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Abandoned Who I Am by TwinTrouble - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Trig, Jun 7, 2010.

  1. Khazad-Dumb

    Khazad-Dumb Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

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  2. Trig

    Trig Unspeakable

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    Updated.

    I'm torn about this new chapter.
    I like how everybody tries to accommodate Naruto because of his 'recent' blindness. The reactions and interactions of all characters seem very genuine which is a major bonus point for this fic, his goes hand in hand with how well his disability is portrayed.

    -BUT-

    I can't believe that even after this chapter nobody figured Naruto's secret out. In the beginning it was still believable, but now it's simply implausible.

    And the second thing that I really dislike is how slow the story is progressing. Everything builds up towards the upcoming divergence, at this point Sasuke would never leave Konoha. That's when the fic would become interesting again, but at the rate the story is progressing...


    Does anyone else like these Memos as much as I do? The author isn't wasting everyone's time by writing whole scenes for a single funny line, I think it's a quite interesting solution.
     
  3. Kari Black

    Kari Black DA Member

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    I really enjoy the memos too--it adds a bit of humor while letting us know what's going on with the other instructors/teams/whatever without dragging the story out.

    And it really is getting pretty ridiculous how no one has figured it out yet. I've been banging my head against the keyboard. If it doesn't happen within the next two chapters, I may have to shoot myself. At the very least Kakashi should have noticed. I mean seriously, he has at least some experience adjusting to loss of sight so he should know that Naruto wouldn't be able to adjust this quickly. It's totally ridiculous.
     
  4. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

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    Meh, I don't think it's implausible. He's been stuck in the hospital most of the time. The one thing that tipped Kakashi off was Naruto reading -- other than that Naruto hasn't really done anything suspicious.

    The story is moving extremely slow though, I wish the author would speed it up.

    One thing that keeps bothering me during this whole arc is that in their world, it is entirely possible to take someone elses eyes and integrate them into a different body, as seen with Kakashi's Sharingan and Obito. That operation was done on the field as well, by a Chuunin no less. Sarutobi knows how important Naruto's life as a ninja is, so why wouldn't he just order some prisoner get his eyes taken out and given to Naruto?

    I mean, when no one except Sasuke knew he was blind, that could fly, but not when everyone knows it.
     
  5. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    So...

    How does Naruto use a henge if he doesn't know what anyone looks like?

    Edit 1:

    Well, I just finished chapter 5 and I'm not sure how I feel about this. Naruto and Sasuke are oddly clingy to each other, which I guess is sort of okay. Definitely a change from their normal portrayals in fanfiction.

    I suppose my biggest complaint is that pretty much all of the conflict so far in the story is based on the fact that nobody knows that Naruto is blind and he is unwilling to tell anyone. I'm not sure why this is, because given that this is the ninja world there are about a thousand ways to help Naruto deal with his disability - from teaching him jutsu to help him "see" (we know that there are ninja in canon who are blind) to simply giving him an eye transplant (which seems to be the "in" fashion of the day). I can't see Sarutobi not getting Naruto the help he needs.

    Perhaps it is explained later, but I'm a bit confused about how Naruto was blinded to begin with. It's hinted that he was attacked by someone, but if that's so then how is it that nobody found out about the attack (and the accompanied wounding) except for Sasuke, who apparently didn't tell anyone either (including his parents, who were still alive, or Itachi). But really, a 5 year old kid keeps this from everyone? Really?

    Finally, I can't wrap my head around the fact that no one has noticed that Naruto is blind. Nevermind all of the instructors at the academy. I can't figure out how Kakashi hasn't noticed this. The whole blindfolded mission should have been a dead giveaway (and I was sure when I first read it that it was a test by Kakashi to confirm his suspicions, since there's literally no way that Team 7 would have been successful on that mission if one of them weren't blind), but no, the author continues to drag it out.

    Now I'm just waiting for Kakashi's response when he finally does figure out that Naruto is blind. I'm thinking anywhere from "how fucking stupid are you not telling your team and commander that you can't see" to "oh, well we can get that fixed right up for you. Too bad you didn't tell anyone 8 years ago, lol."

    I'm also a bit weirded out by the whole sketching Kakashi's team perfectly despite never seeing them. I don't even know what to think of that other than the author might be giving Naruto some crazy new power. Huh.

    Edit 2:

    I am finding myself annoyed that the author feels the need to info dump basic Naruto trivia on me time and time again while also getting things like the fact that they had to cross the ocean, not a lake, to get to Wave wrong. I can reread the manga for the thousandth time if I want to fact check, but if you're going to throw it in my face then at least be consistent and correct.

    Edit 3:

    Finished reading the 14 chapters posted, which already says a lot about the quality of this story. Haven't done that in a long time. Having said that, I find I have a sort of love/hate relationship with this story. The idea is novel and the author does a good job of writing a blind Naruto. The characterizations seem pretty good, and I enjoy this version of Sasuke.

    Now to the bad. I don't understand the author's reasoning for keeping Naruto's secret so long. I think what it boils down to Naruto and Sasuke almost completely distancing from capable adults in their lives. Sarutobi seems to be nowhere to be found, so I assume he doesn't have as close a relationship with Naruto as he does in canon. I can somewhat understand Naruto's reluctance to reveal his blindness before become a genin since his fears that he might not be allowed to attend/graduate from the academy are not entirely unfounded. However, once he makes it on to Kakashi's team and gains a capable and knowledgeable adult figure in his life, I don't see a need for him to keep up the facade of having sight. In fact it is dangerous to himself and others. The seeming lack of trust in adults isn't only limited to his blindness either. He knows full well that Orochimaru placed a seal on him yet he says nothing, which I find ridiculous. Especially since Sarutobi could unseal it in about 3 seconds if he knew there was an issue.

    Why doesn't Naruto explain that he's been blind nearly nine years after he gets his eyes cut out? It could only support his claims that he's not crippled. There is absolutely no reason not to come out with the truth at this point.

    Finally, I don't think that Naruto's characterization is consistent. He's portrayed as brash and impulsive much like canon in many ways with a significantly better mind on him. That's 95% of the time. The other 5% of the time he's unnecessarily clingy or having a panic attack. Seriously, he should not be falling to pieces out of nowhere after choosing all those years ago to become a ninja (why?) and then still have such crippling episodes. If Naruto were serious about becoming a ninja then that sort of issue should have been resolved by now. I don't want to read a story about Naruto blowing up half a forest fighting Orochimaru and getting his eyes cut out like it's no big thing who then turns into a sniveling mess just because Kabuto of all people smells like snakes. snakessnakessnakes. God, how terrifying.

    So basically Naruto is being held captive in a hospital hopped up on meds for no reason other than he doesn't want to tell people how exceptionally competent he is even with his disability.

    I am frustrated.
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2010
  6. Censure

    Censure First Year

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    It's definitely frustrating, and I think/hope that it's SUPPOSED to be. Naruto has a complex about trusting adults in this story, and it's making him act in a stupid way. If I read it as a flaw in the character rather than the author presenting it as the logical and correct choice, then it becomes a lot more palatable for me.

    His reasons for not telling are being systematically eliminated, so I'll give the author credit and assume that it's leading up to the big reveal. If it doesn't, then yeah, that's just going to be annoying.
     
  7. Fenraellis

    Fenraellis Chief Warlock

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    An excellent analysis, Howdy, and quite honestly rather similar to what my own thoughts are.

    Although I'll quickly point out that I'm pretty sure the drawing of Kakashi's teammates was supposed to be reflective of his 'ink-reading' skills somehow from when he stole a bunch of stuff during the Bell Test. Among the stolen objects was a picture of Kakashi's team if I remember right.

    As for my numerical review, I'll give it a wavering four out of five. We'll see what happens in upcoming chapters, hopefully sooner rather than later, I suppose, eh?
     
  8. Kari Black

    Kari Black DA Member

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    It hasn't been fully revealed how he was blinded. However from what I remember (I went and checked--it's in Ch.7), Sasuke didn't manage to keep it from everyone. Itachi knew, and taught them how to hide it. Which puts the whole "not trusting the adults" thing into better perspective (even if Itachi wasn't exactly an adult--close enough) after the clan massacre. Someone they they trusted, and who knew had betrayed them before so they would be even more skittish. It does make why they aren't telling a little more palatable. However, Kakashi really should have worked it out by now--he's being ridiculously dense. I'm more frustrated with the people around them than the boys.
     
  9. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    It seems to me that Itachi did Naruto a horrible disservice putting ideas in Naruto's head of becoming a great ninja and never revealing to anyone that the kid was disabled, nor helping him remedy it in any other way than showing him how to hide his blindness.
     
  10. Kari Black

    Kari Black DA Member

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    Yeah, I can see your point although I didn't really think of it like that before. We don't know what was going on in Itachi's head at that point either...
     
  11. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    Well he certainly had ample opportunity to spill Naruto's secret to powerful and sympathetic characters, but didn't. Simply dropping that bomb on Sarutobi after begging Sasuke's life would have probably been enough to get Naruto some help.

    Meh, it is what it is.
     
  12. Onii

    Onii Slug Club Member

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    I gotta say i love the use of memos in this fic. lol
     
  13. Jolina

    Jolina Squib

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    5/5

    I have to agree the memos are great...
     
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