Why do people think he's a moron again? Aurors have strict requirements for getting in and he clears them no apparent sweat.

Hold on, provoke?

Snape got told.

wow, JKR, subtle

Slughorn is continually described as really, really fat. Kinda weird.

Wonder if it has to be a silver dagger specifically. Wouldn't put it past magic.

Oh, Harry. Can't win 'em all.

Interesting that we don't learn what happened to Marvolo's wife. Probably must've not been very pretty, what happened to her.

Merope must not have become an Obscurus because she didn't deny her magic so much as it was severely stunted.

Bit unfair considering that:

1. he was raped, his reputation and mental stability ruined and forced to carry the secret of what happened to him to his grave;
2. it was the 20s or thereabouts, making it quite difficult to find his son;
3. his son went to Hogwarts and therefore had extremely little contact with the muggle world.

Poor Ron. Love interest ignores him for his best mate, reduced to showing off his scars to try and impress.

I'll miss her, honestly.
Also: last night? Why'd he let her go to school in the first place if he's so worried?

While Susan Bones' aunt dying is widely known, Hannah's mum dying is usually skipped over. Maybe because she herself is usually skipped over.

Nah, Ron. That's impossibe.

OBJECTION! They're forgetting the Floo! He'd need an accomplice in on his scheme, but that wouldn't be too difficult to arrange.

Considering the general harmlessness of these spells, the Sectumsempra is a serious escalation. (And weirdly widespread in fanfiction, now that I think about it.)

I wonder if that's the gin or the Confundus speaking. Or both.

Wow, Grindelwald got told.

I completely empathize.

So wait, butterbeer is alcoholic?

Fuck me running I hate this drama. If I have to read "the monster in his chest" one more fucking time....

Harry making Ron think he's lucky is brilliant.

Bezoar, no? You're slacking, Hermione.

Wonder why JKR decided to go with Luna as partner for Slughorn's Christmas party. Also why Contemplating Clouds is dead, because goddamnit I need good Harry/Luna.

 

Wow, great instructions, Snape. He's even better at teaching DADA than he was at teaching Potions!

Picking up Dumbledore's idea of manners, Harry?

Yes, it's very powerful. It can even make a bitter manchild devote his life to saving yours.

Slytherin's statue was described similarly. Clearly the Gaunts are very good at keeping the purity of his line.

Probably for different reasons than you thought.
Also, Marvolo clearly shares Lord!Harry's notion that the law doesn't apply to people of ancient lineages.

I'd like to know how that trial went, with Marvolo hissing in Parseltongue and wailing about his heritage. It should've caused quite a stir.

Continuing the drinking game: I'd say a drink of water doesn't count, but it's actually Amortentia. So we're at 6.

Oh joy, more Quidditch and teenage drama.

A bet with Fred and George, I bet.

7.

Pity Dumbledore didn't take you on his adventure to the Gaunt Shack, Harry.

Yes, Harry, spoil the plot.

Smooth, Dumbledore. 8.

9.

Understandable, as the Ron/Hermione plot in this book is absolutely dreary.

Seriously, does anyone give a fuck about Quidditch at this point?

10.

Oh, I don't know, Draco. You might just get hit with a Dark curse in the bathroom.

 

Chapter 9: The Half-Blood Prince

Which means that, presumably, so are the Aurors. There's been discussion about the small number/poor quality of Aurors on DLP before, but I don't recall seeing this point mentioned - how many potentially excellent Aurors haven't been able to join because Snape wouldn't teach them?

So, what do we think Ron smells of?

Nope, we're saving that for a N.E.W.T exam, after the cartwheeling eggcup at O.W.L.

Chapter 10: The House of Gaunt

Ok, Obi-Wan.

The obvious meaning/joke aside, there's an implication here that using the Pensieve with permission offers a different experience somehow, but there's no evidence of that afterwards.

Chapter 11: Hermione's Helping Hand

First of all, why? The reason given in DADA is the element of surprise in a duel, but while Charms and Transfiguration obviously have their uses in combat, that's presumably not a focus of the subject academically. What benefit does it have for those two subjects? Unless it's just seen as the mark of a talented wizard, and Hogwarts expects certain standards.
Second, For all that people rag on Snape for his teaching, there's no indication that Flitwick or McGonaall are doing anything more than he does to teach non-verbal casting.

Communication is a two-way street, Harry.

I thought first years couldn't be on the team? That was a thing in PS, right?

Chapter 12: Silver and Opals

There's a certain irony in the fact that it isn't until Harry gets Snape's personal grimoire that he starts acting like James.

Actually, all joking aside, between this, Ron pinching a younger students (confiscated) Fanged Frisbee and his tendency to turf people out of chairs so he can have them, and Hermione's tendency towards pettiness, all three of the trio come out of this book looking a little shitty.

That's quite some distance, given that Ernie is sitting at least a table away. Maybe Ron should be a Chaser.

Chapter 13 The Secret Riddle

Pride aside - and I know this has probably been discussed elsewhere on the site - but how come the Weasleys don't take advantage of this?

Chapter 14: Felix Felicis

You absolute hypocrite!

Chapter 15: The Unbreakable Vow

Bezoar?

...so wait, they're not the magical equivalent of a date-rape drug?

But the library has already closed. Lessons presumably finish around 4, and they've already had dinner - call that an hour, on average - so that doesn't leave much time for using the library of an evening.

Ooh-er, missus.

 

IIRC, McGonagall mentions in OOTP that the aurors haven't taken anyone new for three years - presumably Tonks was the last. Though it could also be that after Voldemort's fall, there wasn't a need for that many aurors anymore.