I'm absolutely giddy.

The Ball Roles, by Zaara the Black.

I don't really know where to begin.

The story starts with Harry and Parvati at the Yule Ball. Unlike canon however, this Harry is uber suave, dancing up a storm before impressing everyone with his debonair and devil-may-care witticisms.

Well... Harry/Parvati ship by the looks of it. Could be worse I suppose. But wait! A plot twist rivaling anything we've seen before.

Damn, guess not. No worries though, Hermione (pissed at Krum for being so selfish all evening) sees Parvati sitting on her Harry's lap, and thus defeats the evil bitch. Harry, in what is actually a fairly accurate portrayal of a fourteen year old boy, is pissed both with Parvati for trying to potion his ass, and Hermione for cockblocking Harry's first real chance to score.

Harry goes outside, where he fortuitously runs into this:

I think it's safe to say what the final ship is.


Now we see a favorite peeve of mine - the craptastic foreign accent. I like a girl a little exotic, but Fleur here leaves much to be desired.

She says 'Zits' several more times throughout her speech. She even managed to turn 'is' into Zits. Impressive.


Naturally, Harry beats the shit out of Roger, everyone shows up, Fleur's father (7'4" beast of a chap) and mother thanks him, and everyone goes on their way. Oh, and Snape says he's proud of Harry, and that he finally sees he is his mother's child. They even have a proper sit down and discussion about it all in Chapter 3. All in a day's work.


It will come as no surprise then that Fleur soonafter recognizes Harry as her mate.


Of course, this doesn't sit well with Dumbledore, who after giving 100 thousand galleons to Davis the would-be rapist and telling him to become a fugative (Dumbledore's spy in the Ravenclaw house, obviously) he then ponders on how to get Harry back with (surprise) Ginny or... Daphne Greengrass or Tracey Davis. Turns out, both families are also puppets of Dumbledore's, and conveniently enough they both turn up in Harry's life soon after. Course, in reality they appear to really be smitten with Harry, and no doubt will form his outer harem in the later chapters.


The rest of it isn't worth going through point by point. So instead, I'll just leave you with this one final glorious snippet, as well as a link to peruse this gem at your own risk.

Common typo. Happens to me all the time.

 

The Naruto bit was hilarious.

Read it. It was bad but it could been far worse, at least it was lulzy.

From Chapter 3:

:awesome

 

All I can say is wow, just wow.

When I got to the part about the author calling Naruto, I stopped.

What's even worse is the reviews for this story.

 

It was the typos in the summary that got me. Never got past the first chapter. 'smiple' and 'Wesley'

 

I didn't read the story, but I did read its reviews. There are a few people who call the author on how bad it is, but most of them are like this:

It makes my eyes bleed. Why do FFN reviewers always sound so dumb? There can only be so many 5-year-olds with computer access and the will to review Harry Potter fanfiction, so maybe it's all one person with twenty thousand screen names. A grand conspiracy of dumb reviews.

Dear god. I don't even want to imagine that.

I have to admit, though, that the Naruto slip-up is pretty lulzy, even if it's also utter fail.:awesome

 

I can almost understand the Naruto mistake. I mean, yeah, the person should have caught it, but more than once, while I've been reading an Evangelion fic, I'll think I saw the word "Harry" in place of "Shinji."

 

I am dying from humor, you can hear my laughter streaming on the world wide web right. now.

Oh yeah I have also seen that happen where you see Harry instead of Naruto in Disobedient writers fics.

 

I want to see someone totally fuck up their story by changing fandoms completely, instead of just one measly wrong character being used.

 

Ug, I was actually writing a Naruto story before I started my hp one, and I was really afraid of doing that. You spend so much time trying to get inside your main character's head, it seems like it could be easy to forget who's eyes you're looking out from. Which is why I haven't touched my other story in so long, haha.

 

I too played the 'check the reviews game'
Saw these gems:

The first is amusing, the second confusing. I dont understand how someone can get three chapters through this before declaring that one more mistake filled chapter will end it for him...

 

This is more evidence that we desperately need a Fanfiction Czar with the power to revoke creative licences.

I nominate myself.

 

Wow, when people can´t be arsed to write a language we understand for at least the first few inches of the story then it´s bad...

 

Bad but definitely not worst. I mean, it has a plot.

 

Thus qualifying it as a 'story'. Barely.

 

I find that the bigger the fanbase, the more people are fucking retarded enough to give shitty reviews

 

Vlad, by consensus from long before, THIS, is by far, the worst fanfiction ever: http://www.tuxedojack.com/godawful/nauseating/oscarfics/a_lover.txt

 

MY EYES! MY EYES!

Seriously though, wow. I've thought I've seen the worst but that may just top it.

 

I don't know why I read more than two sentences of that but I did. Apparently the cat has the hability to talk.

This isn't the worst though. I once read something that had abortions in it...it belongs in s&p.

 

This post of mine won't be constructive. At all. You have been warned. Seriously. You have.

All the people who managed to read that story, you deserve a medal for your courage. Sirius-sly. I have a long way to go until my stomach is as DLP-y as yours.

P.S. I am going to lurk some more now

 

That was lulzy...

Now I must go drown myself in brain-bleach...Goodbye cruel world!