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Old 01-11-2017, 01:40 AM   #181
ScottPress
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Man, you must really dislike Spirit of Redemption then.
I've read extremely long fics. The thing with OSABC is a lot of the scenes (especially action scenes) are overblown. But I checked out that Spirit thing and yeah, I'm not reading 3,4mln words without the strongest recommendation ever.
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:19 AM   #182
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There is one thing in OSABC that I think needs to be a bit trimmed down and that is arguably a bit of a difficult thing to cut out, admittedly, so at the very least it needed to change. And that is the type of conversation that Shepard has with multiple people, most of which who are going to be her crew in which she basically says the same thing and thus we get to read the same conversation over and over again in which she laments that she is a monster, so incredibly fucked up and so on.

I mean, I get it. She has these bonding moments with different people and she can't exactly make up new tragic backstories and we need to see her connecting with her crew so we get why they would follow her into hell and all but on the other side, it did drag the story a bit to basically read the same angsty conversation a few times.

I don't pretend to know the solution here, but it is the one thing that stuck to my mind over a year after having reread the story. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love these stories, length and all, but if the first story had one big weakness, I'd say that was it. I think the bad thing isn't the length itself but that those segments made the reader feel the length in a bad way.
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Old 02-05-2017, 07:34 PM   #183
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There is one thing in OSABC that I think needs to be a bit trimmed down and that is arguably a bit of a difficult thing to cut out, admittedly, so at the very least it needed to change. And that is the type of conversation that Shepard has with multiple people, most of which who are going to be her crew in which she basically says the same thing and thus we get to read the same conversation over and over again in which she laments that she is a monster, so incredibly fucked up and so on.
.
To be fair, most of my dialogue was modeled on people I based Shepard on, who would get into exactly those kinds of repetitive, woe is me talks that I could never seem to break them out of.

At the time of writing, I was experimenting and... not thinking about readability so much as what was in my head. I think these sections need to be reviewed, polished and cleaned up a lot for people to enjoy them.

But one of my own pet peeves is people treating PTSD, survivor sydromes and other issues as something you just 'get over'. As I've alluded to elsewhere, you don't get over it. Especially if you're an introverted emotional cripple.

I would appreciate the better methods of getting that across without making it sound like some slightly better spelled version of My Immortal, as the criticism is certainly valid.
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