WIP Within Interest - Silent Songbird [Naruto] - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by crimson sun06, Feb 11, 2018.

  1. crimson sun06

    crimson sun06 Unspeakable

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    Title: Within Interest
    Author: Silent Songbird
    Genre: Adventure
    Rating: M
    Status: WIP (37k words)
    Fandom: Naruto
    Characters: Naruto, Ino
    Pairing: Undetermined
    Summary: "Don't lie to him" Shikamaru felt the need to say, "He's observant". Ino felt her nose rumple in disbelief. "Is he?" she frowned, wondering if the Nara was joking. "Since when?" "Since always." He paused. "Especially with things that catch his interest."

    Link
    : https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12438633/1/Within-Interest

    Remember those fanfics where Naruto is a hidden genius pretending to be an idiot hiding his skills secretly ANBU or a diabolical villain plotting the downfall of his village/world?

    This is not one of them.

    In one of the best moments of the fic, the author goes out of his way to blatantly mock the trope and you cannot help but nod along while suppressing your chuckles.

    The humour is the strongest aspect of the story by far and just about avoids going over crack-territory. Iruka in particular is hilarious.

    Another thing I like about the fic is how it never is told from Naruto's point of view. It is mostly people reacting to Naruto, so we are never sure what is actually going on in his head. Is he secretly a genius pretending to be an idiot or an idiot who has no idea he is secretly a genius?

    One way or the other it promises to be a great ride.

    4/5
     
  2. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

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    4/5 for an interesting premise and decent writing.

    +1 for okay execution of Naruto's characterization, and not seeing things from his perspective.

    +1 for "Hello sorry, I'm Tenten - Get ready to eat pointy metal!"

    -1 for 'Hai' on otherwise English speech.

    -1 for 'Nani?' on otherwise English speech.

    -1 for 'Gomen' immediately after a normal 'Sorry', on otherwise English speech.

    -1 for publicly discussing during class about Ino turning down Naruto.

    -1 for Naruto actually taking the hat from Hiruzen as an Academy Student

    I'd take out more for Ino's characterization, but this'll do.
    -1 for Ino's characterization

    -1 for actually trying to make an argument that the Academy is legit useless
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2018
  3. Seyllian

    Seyllian Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    So your score is -1/5?
     
  4. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

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    That's the score in my mind.
     
  5. crimson sun06

    crimson sun06 Unspeakable

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    I actually like Ino's characterization in this. Nothing groundbreaking, but not exactly what you would call a story-killer either.
    The story doesn't make an argument about the Academy being useless, quite the opposite as a matter of fact as it lays quite a bit of emphasis on the fact that Iruka is a good teacher and what he teaches is important, its just that Naruto has an aversion to it, which is, I believe, your reason for assuming the story is shitting on the Academy.

    Yeah that was retarded.
     
  6. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Recall that she's supposed to be; what? Eleven?

    Yeah, and Iruka burning the Academy textbook was not at all a validation of Naruto's 'if only they'd actually teach us useful things' whinging.

    Come off it. The story says that teachers are important, but they're going about it all wrong. All on Naruto's word. Because of course.
     
  7. crimson sun06

    crimson sun06 Unspeakable

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    Well, till we get the next chapter we do not really know how that is going to play out. Since from the looks of it Iruka is having a breakdown of sorts and it really is more likely he is going to end up regretting doing it.
    --- Post automerged ---
    Ino maturing had a decent enough set-up and she still is plenty impulsive and flawed even with that bit of development. So, once again, I thought it was actually done well.
     
  8. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    The best and most frustrating aspect of this fic. I didn't really dig this. For what it was, its decent, but there are many issues, which I felt Republic pointed out in his own way.

    Would I rec this to someone else? No, probably not. But it killed time.

    Over all 2/5
     
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