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  1. Mrriddler
    Post

    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Posted ch. 16 on ff.net. Here's the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2723114/16/
    Post by: Mrriddler, Jul 9, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  2. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Probably, but some things fit better while others things however interesting don't. He don't, but then the story loses a lot of the HP feel and possibly many interesting scenes I could write. I'm hoping that Harry's fifth year would be much more interesting than OotP. Plus, there's a realistic reason (plotwise). The possibility of transfering to Beauxbatons is now out as Harry would be much more adverse to staying in France than to stay at Hogwarts. And going elsewhere would be...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Jul 8, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  3. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Have to do some stuff with Voldemort, Dumbledore, and maybe ministry and some other people as well have Harry come up with a game plan for the school year. Then it will be off to Hogwarts. I haven't forgotten, but my chapters have a habit of growing by themselves. I think I'm getting better at trimming them though.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Jul 7, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  4. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    None taken. You could be very well right. Glad you liked the plot though. As for doc_gerbil's comment, you might be on something. I did try to draw inspiration from the more popular anime/hentai writers. Hmm, I guess I succeeded, at least partly. :P Thank you Duke of Rothwood. No "backstabbers" here indeed, though a few tried to convince me otherwise.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Jun 24, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  5. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    It's different. What you speak of is an intellectual exercise AKA won't happen. If facing death a male veela will instinctively feed off of the energy/life force of his girls to keep himself alive. Only when his reserves (of girls) are exhausted would he himself be vulnerable to death. So Harry, in theory, would be a "immortal" but in a very limited sense. Think of it as a perverse version of the Horcruxes. But see, Harry can't actually go "oh darn, baddie X has one of my girls. I'll be a...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Jun 16, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  6. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Meant to do this earlier. Kept forgetting. Hehe. Well, normally I would do what you just said, but I happen to have plans for both the princess (maybe distant, maybe sooner) and for the part about the bond. That's why the result seems unsatisfactory for now. IndoGhost: Yeah, no succubus for now... touche. *shrugs* I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks :). It'll hopefully be more normal after now.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Jun 16, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  7. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    If you put it that way, I can't answer that now can I? First question is answered in the first line of that scene. As for the others, well a few were pretty obvious so me going over them would be redundent I thought. I.e. leader part and Comtesse getting the green light. The others just don't seem very crucial to me that I need to rehash them. The # of veela and mechanics of the "enslavement plan" was meant to set the mood (i.e. Harry's freedom was in danger) rather than to be some...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Jun 13, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  8. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Not polishing to do apparently. Ch. 15 is up. Indo: No succubus. Sorry. Couldn't get it to fit. Despite the recent spat of sexually violent stories by *cough* Yar *cough* Vashy *cough*, I managed to keep rape out of it. If that disappoint anyone then consider this: Which explosion is more impressive, the one in which pressure is released as soon as it's formed, or the one in which pressure builds up over a period of time, seething and aggregating under the surface.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Jun 12, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  9. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Yes on the fighting thing and de Noire tactic. I'll work on the fighting sequences. I doubt it'll ever be that heavy in the future. Hmm, I believe so, but it's more from putting pieces of my plot together than anything. I don't think I enjoy quite the same parts that my readers like. I for one never reread the smuts I wrote. You jumped the gun, my friend. I'll get to that. Yes, it is a big vulnerability for Harry, but I needed to show that there is a negative side to his nature....
    Post by: Mrriddler, May 21, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  10. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Mehe... that's really funny only in the sense that they are supposed to be polar enemies in public. Punishment? I'm trying to come up with something suitable and semi-believable. As for the rest, some of the questions should be covered in the next two chapters. But no one will actually know the specifics. It's very hush-hush... in a black ops kind of way. Democable, it should be. Welcome to DLP btw. Regine's arm wasn't technically gone. The bones, cartelieges, ligaments were all...
    Post by: Mrriddler, May 20, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  11. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    I think I have a very unique way of making Comtesse de Noire suffer in the future even though she's dead. :P But yeah, she went down pretty fast. Most people enjoyed the bond tactic she used. Succubus...comes in next chapter I think. It won't be what you expect, but should be interesting. That was what I meant. Mature = grown up/humorous serious topics like Harry politiking, shadow playing governments. I know what you like. I don't know why I said mature given its obvious connotation....
    Post by: Mrriddler, May 20, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  12. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Hehe, I knew some of the more mature readers would get a kick out of that. I was smiling when I wrote most of the scenes. Just realized how true your comment about RL was. I probably should have given it to Comtesse de Noire a bit more, but the story would have been too bloated. If by steam, you mean ideas? I got plenty of that and they relate back to canon HP too. But as for how fast I'll write... eh we'll see. You are right, it was repetitive, but then it was either that or he...
    Post by: Mrriddler, May 19, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  13. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Nah. I should clear it up now. The veela have their own autonomous zones. Wizarding governments are manned mostly by males. Use your imagination to figure that out. :P The French ministry and everyone else have zero info on what's happening. It's all hush-hush. Glad you liked it. Gwen and Lavender? Hmm, you'll need to guess.
    Post by: Mrriddler, May 19, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  14. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    I wanted to include him earlier, but that would have been just confusing. Ch. 13 is posted on ff.net btw. I wanted to do more with the comtesse (comtesse=Duchess), but I wanted to close it up quick. PS: Would you mind pasting your reviews on ff.net as well will you so my IQ doesn't drop when I go check for my story's comments. :P
    Post by: Mrriddler, May 19, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  15. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Much obliged mid. :) I think people here will enjoy what I have planned once I tie off some of the veela loose ends. Ch. 15 will feature a very important piece of Voldemort's coming masterplan.
    Post by: Mrriddler, May 19, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  16. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Three words... what the fuck? O-o On topic: Ch. 13 is still at betas. =.= I sent it out like 5 am this morning.
    Post by: Mrriddler, May 19, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  17. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Finally finished ch. 13. I clocked it at 14k words as I sent it for editing. Hmm...based on everyone's opinions, I don't think I made the duchess/comtesse (changed her title) suffer enough. It was towards the end and I was getting pretty lazy. I'll see if I can do anything about it later.
    Post by: Mrriddler, May 18, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  18. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    I'll try to keep at it then. Well, it would be a stretch for Harry to be killing girls (provided I'm doing that) not much older than him if they didn't do anything extreme now wouldn't it? :twisted: That makes me smile. Sure no pressure. 8) I might add in flashbacks later if need be to enhance the plot, but yeah the sex was rushed. Tear throats, he, that's interesting, though Harry would need to grow pretty long claws for that and you been saying that for 3-4 chapters I think. :P
    Post by: Mrriddler, Apr 25, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  19. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Still working on that. I'm keeping their stances to be roughly canon which means they will definitely not support Harry all the way but I don't want to resort to pointless Ron/Hr bashing. Harry is not really going to get an 'attitude' so much as that he's not going to be as ideologically pure or innocent as Ron or god forbid Hermione. So take for example, if Harry learns that Merlin, the founding father of modern magic, committed horrendous atrocities against non-humans or that Gryffindor...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Apr 24, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  20. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Thanks. You are definitely right on that. Will change that immedaitely. Thanks The Duchess will definitely get her due to be sure. No forgiving Harry for me. My motto is "2 eyes for an eye and a row of teeth for a tooth." :twisted: Well, if Harry doesn't go back to Hogwarts at all, it would kind of defeat much of the point of the story. And he's actually going to be safer in Britain than anything else. *Hint* What these veela are trying to do (stealing his freedom) is probably...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Apr 23, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  21. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Uploaded 12, how's this ppl. It's closer to the kind of stuff I wanted to write, and the climax is next chapter.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Apr 23, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  22. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Yeah. They are supposedly loading the stories from the archieves to the new site. The new author page for the story is actually http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296789058 but it's empty as they haven't moved the HP stories yet. I'll ask IP to change the address. In the meantime, I have posted the latest up to date chapters at Ficwad: http://www.ficwad.com/viewuser.php?uid=6593
    Post by: Mrriddler, Apr 21, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  23. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    right fixed that. As for the 3rd task yeah. Timewise, I'm pretty sure I got it right. I made the time between ch1 and the end of the school year to be just shy of a month. 6 chapters might have been a bit much I guess.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Apr 19, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  24. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    I'm actually not sure what you mean by that, though several people said the same I think. It just looked as if anything else I add would have been regurgitation of the canon book. Oo...I realized that could be a long while. I haven't even gotten to Voldemort's machinations or Dumbledore yet...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Apr 14, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  25. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    What you see is what you get, pretty much. I added a little later to try to smooth between 10 and 11. I didn't want to write a whole series of exchanges about getting Harry into France. You are right, but there'll be plentiful reasons as to why the veela might value their secrecy, I hope. I'm trying to hammer out the veela's desire for secrecy even as they are arguably most visible while in public.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Mar 31, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  26. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    That was the movie... but I thought for sure that they wore something red... MysterioX, I had the beginning of that planned for this chapter. But the Duchess wont be a pushover. :lol:
    Post by: Mrriddler, Mar 31, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  27. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    That's better than I expected then. I usually tried to write a chapter around some central issue but couldn't really find one here. Description for the veela city was last minute addition and I just copied words used to describe the archetecture of the baroque period. Kind of why I lumped it together then, since I suspected this might happen. Lavender was just the name I pulled from the hat. There is no way, I could have canonically written her role under any other Hogwarts student...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Mar 30, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  28. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Ok...the reduced ch. 11 is up. I'll say up front that this is probably the crappiest chapter I wrote thus far for this story. Very uninspired and took a whole lot of time. I know, 9, 10, 11 kind of seem pointless. At least now, I'm pretty sure there's nothing else except the actual action scenes... Mrriddler
    Post by: Mrriddler, Mar 30, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  29. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Horus Go Home is not that good at all. Just pure porn with fairly cheesy/crappy/badly laid out plot and almost unreadable writing at times... but whatever. I'm glad you liked the story so far. If it makes you feel better, think of the girls as being Harry's potential lieutenants. Not all will be frontline troops, but expect any who I keep with Harry to be able to hold their own. Actual fights are also coming up...as soon as I get my bearings. I have been away this week for conference and...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Mar 5, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  30. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    I could do that but then I lose kind of the point. Though if there is ever massive sex ritual orgies, I would summarize them instead of writing em.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 28, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  31. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Thanks. Yeah, Big D's good, if only he would post more of his stuff. Not sure I follow, though I don't think I'll dispute that claim after reading parts of Horus go home.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 27, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  32. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    More like anime porn... You don't even see that in orgies. Ah..moving on... :splatter: quiet you!!! As for the question... in like maybe week or two. The next 2 chapters are gonna be pretty key and I got my midterm grades to worry about starting this week.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 27, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  33. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Bah, I posted my lemon inclusive ch. 10 btw. Rushed it a lot so don't expect much. You can check it out at Ficward: http://www.ficwad.com/viewstory.php?sid=10277
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 26, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  34. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Ok, I shouldn't generalized blood and bodily excretions to ALL foreign sunstances. My intention had been to show that blood to blood contact b etween male veela and female veela could be dangerous if the female veela is untrustworthy. In the story, I didn't say he can't drink potions, just that the potions presumably couldn't be applied directly to the blood stream... Sorry, I didn't think this through too much. hehe, that's what Grace is going to be for. I need to eat my words...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 21, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  35. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Nope, sorry. I didn't have time to do a NC-17 yet. I'll post it on ficwad or something whenever I get to it. I'll link it from here as soon as I actually do the scene. Mrriddler
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 21, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  36. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    oh damn, man you don't know how close you are on some of the things you said. :P Ahm, we'll see. Yeah, Regine's the forward/take no nonesense/action oriented one. In fact, she exemplifies 'alpha' tendencies better than Fleur. True, Fleur's not feeling too secure right now and that's the point since she really wasn't 'meant' to be in her present position. Hopefully, I can make all this into some cohesive intra-harem plot sometime. What I intended to mean was that the male veela's...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 20, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  37. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    hmm, well, be sure to tell me if and when you don't like an update. :P There's a bit more of the Duchess next chapter, with a little more humility and humanity next chapter. Me thinks that tragic figures fall much more gracefully. Hahaha...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 20, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  38. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    That's...interesting. hmm, as well as scaring the shit out of the other girls. Ah, but succubae are switchers in my book. If you can dominate them, great, if you can't, you are gonna lose some blood and/or limbs. :twisted: Well I kind of have someone planned way, way later... Yeah, like a really good writer would know how to incorporate action there, but I was too lazy/didn't know how to add in a training fight scene as well. I'm working on how to cut right to the point in the...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 20, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  39. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    I planned a part of it long ago, but what you said, clintched it. Ah, but where would the fun and angst be if they are? Not saying they aren't conciously loyal but... you never know whether or not things might get out of hand after all. It's pretty clear something's gonna happen to the veela. Glad to hear the chapter was ok. The name will be very appropriate later on... Very good in pointing that out.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 20, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  40. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Excellent. Exactly what I was hoping for, but I can understand the impatience as well. Ch. 11 will have at least something to spice up things if not the cliffee I had dreamed up weeks ago...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 20, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  41. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    philosophical/political. There's also a lot of mechanics about veela blood...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 20, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  42. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    ah, shit...my prelimary readers pointed a problem about this chapter out...too late now. But can I ask you guys to do one thing: Tell me if that was too deep. You guys are about as deep as my readers get, so if you feel it's too much, most of my other readers would probably chuck the entire chapter... Thanks.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 20, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  43. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    lmao...I would have reacted if I didn't just go 'wha?!' and then I saw the j/k :P The next few chapters will be more plot oriented...I hope. I don't dare say for certain what will happen.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 15, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  44. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    You definitely aren't. :P
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 15, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  45. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Thanks. I'll keep that in mind Dark Syaoran.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 15, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  46. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    There were only 3 speakers the entire time: The Duchess, Lavender and the princess. I thought it was ok in terms of clarity but I'll look it over. I guess I was going for subliminal messaging so that readers have a rough idea of the important people when Harry comes. The other 5 veela all non-pureblood were just fillers basically. You actually hit on something key. I wanted to specifically make a semi-philosophical point about Lav's name. Considering it's how one identifies oneself,...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 15, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  47. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    wow, what a diverse set of responses already. That's good. She is 8. :P Definitely a possibility. 1) She's not human. That's ALL I can say without giving anything away. 2) Gabrielle seems a bit off mainly because I'm trying to portray her so that she seems different from different povs. The fact that some thought it was cute was good, cause that was my intention for the reader at this point. harsh, ppl, harsh... :P No comment on her fate but it's not hard to figure it...
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 15, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  48. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    ch.9 up. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2723114/8/ Gah... I couldn't include anything from the diary since that just would just be too confusing...sorry. Next chappy, I guess. Not much for you people, quite a bit of fluff in the beginning but the scene at the end should perk some interest.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 15, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  49. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    lol Working on that. Need to do this slow and work one plot at a time or else it'll become one hell of a mess. I have 2 different kinds of non-human creatures (3 if you count present veela) lined up at this point. It may take a while to get to that point, though. Interesting. You are the only one on that one I think. lol. I'll work on it. Thanks for the in-depth critique. Good food for thought.
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 7, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
  50. Mrriddler
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    Abandoned Secret of the Male Veela by mrriddler - R/NC17

    Andrea's 100% muggle. There's a reason why Daphne's so chummy with her. You are right. I had originally planned to include just Susan and Blaise, but decided to add in the others to set up for the future...not just for the harem thing either. I could have set up some differences, but that would have increased the chapter length by a hell lot and right now it's not important so much as what each girl is like so much as they are in the picture. Their differences will shine through later......
    Post by: Mrriddler, Feb 7, 2006 in forum: Restricted Section
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