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WIP Grow Young With Me by Taliesin19 - T

Discussion in 'Romance' started by Steelbadger, Oct 8, 2015.

  1. Miner

    Miner Order Member

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    I've never read Twilight, and probably won't, but I don't think Abby here falls under bland and undefined. The author strives to make her different with her personality and there's little snippets here and there about her past that is, I presume, subtly painting a picture of her life.

    I should point out that I may be biased/have more info. on her specifically than most of you because the author has been posting random facts on her characters (Abby mostly) on her tumblr.

    I totally should've rechecked this thread...
     
  2. Miner

    Miner Order Member

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    Updated.

    We finally get what I presume to be the full story behind Abby's family and the phone call and letters from earlier are explained. It's.. I don't want to say it's standard, but it certainly seems like it's a common sort of family differences that leads to estrangement. But it still tugged at my heartstrings, just a little bit.

    We also get Drunk!Harry, which made me laugh a little. While I didn't think that that would be the way that Harry discovers Abby's attraction, in hindsight it was probably fairly obvious that there wasn't a way for Harry to say anything that could be construed as attraction towards her unless he was drunk. And if Harry never said anything Abby would definitely not say anything.

    The funeral scene is excellent, especially the kids. I continue to be impressed by how real the story is. The kids made me remember myself visiting my grandparents' grave when I was younger, how I didn't have anything to say but I felt like I should, and there's simultaneously a million things you want to say and a million reasons not to. Hard to explain, really.

    Mostly solid chapter. Very much enjoyed a few of the scenes, although the Ginny angst feels a little over-the-top.
     
  3. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I'll admit I've never seen Ginny's full name be 'Ginevra' before.
     
  4. Miner

    Miner Order Member

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    ...Really?

    I feel like I remember Molly yelling "Ginevra Molly Weasley" a lot.
     
  5. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    It's always been 'Ginerva', whenever I see it.

    Also, as for the chapter, it's all just one huge eyeroll. I'm not even going to talk about the phonecall, probably one the most lazy things I have ever seen put in writing. Wait, I just talked about it. Fuck.

    You mean to tell me that the impossibly cheerful and hyperactive character was actually hiding a painful past that still tears her apart to this day? Gasp! That is so out of the left field! Who could've seen that coming?
     
  6. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    Well it's a new update. :facepalm And I didn't feel like the story went anywhere because of it either. Twenty four chapters and things are still beating around the goddamn bush, and now we have Abby's emo to deal with as well.
     
  7. Miner

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    Personally, predictable doesn't equate to a poor story.

    Sure, it's a trope. Sure it's been done before. Sure we saw it coming from like chapter 6.

    But it's not as if it was bad. At least I didn't see it that way.
     
  8. Miner

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    I personally think that the second half of the chapter was better than the first.

    The way that Abby kind of discovers magic is wonderful, although there were a couple moments that I frowned and maybe had to take with a grain of salt. Overall, the whole Muggle meets Wizarding World thing is done a lot better than the (rather limited) other find that have attempted it.

    I don't buy the way the Muggle-Repelling Charm dispelled though. I feel like it's a barrier rather than a specific action (opening the front gates). I did appreciate the mechanism behind the spell where the world distorts and reforms into reality, I think I like that interpretation rather than just having everything change instantaneously in the moment you cross the line or whatever.

    Solid return after over a year IMO.
     
  9. Nevermind

    Nevermind Headmaster

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    Woohoo! I‘ll probably have to read some of the older chapters first to get back into the swing of things, but this is a nice surprise to end my day.

    When I‘m up to speed I‘ll also type up a review. From my year-old recollection, it was somewhere in 3.5-4/5 territory.
     
  10. Donimo

    Donimo Auror

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    I liked the way the magic worked, it was very in line with what we've seen with Harry finding the Leaky Cauldron only after Hagrid points it out.
     
  11. RileyA

    RileyA Squib

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    I really want to give this a high rating, because the writer has an excellent writing style. They have a knack for not having unnecessary details (they do not do purple prose), and their dialogue seems much more well thought out than many stories I've read. In fact, they have quite a talent for it. The plot alone is extremely interesting in that it could work as "any" magical man meets non-magical woman tale. The slow burn romance aspect is also absolutely (so far) expertly done.

    All of this being said, I can't give it a particularly perfect rating because I really like to feel the emotion of characters. This story is good, but there's something about the segments with Harry interacting with his children and when he is at work that honestly bore me. (I have pushed through despite this and read the whole thing.) Unfortunately I really have to grind my teeth to read those parts and am always tempted to just skip to Abby and Harry's parts.
    There is a segment (a full chapter) that details the death of his wife, however I felt literally nothing while reading it.
    The writing is honestly great, but it lacks the emotional draw of stories that really stick with me. It may be that the writer just has trouble with death scenes.

    Bearing this in mind, the writer has a great talent for portraying the long term effects of grief. I think this may be one of the best fanfictions I've ever read in that aspect.

    As for the OC...we are 25 chapters in and we still have very little idea of what the OC actually looks like beyond brown hair and blue eyes. I feel like theres something a bit odd about that. While I saw others mentioning the OC seemed annoying I would say they are at least realistic (let's be honesy...we've all met someone we absolutely hated at first only for them to grow on us).

    The part that I simply can't get over is how 'pathetic' the OC is where Harry is concerned. This stems from two parts...
    the first is when Harry tells her she's not "real" to him and she takes it completely calmly. I personally think any person with a shred of self dignity would have either decked him or walked away. The OC though, who until now has had self respect, does not do either of these things and the only explanation is to keep the plot going. The second instance occurs when he "doesn't" invite her to his birthday. The OC storms off because she needs dignity with him, but as soon as he goves a poor apology everything is perfect again? That bugged me.

    All of this being said, Harry does redeem himself eventually (I won't give a spoiler), but Abby's character just seems a little inconsistent by then.

    Overall this story is well written and has great dialogue. However, it lacks the emotional pull where the wife's death is concerned and I get bored with the parts not directly involving Harry and Abby interacting. It's a good story but just missing something I can't quite put my finger on. The writer is very talented though, so I give this a 3/5.
     
  12. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Grow Young with Me has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 26
    Words: 215,914
    Updated: 2019-02-20 09:21:13 UTC
    Published: 2015-03-14 07:30:39 UTC
    Previously updated: 9 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  13. Miner

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    This was a pretty awkward chapter. I found myself shaking my head at a couple of the interactions between the characters at the wedding. Abby and Harry simultaneously felt awkward and for the first time I felt like they stepped out of their character borders.

    It wasn't a bad chapter by any means, but for the first time since I started reading the story, I didn't finish the chapter in one sitting.
     
  14. Zansa

    Zansa Fourth Year

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    I didn't like this chapter. I stopped halfway through and don't intend to pick it back up, I may read next chapter to see if it gets back on track but this felt like a different story. Harry and Abby both talked and acted like awkward teenagers hanging out with their crush. That's fine and can be enjoyable to read, but it is very OOC for both of them and I couldn't help but feel the author may have lost her grip on the story during the long intermission between chapters.
     
  15. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Read it in one sitting. Didn't like Abby at first but she gradually became less annoying and in the last third I've actually found her to be an interesting character with actual value to the story for the first time.

    What's not being said enough is how good her characterisation is. All, the weasleys and Hermione are convincing and the background OCs never feel anything but natural.

    4/5
     
  16. Donimo

    Donimo Auror

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    Yes I love this story, it's the best interpretation I've ever seen of the trio as adults. The scene where we see how Hermione prepped their house with a hundred notes because she was away for work was fantastic.
     
  17. Niez

    Niez Competition Winner CHAMPION ⭐⭐

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    I enjoyed the story, I really did; it has some nice qualities to it and I'm glad it's not abandoned. That being said the amount of torture the author subjects Harry's character to is ridiculous. What else is going to go wrong? Is Hermione going to be run over by a bus in front of him while he is out eating ice cream with his children? A lot of the events/conflict in this story feel incredibly contrived, only there to add angst to an already pretty angsty story (I'm looking at you Quill of Acceptance). Also, I don't know how I am supposed to believe that anyone would be able to find out - or even care- that Harry told some random muggle about magic (particularly since he is the Head Auror, and the boy-who-lived - two reasons for the price of one).

    I realize I am being a bit facile, but when the main conflict feels artificial it really detracts from the rest of the story. I felt Ginny's accident and its ramification for the characters to be much more believable, to give a bit of contrast.

    All in all, 3/5 - tugs at the ol' heartstring from time to time, feels competently written.

    (Though seriously, if the author happens to read this; don’t go overboard with the drama, it really wasn’t needed for your story to be interesting, and it can create reader fatigue. Also, well done on your first/second(?) fic, far far better than many a try.)
     
  18. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    In the time since I've read this I've come back to thinking about it repeatedly. So much so that I've had to give it another read. Unpopular opinion... This is the best romance in the fandom.

    I have a general dislike and distrust of OCs and that lead to me treating the start of this story with a certain amount of scepticism. That's fine too because most OCs are trash but this is different.

    The quality in which she's written Abby becomes clear when you take a step back. There's a scene where Abby comes to Harry's house and he has his hands full with his kids so she decides to make dinner.

    She doesn't start an internal dialogue pitying the poor single dad and he doesn't complain. They both accept that it's just a run of the mill part of his day to day life and there's no drama.

    The author could have easily run with a more heavily dramatic theme through the course of the story but it would have been lesser for it.

    5/5
     
  19. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

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    I suddenly got a theory reading this chapter.

    The reason Albus is so afraid of manifesting accidental magic (as revealed in this latest chapter) is because the last time he did it, Ginny died. So he's both consciously and subconsciously repressing it.

    Thoughts?
     
  20. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    It's certainly more appealing than the angle where he's being made a squib solely to bond with Abby.