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Abandoned Who I Am by TwinTrouble - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Trig, Jun 7, 2010.

  1. Trig

    Trig Auror

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    Location:
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    Title: Who I Am
    Author: TwinTrouble
    Rating: Teen
    Pairing: No pairing, Naruto and Sasuke are best friends, nothing more
    Chapters: 16
    Words: 118,418
    Updated: January 10, 2011
    Published: February 13, 2009
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4860864/1/Who_I_Am

    Summary: Naruto has been keeping dangerous secrets for years. A long-forgotten dream that just won't die, an ally he shouldn't know and a friend no one thought he had are what keep him going. Graduating is the least of his problems…

    The main story element is revealed at the end of the first chapter so I'm not going to spoil anything, but the characterization and descriptions in this fic are simply amazing. I've read up to chapter 5 and I'm pretty much hooked.

    That, and I'm a sucker for 1st person fics.

    Edit: Seriously forgot the link...


    Checked: June 8, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 8, 2012
  2. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    Does Naruto ever get un-blinded or something? It's hard to immerse myself in the story when the main character is blind. <_<

    Good writing so far, I've not read it all yet, but a 5/5 for now.
     
  3. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

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    Don't read these spoilers until you read the story. >_>

    I suppose it's perspective. I enjoyed the difference. No other stories have ever done this idea well. And immersion isn't really an issue, for me. Possibly because my eyesight is bad enough to be able to empathize with people who can't see at all. /: At least a little.

    I found it excellent. 5/5
     
  4. Custer

    Custer Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

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    I loved this fic, though after eleven chapters, it still felt too short. The author is excellent at writing through Naruto's eyes. In fact, after reading I have to remember that
    I'm not blind, Naruto is
    because I get so immersed in the character. I kinda dislike that Naruto isn't strong, but it's understandable. I really hope that
    he gets unblinded to some degree, since it handicaps him so damn much. Gaara is gonna rape him at this point.

    4.5/5 since it's great, but isn't perfect yet.
     
  5. DarkAizen

    DarkAizen Professor DLP Supporter

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    I don't like it. It's filled with cliches.

    The whole Naruto can escape from ANBU thing is annoying, but the fact that they figured out the bell test + that Naruto seems to have the answer to anything. Sasuke is really out of character. The main character is blind but that doesn't matter 'cause he has the Daredevil hearing.

    What else? ... Naruto seems to perform better than Time and Again Naruto and he already been through these situations once.

    2/5 for the writing and adequate dialog.
     
  6. Magus

    Magus Groundskeeper

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    This is cool. 4/5 so far, but that's because I too became a bit disappointed at the fact that Naruto's other senses don't really seem to be able to fully compensate for his blindness in a fight (I was expecting some Daredevil shit here).

    So here's my prediction, if Naruto and Sauke stay friends throughout the whole of their genin years and Sasuke doesn't go off with Orochimaru etc, I'm guessing Sasuke will donate an eye to Naruto, giving him temporary vision when he needs it. This is my guess at least.
     
  7. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    Or maybe Itachi will give him his eyes instead of giving them to Sasuke... unlike Kakashi, Naruto has a shitton of chakra so he won't run out quite as fast as Kakashi.

    I gotta say, that would be pretty awesome.
     
  8. Maki

    Maki Sent Back to India

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    This is SHIT. The only good bit was naruto's problem, other than that, it is pure trash

    1/5

    not to mention the subtle slash vibe im getting

    edit: 2-3/5 for later chapters. The style aint that great. Bin it.
    edit2: okay, latter few chaps gets worse. Pure rehash of canon with problem!naruto. The authors an aussie.. lol.

    back to 1.5/5
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2010
  9. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    Uh huh. If you have that strong of an opinion, you might want to elaborate on why you think it's shit.
     
  10. Custer

    Custer Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

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    You make the literate world weep.
     
  11. Sin Saiori

    Sin Saiori Death Eater

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    I second, third, and fourth this recommendation. 5/5 for being an awesome story.

    Disability fics are all well and good, but far too many times do I read stories where authors write the character as if they don't have the disability; things like a character being blind, but the character 'seeing' something. This story captures the characterization perfectly. The fact that Naruto wasn't born blind helps with the characterization somewhat (and probably makes it easier to write, since Sasuke doesn't have to describe what colors look like to a blind kid).
     
  12. CareOtters

    CareOtters Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    This.

    I remember seeing Kakashi and Zabuza fighting in the anime blinded totally by mist (long time since I saw it, so I might be wrong), proving that skilled enough ninja can fight at a high level without their sight.

    I'd like to see some more of this, but maybe the author's just trying not to make Naruto too overpowered just yet.

    4/5 so far, and closer to 5 than 3.
     
  13. Aakunen

    Aakunen Second Year

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    It's a solid story but it desperately needs to stop rehashing canon with blind Naruto - point of divergence is pretty obvious (Sasuke doesn't leave the village), but it's taking forever to get there, even though Naruto's narrative makes things less boring than usual.

    I'm a little wary of the fact that Naruto can speak to the Kyuubi without going into the seal, and that Naruto seems to be on Karin's level when it comes to sensing chakra, but so far those are only minor annoyances. On the other hand, I really liked fight scenes, and interactions between members of the Team 7.

    4/5, probably will upgrade to 5/5 when the story finally diverges from canon.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2010
  14. GiantMonkeyMan

    GiantMonkeyMan High Inquisitor

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    Meh, it's alright. 2-3/5

    The story is alright and I enjoy the narrative tone/style but there are parts which really fucking annoy me. Like the usage of 'teme' and 'dobe' every three lines. It's ok to use them once in a while but the constant usage without any change in pronoun grates on me.

    And things like this:
    Just how the fuck does Naruto analyse Kakashi in all of three seconds? 'Probably lives in the past' my ass. Even Naruto-ninja, who spend most of their time posturing to each other before exploding something, learn by necessity to lie and cheat; hence the 1st part of the chuunin exam. Unlike canon-Naruto or Sasuke, who parade their emotions openly, Kakashi strikes me as a person who can keep his tone of voice deceptively bored and hides things very well.

    Even if this version of Naruto has been blind for most his life and learnt through experience to gauge the voices of those around him, there is a difference between telling if Mizuki is lying outright (which Naruto wasn't even sure about, just noticing something strange about his voice) and being able to ascertain Kakashi's likes/dislikes being something adult. It just seems that, like Daredevil and a lot of comic book characters, the scope of his abilities can lie anywhere on the scale in order to provide the writer with a way to propel the plot or give Naruto a ridiculously insightful observation.
     
  15. Kari Black

    Kari Black DA Member

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    I really enjoyed this. I'm a big fan of Sasuke and Naruto friendship fics (when they're done well, and this is), and as people have mentioned, I like the fact that he is actually disabled for once in a disabled fic. And as for the people who commented that if Kakashi and Zabuza could fight blind, Naruto should be able to as well...Kakashi and Zabuza have years of shinobi experience on Naruto. The way I see it, Naruto is a rookie genin at the moment so he's just not as good a fighter as them-blind or otherwise. By the time he's a jounin, yeah he will probably be able to fight as well as them blind (probably better even since he always has to fight blind).

    And I hope Sasuke does donate an eye to Naruto as a way to get around the whole no-blind-shinobi thing mentioned in the latest chapter. That'd' be awesome-you'd have three sharingan users on one team, and all of them with only one eye each.

    4/5 and 5/5 if the sharingan thing happens.
     
  16. Fiat

    Fiat The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Pretty sure that he picked that up from what Kakashi said, not his tone of voice.
    Kind of indicates a lack of thought towards the future. The alternative to looking foreward to the future is living in the past. It's an uncharacteristically intelligent analysis, but it's not some daredevil-like superpower.
     
  17. Custer

    Custer Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

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    New update GET!
     
  18. Aakunen

    Aakunen Second Year

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    I read the latest chapter and it seems that Kabuto smells like snakes, huh? Fail.

    3/5
     
  19. Sin Saiori

    Sin Saiori Death Eater

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    It stands to reason that spending that much time around someone will probably rub off some of the scent. Being in such close proximity of someone who smells so strongly of snakes, and possibly being experimented on by said person only increases the chances of that happening.

    I liked this chapter.
    Sakura's reaction to Naruto's injuries was well written, presenting her embarrassment at her own assumed inconsideratation. Also, it was interesting to see how just Sasuke's delayed waking up affected what could have happened. The fact that he woke up and didn't have someone to go crazy on could potentially change the entire scenario.

    5/5 from me.
     
  20. Aakunen

    Aakunen Second Year

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    Yes, and Naruto is the only one around to notice that. In the entire village full of ninjas with the sense of smell almost as good/better than the average Inuzuka, Naruto will be the only one to notice.

    Also, apparently Kabuto is so bad as a spy, that he seems to reveal his real skills to gennin without any reason. Even if the fact that he was a spy was pretty obvious since his introduction, the moment he revealed his skills, during the fight with Tsunade, I was really surprised. Seems extremely out of character for him.

    There is also a matter that Naruto can judge who is a jounin and who isn't thanks to feeling their chakra (how does that even work?) which reeks of the DBZ and power levels.

    IMHO, the story is still not bad, but gets annoying to get through at times.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2010