Its awful short for a one shot. Definitely an emotional piece. Not something I'm accustomed to reading, to be honest, because I don't ever read fanfic for the romance aspect.

I did like this. Technically sound, and it was appropriate to canon. @Sauce Bauss you just gave me a big fucking dose of Nostalgia. I remember back in the day waiting for the last couple books of the series to come out and hoping that the fandom was as appealing as Harry Potter and being severely disappointed. I always liked the future earth world he goes to, where everything is underground, whole cities, and other such things and nature had taken back the surface.

I remember how much I hated Saint Dane, and how annoyed I was when the story ended.

Over all, 4/5.

 

So I'm reading this as someone who's never read the Pendragon series.

Even without knowing any of the context behind this story, it's a powerful emotional piece. Some things are universal, and it's definitely true here. You can tell there's a bittersweet tug of war going on inside the MC's head, between two women he loves - one that's here, real, tangible vs one that's otherworldly, ephemeral, "ideal". It doesn't fall into the classic trope of making one girl evil (or less likable) even.

From a technical standpoint, there's probably stuff that can be improved, but it understands it's a short piece and doesn't really try to overreach and be something it isn't meant to be.

All of that said, the story checks a box that few can - it made me care. That's not something easy in a few hundred words, especially when I'm not a captive audience to begin with (hell, it'd be fair to say I'm treating this for all intents and purposes more as an original piece of fiction than fanfiction given how much I know).

For that, I think it deserves a solid 4/5.

 

Can we get another review on this before it moves out of For Review?