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Abandoned With a Forked Tongue I Lie in Wait by DelusionalGrandeur - M

Discussion in 'Review Board' started by stayintheloop, Dec 29, 2017.

  1. stayintheloop

    stayintheloop First Year

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2016
    Messages:
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    Title: With a Forked Tongue I Lie in Wai
    Author: DelusionalGrandeur
    Rating: M
    Genre: Drama
    Status: Abandoned
    Library Category: AU, Slytherin!Harry
    Pairings: Harry/Hermione
    Summary: Warnings Inside. Dumbledore ought to have known better than to leave an orphaned Harry Potter in the hands of the Dursleys. A twist of fate has the boy-who-lived living with criminals. Sly, cunning, street-smart, sorted into Slytherin where his housemates have been raised to hate him, will Harry survive? Or maybe it's the House of Snakes that doesn't stand a chance.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8746563/1/With-a-Forked-Tongue-I-Lie-in-Wait-Taming-Snakes

    The narrative of the story is quite descriptive; the characters are by no means one dimensional. This aspect is immediately experienced in the first chapter. The chapter does not start from Harry's perspective, rather with one of the criminals that comes to decided his fate. Original Characters are unique, feel real in their emotions and motivations, and the author has clear motives throughout the story; child abuse being the most present one. Not only is the story touching, it's also quite funny. This is what sold the story for me. The switch from real emotion to excitement and laughter in a moment is what made it entertaining to read.

    As far as the canon-characters are concerned, it leaves things to be desired. Harry is far more capable and skillfull than he should be at eleven, even when raised among criminals. Dumbledore is portrayed as blind, naive and cold, which I do not believe him to be. Lucius Malfoy is also wildly out of character, I myself found this rather amusing, instead of irritating.

    The grievances where canon-compliance is concerned listed above did not bother me, and as such I enjoyed the story immensely. I can imagine, however, that some readers may find it off-putting. I would still recommend giving the story a chance.
     
  2. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2014
    Messages:
    303
    This is a really odd story as far as I'm concerned. The writing is quite good, the characters, especially Harry, have actual depth and weaknesses, at times, it's pretty funny and Harry definitely kicks ass.
    Harry is not quite relatable, but interesting, and some of the problems the author talks about (How do you raise a child that's been severely abused for the slightest infractions without making it seem like they can do everything without being "really" punished) are well-shown and believable.

    And yet, it's just so contrived. Nearly every single scene in this fic needs some ridiculous plot device or some extreme OOC behaviour to happen.
    The Dursleys are evil beyond belief. Dumbledore is ... well, utter bullshit, Manipulative!Dumbledore crap of the worst kind (which isn't that big a problem at the beginning, but later ... ugh). Harry/James comes across as far too old, in terms of experience, but also in terms of ability. At least in most scenes. Lucius Malfoy is utterly ridiculed, which is funny and at times Crack-ish, but this story is tagged as drama, and seems to be meant to be taken seriously, especially after the start of Hogwarts.
    At Hogwarts, we're introduced to stupid "Slytherin rules" that seem to originate from the mafia and the Slytherins want to kill Harry from the first night onwards, which is a bit extreme to say the least.
    Some scenes, especially with Snape (after he isn't called "batman" anymore, and yes, that's a thing), are ok, but most of the time it's somewhere between "oh, this is somewhat strange, but cool fun" (Harry's excuse for not having his transfiguration homework) and "godDAMMIT how does anyone think this is a good idea?!" (Lucius Malfoy actually groping Harry in order to find out whether he's a boy).

    Harry generally gets away with everything far too easily.

    Oh, and did I mention the scene where the narration basically tells the reader that you have to spank a child sometimes if you love him? I mean ... WTF?!

    Despite the tremendous loads of bullshit the reader has to deal with, this story is somewhat enjoyable and doesn't deserve a rating below 3/5.
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2017
  3. Agni

    Agni Second Year

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2012
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    Male
    Location:
    Bharat
    Yes, that is about it. The characters are sometimes so over the top and sometimes so.....lame. The plot itself is nothing exceptional. Just read it if you have nothing better to do(that was what I did).....2/5.
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2017