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Old 01-02-2017, 03:00 AM   #21
Zafar
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I hate to necro a thread (especially because I'm probably not going to review it), but considering portkey is dead, does anyone know of a way to read this? I've heard it called "one of the best h/hr stories" a couple times, but not even archive.org can bring it up. If anyone has a backup of it, it'd be great!
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Old 01-02-2017, 11:20 PM   #22
Lacoon
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After some digging, I found this.
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Old 01-03-2017, 06:23 PM   #23
Zafar
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I did some digging as well, and found https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bwf...ew?usp=sharing in the the deleted fanfiction drive by silver cookie dust. Which is cleaned up a bit more then the aff.org one.
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Old Yesterday, 07:21 PM   #24
Jester
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After seeing this update by Zafar above, I decided to read the PDF version of this story. As this is a Necro I figured I'll try to give this a decent run through.

This story starts with some massive OOC moments for Harry and Hermione, mostly because it's a straight unexpected sex scene. It's more than a bit off kilter with a lot of sex, doing it's best to be a weird dark sappy romance rendition of Harry Potter with Vampires. Capital V.

The best thing that comes out of this in my opinion is Ron. He reacts how I would react if my best friend went after the girl I obviously had feelings for with hurt, and jealously. The only character that really feels like themselves is Ron. He is a bit deluded, hopeful, and remains Harry's friend throughout everything that happens to him. It starts off a bit rocky, with a bit of a bashing vibe on the Weasleys, but nothing extremely off happens on that front.

The other interesting part happens to be the Vampire lore. It feels decently engaging, and had me interested in the authors Vampire society. As that was the whole point for reading this story for me I was generally satisfied. I wish it actually featured a bit more than the very cliched romance between Harry and Hermione, which in my opinion was an average trashy romance level of a relationship.

Hermione is butchered, and forced. She really detracted from the story, and the authors attempt at making the relationship have more weight fell flat. Draco Malfoy was a mishandled character, who felt like more a plot contrivance than anything else. Snape was interesting, and engaging for the small part of the story that he appears. Harry is your classic anti-hero romantic that is common in bad romantic hero fiction, he had moments where I found him compelling as a character. He is more a Harry in name, but not completely unrecognizable.

The author uses a ton, and a I mean a ton of OCs. Some are better than others, most aren't very good though. A lot of them are their to help the shitty plot try and have stakes.

The ending is also a massive ass pull, that was foreshadowed like a hammer to the thumb.

This is a classic case of a story that is in need of an editor, a more focused plot, and less Harry Potter mythos. It was interesting to see parts of the Vampire world in the Author's vision, and if you enjoy ok vampire fiction, and can handle OOC romance from Harry and Hermione than this story is great.

It's an interesting 3/5 story that will meet a select groups taste. It has some interesting ideas, competent writing, and is fully complete. It's a story I wish had an editor, and renamed the characters to something else.

Last edited by Jester; Yesterday at 07:28 PM.
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