. It reeks of fanboy-ism, which indicates an immature obsession or an inability to seperate reality from fiction. Imagination is priceless, but we left behind this level of pretend way back in the second grade.
    Everybody knows that Trunks, Dante, Lara Croft and the rest are fictional. You're fooling only yourself.
    By all means, it is absolutely retarded to attempt to create a persona by combining several unrelated characters into one uber-fusion of ungodly might and breathtaking awe, such as Serious Link Highwind . PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!
    And for God's sake, don't name yourself after an entire anime or video game series!! I cringe each time an inanimate concept such as Resident Evil, Macross or Twisted Metal Black somehow manifests itself into a real, moving, functioning being, then, invariably, heads straight to these forums to post inane opinions on unreleased software.
    If you feel the need to be perceived as a particular icon, please make it one that isn't already idolized by hundreds of thousands of rabid fans. A good choice would be a lesser Marvel comics villain, such as Judas Traveller or High Evolutionary, for just two examples.

    Rule 4: If Everybody Else Is Doing It, Then You Don't Need To As Well! - There are a great many words which appear in usernames frequently, so much so that distinguishing between those who have varying combinations of these internet buzzwords is downright frustrating.
    Take the following sample names: DarkNinjaX and XDarkness - These are obviously different when placed side by side, yet in scrolling through an assortment of posts, their unique features tend to smear together in a disgusting blur of hackneyed jargon. Toss in some more overused lingo and it may as well be the same person posting repeatedly.
    The problem with most of these words is that they all reflect some sort of angst. Within each, there's an implication of impending doom, as though the user were absolutely writhing with a desire to destroy either himself or humanity-at-large.
    See, we don't care about your angst. You're not the only person who has problems with which to contend, so your suffering doesn't need to be made ours by having a name that demonstrates the kind of embittered, tortured, misunderstood soul that you really are. Yeah, you, the guy wearing the Blink182 shirt and shoving Hostess cupcakes into his mouth at 135 mph. You're so full of suffering, aren't you? Get real.
    Instant buzzkills: Hyper, Dark, Fallen, Neo, X, Hell, Mega, Final, King, Lord, Shadow, Eternal, Soul, Night, Grim, amongst numerous others.
    If you wanna be angsty or mysterious, make it good. Gloryblaze works just fine. Empty Heart is pure cheese.

    Rule 5: Excessive Punctuation Is Not a Substitute for Creativity - This is to say that your name is not rendered qualitative by bracketing it in obscure punctuation symbols. Worse yet, using nothing but hard to find accents, octothorps and foreign currency marks as your username is downright annoying, especially for those who would wish to address you by said name.
    Imagine typing out the following name several times a day: xX$quelch~Xx - Your mind would go numb after locating the various shift coordinates for each mention of this cretin's name.
    Should you find the desire to include punctuation, please note that it rarely ever makes your name appear more attractive. Perhaps "~~@" symbolizes a rose in IRC, but it doesn't do much for your actual name except overcomplicate it with needless ideography.

    Rule 6: There Are Thousands of Asian Names and They All Tend to Look the Same, Especially to Non-Asians - As pointed out earlier in this tutorial, the frequency of names inspired by the Asian culture is ever-growing. Granted, many of us think the various cultures of Japan, Indonesia and China are fascinating, yet when filtering through hundreds of people in one Forum, it is increasingly complex to tell the Asian names apart.
    This is not meant as a slander to those of authentic Asian descent; you are quite justified in your wishes to use an Asian name, for you hail from the land of Overpriced Big Macs. This is your native tongue.
    For everyone else, give it a rest. Back in 1996, when the internet was still primarily used by fat, pimply, engineering majors who had good reason to disguise their true natures, acting as though you were of another culture was permissable, albeit dishonest.
    Now, the internet is used by geeks, soccer moms, inner-city folk, jet-setters, the elderly, etc. There's no real reason to hide yourself, because nobody truly cares anymore. Nearly everyone uses the net, therefore there's no reason to not be true to yourself. If you're still the kind of person who consistently asks "a/s/l?", then these forums is not for you in the first place.
    This having been said, the glut of names based upon Asian culture simply because it's the cool culture to be, at the moment, is ridiculous. There are so many names in this style that very few can honestly keep them organized in their minds.
    In other words, A Hikari is a Shoujin is an Umezawa is a Yi Xing.
    If you use this kind of username, don't become offended whenever someone innocently confuses you with another member whose Asian name contains similar letters. He's out there somewhere.

    Rule 7: Be Kind to Our Eyes - This is a short one, but this rule is nonetheless broken periodically by insensitive, possibly mentally deficient, people who think the "Caps Lock" key is there to keep their hat firmly on their head while they play their Megadeth albums at 170 decibels, as they type.
    Simply put, using names in all capital letters is very harsh when the name is displayed in bright, white lettering in your userbox.
    Here, let's see how this looks: PARTY ANIMAL - Pretty bold, huh?
    Aesthetics aside, captial letters is the internet way of raising your voice. Anything written in consistent capitalizations is the writer's way of screaming at you. HE WANTS TO BE NOTICED!
    To waltz into a new message board and register a name in capitalized entirity is rather grandiose and quite presumptuous. You're effectively shouting your presence at everyone, which looks poor upon you. Most people, by now, have established a knee-jerk reaction to completely ignore people who do this, as a way of compensating for the raucous noise they constantly make whenever they enter a thread.
    Wanna make matters worse? Then bewilder us with alternating capital and lowercase letters. It'S a PaIn In ThE bUtToCkS tO dEcIpHeR, i AsSuRe YoU. It's even more vexing to type out. 99% of all users will completely diregard your flair for the shift key by typing your name as it would have been chosen by a more sane, less ego-driven person. Hence, SeAtTlEsLeW would be made into SeattleSlew and the only person wasting their time will be you each time you log in.
    One other note, don't purposely misspell words to the point of mangling them completely. RaccoonLover is a fine name, but when given the idiot treatment, it becomes RakoonLuvvr. That looks amazingly...dense. It's as though you're telling us that you either cannot spell basic words or that you're too lazy to bother with acceptable communication skills. Either way, you'll be hated, shunned and driven from the boards.


    Those are basically the big rules of ettiquette. Obey them and, although your name may not be overly creative, you will be accepted just fine.
    "So, how do I go about creating a better username while avoiding the most common mistakes presented above?"

    I'm glad you mentally asked that as you read this, just now, exactly when I prompted you. Have a cookie.

    There's no one, true method of obtaining a name that is seen as creative, unique or interesting. It's a process of trial and error. Possessing a strong imagination helps, as does a solid grasp of the English language. (I say English because this is the tongue most commonly used here on these Forums. For other boards, German may be the status quo. I don't visit everywhere.)

    Some tricks to creating a good name are as follows.

    Examine Yourself - No odd lumps? Good. Now search your personality and think about what makes you tick. Do you enjoy sports or are you a good chess player? Do you tend to be a worker, a doer or are you shiftless and apathetic? Are you peaceful or violent? Knowing yourself can help create a good username, based upon your personality. Choose a feature that is a reasonable representation of yourself and work with it.
    Remember! Avoid angsty names! They make you look whiny!

    Find a Nifty Word - This is how some people do it. They scour a dictionary or thesaurus and look for an odd, yet pleasing word, then make an alteration or two, or perhaps none at all. What's left is an interesting concept that catches people's attention as they read your name. The name Ziggurat is far more interesting than HockeyFan. It evokes a certain air of mystery, whereas hockey fans are as common as seagulls at a McDonalds parking lot.

    Demonstrate Some Wit - This is something of an accelerated skill, not to be attempted by the depressed or the weak of conviction. But if you can pull it off, then more power to you!
    If you can create a play on words, something that flows or makes a small joke, then you're well on your way to a good username. Words (or phrases) that end and seamlessly flow into another word by way of identical spelling are excellent as usernames. Consider something as follows: Utopium, Alphanumerican, Retrogradio and Precious Gemini are all quite viably usernames of quality.
    But it can work for any pun or phrase. Here's some right off the top of my head. JohnnyComeLately, Lola Palooza, OREOSpeedwagon and President Evil. They're not fantastic, but very few people would give you an iota of grief over names like this.

    Go for the Bizarre - Seriously, this works. Some of the most interesting names I've ever seen were combinations of items or ideas that I would have never otherwise placed next to wach other in my mind.
    The more odd the reference, the better. One of my favorites from the past was PsychicSandwich. That had class, albeit a very warped sense of class.
    If you cannot identify one representative trait or cannot find a phrase that flows, make something strange up. The more random, the more likely it is to work! It shows that you're zany, which is a quirk people seem to flock to, for some reason.
    You can do this with a dictionary and a blindfold, by searching through your garage for odd baubles or simply by brainstorming about things that make you laugh, such as tube socks or weevils.
    Many times, an adjective followed by a noun heightens the hilarity. Things are always funnier when juxtaposed with unrelated, typically inapplicable traits.
    Bonus points for rhymes and alliteration!
    Let's try it together! Disgruntled Chainsaw, Neon Lemonade, PorchWeasel, ZootFruit
    See? Instant weird! Few people wish to risk exposure to such mental instability, so the result is that you'll usually be given a smooth ride into eventual acceptance.
    Don't be scary-weird though. Something along the lines of Cornpooper is going to raise quite a few eyebrows, not necessarily in a good way.

    The rest is pretty much up to you. The methods are vast, the possibilities endless. It only takes a few minutes of your time to design an acceptably good username. It doesn't have to be cybergold, but avoiding the most common and frustrating mistakes most newbies make will help your cause greatly. This guide should also help you in finding names for your stories as well, should you decide to use it.

    (Apologies to any upstanding member of Darklordpotter.net Forums whose presence is enjoyed despite your having violated one or more of these basic procedures. Next time, you'll learn.):p
     
  2. Dark Lord Rostam

    Dark Lord Rostam Button La Famiglia Midknight

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Messages:
    1,893
    Location:
    In that thing you call a closet. Better watch out,
    I have both Dark and Lord in my name. Do you have a problem of this? Please, check my name sir! Is it good enough for you?

    Most of that is right...but I am Dark Lord Rostam! Right..?
     
  3. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw System God Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2005
    Messages:
    4,235
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Got yourself a sticky. But "Lord" is common around here, with power complexes and the name of the forums considered. Mostly good advice though.

    Anna is exempted from the X rule on account of her skittle addiction. ;)
     
  4. That Wench

    That Wench Skittles Addict

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2006
    Messages:
    259
    Location:
    London, England
    ^ I was going to state that lots of people have X, dark, Lord etc. in their names...
    even the Admins/mods etc. so... I think you practically dissed everyone in this little thread of yours...

    Good Going :D

    :( If Raven say's it's okay then it's okay.. DAMN YOU RAVEN
     
  5. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
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    2,582
    Location:
    The Octagon - Say that to my face and not online m
    2450 words. While that was easily the most interesting introduction I've seen...
    You wasted 10 minutes of my life and I want them back!

    Welcome to DLP.


    Oops, not actually your introduction... Umm.. *Darius flees*
     
  6. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2005
    Messages:
    8,386
    Location:
    Gilligan's Island
    I like my name.

    And it has just enough personality to avoid the dullness.
     
  7. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
    Messages:
    1,052
    Location:
    Purdue University, Indiana
    I started reading, thinking "What a pretentious asshole, one day on the forums and he's lecturing already?"

    Then, about five minutes later, I had a grin on my face as I read it.

    So...well done, impressive wit and a promising sense of humor. Pretend like this is the official 'Yarrgh welcomes you' post. :D

    Rep++
     
  8. Gullible

    Gullible Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2006
    Messages:
    1,112
    Location:
    Sitting in front of a broken compooter, lolololol
    It IS good, but, I have definatly seen it on other boards so I am doubtful that it is your work.

    No matter, it is good. But in my case I think the anti-climactic end to my name negates any use of Dark and Lord.
     
  9. japanese_jew

    japanese_jew High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Messages:
    598
    lulz. I actually use avatars to remember who's who, so it's a moot point for me. A picture is worth a thousand words. :) My name is what makes me tick however, so I'm good.
     
  10. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    7,449
    Location:
    Australia
    Actually, I use avatar's as an identifer also, much quicker to use to identify.

    I wonder how many times people have had to realign my name with my avatar. <_<
     
  11. gadriam

    gadriam Second Year

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2006
    Messages:
    72
    Location:
    Sweden
    Well, usernames that looks like Donald Ducks cussing tends to annoy me, and i believe that if you put Lord in your username you'd better be a moderator or a well established member of the board. I picked a namelike sound that's not native to any country in the world, as far as i've been able do find. Dull is fine with me.

    'Twas a good read, good advices and i'll use it if i ever need to get a new one.

    g
     
  12. Mindless

    Mindless Big Boss DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2006
    Messages:
    1,355
    Location:
    United States
    Listen to Robo Jesus, because he has a sweet banner. To go back to on-topic for introductions, welcome to the site and makes sure to read the rules, stickies, and follow them. Also, drop by S&P.
     
  13. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

    Joined:
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    I was under the impression that you picked your username when you joined the site. ;)
     
  14. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Australia

    I changed my name five times with my mind powerz. ^_^
     
  15. Myst

    Myst Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2006
    Messages:
    1,186
    Location:
    Ahoskie, NC
    That was certainly enlightening. Welcome to the forums and keep it up with posts like that.
     
  16. japanese_jew

    japanese_jew High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Messages:
    598
    Somehow, your username reminds me of the guy whose avatar is getafix (wow, I should really stop using avatars to identify people.)

    /JJ raises hand

    But it's okay now, I don't even remember your old avatar.
     
  17. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

    Joined:
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    Yes but not everyone has your mind powers >_<

    Edit: Care to site your sources Dark Lord Gullible?
     
  18. Ray

    Ray Second Year

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2005
    Messages:
    72
    *Looks at own name*

    You all fail miserably.
     
  19. japanese_jew

    japanese_jew High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Messages:
    598
    I did a google search on it, and the only other instance I could find was also written by Robo Jesus.

    http://forums.spacebattles.com/archive/index.php/t-100746.html

    edit: Oh, and I didn't even realize that your name had an anticlimactic end. I took one look at it, saw dark lord, looked at the last word as I usually did, realized that I could never remember the word gullible, and just memorized your avatar, which I noted was slightly incongruous with your name, considering how relaxed it seemed. Dark Lord Rostam, on the other hand, is obviously Rostam (not a common word), and has the DLR avatar.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2007
  20. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2006
    Messages:
    858
    Location:
    The Mouth of Ports
    High Score:
    9,373
    Too many times. Then again, I keep associating Amerison with that damn Rocket Sheep.

    Good post Jesus, have some rep++.
     
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