Dark Lord Potter Forums Dark Lord Potter Forums  
Go Back   Dark Lord Potter Forums > Library > The Alternates
Donate Register Rules Library List IRC Chat FAQ Members List Social Groups Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Notices

Donate to DLP PatronusCharm Banner

 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-25-2008, 06:03 PM   #1
Oz
Moderator
Migos Enthusiast
 
Oz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baile Átha Cliath
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,549
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Send a message via MSN to Oz
Harry Potter and the Wastelands of Time by this_old_dance (joe6991) - M

Title: Harry Potter and the Wastelands of Time
Author: this_old_dance
Rating: M
Genre: Time Travel
Pairings: H/Fleur/Tonks
Chapters: 31
Words: 282,609
Updated: August 4, 2010
Published: February 12, 2008
Status: Complete


Summary: Take a deep breath, count backwards from ten… and above all else – don’t worry! It will all be over soon. The world, that is. Yet for Harry Potter, the end is just the beginning. Enemies close in on all sides, and Harry faces the greatest challenge of all... Time.
The Boy Who Lived will do so again, as an ancient legend will rise from the dark, murky depths of time, screaming with enough power to shatter the world.
Post OotP - Harry/Tonks/Fleur - written in first-person - novel length - a time-travel story with a difference.

Link: FFN
Link: PatronusCharm
Link: Work by Author thread.

You've all probably seen it in WbA, but I felt it was time it was put up for review, now that it's 6 chapters in.
With brilliant characterisation, Joe's penchant for epic battles, fluid writing style and an almost complete lack of clichés, this is gearing up to be quite possibly the best time-travel story ever.

5/5


Sequel:

Harry Potter and the Heartlands of Time
Chapters: 14
Words: 59,926
Updated: October 8, 2012
Published: September 15, 2010
Summary: Sequel to Wastelands! Time has all but run out for Harry Potter. There are no more second chances. No more desperate bids for salvaged redemption. The game has changed, and in the end Harry will learn that the cost of his defiance has never run so high.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6325846/...tlands-of-Time
DLP-WbA: https://forums.darklordpotter.net/sh...hlight=6325846




Checked by Minion, January 8, 2013
Added the sequel
__________________
Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?

Last edited by Dark Minion; 01-08-2013 at 04:07 PM. Reason: Edit for proper PC link
Oz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2008, 07:02 PM   #2
Andro
Master of Death
 
Andro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,948
DLP Supporter Donor Star
If there is any story deserving of unaminous 5/5 ratings, this is it.

5/5.
Andro is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2008, 07:42 PM   #3
Taure
Unspeakable
Magical Cores Are Real
 
Taure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Gender: Male
Posts: 795
DLP Supporter Donor Star
High Score: 13,152
PC link:

http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/76/6/

Definitely a good story, though I get the feeling that it could wear you down after a while. It lacks the slightly frivolous nature of even the darkest parts of Harry Potter...which is by no means a bad thing - just different.
__________________

HPATTGH: 1/35 Complete
Taure is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2008, 07:51 PM   #4
Voice of the Nephilim
Death Eater
 
Voice of the Nephilim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Hawaii
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 977
DLP Supporter Donor Star
I found this story to be fantastic, well conceived in really every fashion.
Voice of the Nephilim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2008, 08:00 PM   #5
Cathal
Professor
Sir Nils' Right Hand
 
Cathal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 436
I already expressed my opinion on this story in Work by Author section but it never hurts to repeat it: This fic... no, masterpiece, is truly magical.
5/5
__________________

"It's such a quiet thing... to fall. But far more terrible is to admit it."

Rightful owner of:
  • Jenkins' soul.
  • 1/7 of Mindless' soul.
Cathal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2008, 08:42 PM   #6
Taure
Unspeakable
Magical Cores Are Real
 
Taure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Gender: Male
Posts: 795
DLP Supporter Donor Star
High Score: 13,152
I think I'm going to go for a 4/5, rather than a 5/5.

There are some problems I have with the story that prevents it from achieving 5/5.

Firstly and most significantly, is what can only be described as the sheer "epicness" of this fic. It's just too big. This quote I think is the best example:

Quote:
I've been forged through enough chaos and destruction to have been tempered unbreakable by the fires of war. I've magic in my arsenal that could tear down cities, reduce forests to ash, mountains to rubble, and - if I feel like going out in a blaze of glory - I can channel enough power through my body to melt a continent…
One could almost expect Harry to turn to Fleur and say, "I'm OVER 9000, Honey!"

On top of this, the power boost is rather inconsistent. Harry can blow up continents, yet for some reason he's pussyfooting around with fake Muggle ID and so forth. If he's that powerful he doesn't need it. Same with money, same with the ring. If Harry is that powerful, he could have just walked into Gringotts and taken the ring. Hell you don't even need to be that powerful - canon Harry did it.

The story would go a lot simpler if Harry were just to destroy the whole UK with Voldemort in it. Lots of people would die, but far less than in his apocalyptic future.

Another inconsistency is the fight at the end of the latest chapter. For the last few chapters we've been hearing all about Harry's amazing powers, and yet here his skills in re are nowhere near as advertised. Again, even canon Harry was able to do better, since he knows the actual explosion spell - Confringo - whereas all Harry in this fic was able to muster was the blasting curse.

The sheer amount of power inflation someone destroys the story for me. It reminds me of that story a while back, Harry Potter and the Power of the Magus (I don't know if that title is right) in which every single character in the series ended up with special super powers. It just isn't right.

There's AU, and then there's AU. Which leads me on to the second point...

This just isn't Harry Potter.

There comes a point at which you have changed so much that a story is so far from Harry Potter that it just...isn't. A Second Chance at Life is a perfect example of this, and Wastelands of Time looks like it's going to be the second. Demons, Gods, weird dimension-rift-traveling-uber-monsters, over9000!Harry, and most importantly the tone of the story, all feel wrong. Harry Potter always has had a certain magical-ness about it, a bit of fairy tale. This has none of that. We really can't see anyone using magic to do the washing up in this story. You can imagine the scene:

"Harry, could you clean up your bedroom please?"

"Sure Mrs. Weasley! Scourgify!"

BOOM!

"Oops, I blew up a continent," said Harry, before wandering off to go swimming in the Earth's core.

Which brings us again rather neatly to my third and final objection: how seriously this story takes itself. It's just so open to parody. It's an epic fic - so epic, in fact, that it's hard to take lines like this seriously:

Quote:
I cut the wee little thing short again, my hard eyes blazing and my voice strong and sure. “I invoke the right of Palaver with Chief Forst the Overseer, Director-Manager of the London Branch of Gringotts Wizarding Bank. Under the laws of your nation, of your father's father, goblin, I, Harry James Potter, invoke the Treaty of Atlantis and all rights owed Wizard-kind therein. I claim the Claw of Ragnarok unbroken!”

I was shouting by the end of that, and every goblin within hearing distance of me stopped what they were doing
I mean, imagine seeing that sort of thing happen in real life. You'd just be like, "WTF?!". It's so easy to think of ways you could turn this into a humour fic:

Quote:
I cut the wee little thing short again, my hard eyes blazing and my voice strong and sure. “I invoke the right of Palaver with Chief Forst the Overseer, Director-Manager of the London Branch of Gringotts Wizarding Bank. Under the laws of your nation, of your father's father, goblin, I, Harry James Potter, invoke the Treaty of Atlantis and all rights owed Wizard-kind therein. I claim the Claw of Ragnarok unbroken!”

"I'm sorry Mister Potter, but I believe you're thinking of the House-Elves," replied the Goblin, who looked rather embarrassed at Harry's outburst. "We're just the guys that count coins."
Or whatever. You get what I'm saying.

Anyway, it's for these reasons that I give the story a 4 rather than a 5. But it's still a 4 - well written and enjoyable.
__________________

HPATTGH: 1/35 Complete

Last edited by Taure; 02-25-2008 at 09:04 PM.
Taure is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2008, 09:15 PM   #7
ParseltonguePhoenix
Unspeakable
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Alabama
Gender: Male
Posts: 785
I've posted my thoughts on this in the WbA thread already, but like others, I have no problem doing so again.

A Harry who's been put through so much shit makes changes to the HP universe are huge...but that isn't necesarily bad. I can see Taure's point about this story being too serious in places, but at the same time...this seems directed at an audience that's older, worldier, and perhaps more cynical than the child-audience JKR was shooting for. Don't many of us gripe that the world around HP should have gotten more grown up and serious as Harry did?

The writing style is brilliant, and while the story is of epic proportions...little things like silent apparition and avoiding detection wards add a flavor to it that many stories just don't have.

I'm really impressed by the originality displayed, since I haven't noticed any of the usual cliches being used. I can't wait to see where Joe takes this, but also like Taure, I'd like to see a little playfulness inserted...so long as it isn't overdone, and doesn't feel like filler material.

At this point, I'd give it a 4.7/5, and a full endorsement for those who haven't picked it up yet.
__________________


If one person sees you doing something kinda weird, it’s really embarrassing. But getting thrown in jail because you wore a cloak and then quoted Gandalf? That’s awesome. That’s a story I’d tell for the rest of my life. --Patrick Rothfuss
ParseltonguePhoenix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2008, 11:44 PM   #8
Hobbes
First Year
 
Hobbes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 44
i read the summary and I already think its amazing.

5/5 for being a good story. Finally something to read.
Hobbes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 06:01 AM   #9
Mr. Merriman
Seventh Year
 
Mr. Merriman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 286
Awesome story so far. I'm really looking forward to the rest, although it is a bit daunting at the beginning due to the sheer scope of Harry's situation.

Joe's writing style is excellent, and this is possibly one of my new absolute favorites, so long as it continues in the same style.

A good 5/5 for the first six chapters.
__________________
"In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
looms but the horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years,
finds, and shall find me unafraid."

-from Invictus, by William Ernest Henley
Mr. Merriman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 07:01 AM   #10
Calis Clayr
Seventh Year
 
Calis Clayr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: One of the smallest countries in the world
Gender: Male
Posts: 291
Blast, I haven't checked this story in a while... oh well, more chapters to read is never a bad thing, especially with this fic.

For what I've read up till now, 5/5
Calis Clayr is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 03:07 PM   #11
Randeemy
Headmaster
 
Randeemy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: England
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,066
DLP Supporter Donor Star
The best first person fic I have read. I stay away from them because it takes talent to pull it off.

I've read the first three chapters and it is brilliant. Harry's obsession with time is brilliant.

4.5/5... Because nothing is perfect
__________________

When everything seems hopeless, that's when you need to bring it. That's when you need to bring the crunch!!!
-
The Power of mint and Berries yet with a satisfying tasty crunch!
Randeemy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 05:24 PM   #12
PsyckoSama
Groundskeeper
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Monster in your chest, about to jump out.
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 316
Well written, but the plot is a bit contrived and its too over the top yet seems to be a super-harry that epically fails at being super.

I give it a 3.5
__________________
"Hello, my name is Susan. I want to poke out your eye and make love to your skull."

Visit Giant Stompy Robots: Role Playing, Fan Fiction, and Bipedal War Machines!
PsyckoSama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 08:02 PM   #13
LogrusMage
Supreme Mugwump
 
LogrusMage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Huntington Sta., NY
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,675
Send a message via AIM to LogrusMage
It is epic... almost too epic. This could all go to hell with the slightest plot misstep. Voldemort is going to need one hell of a buff if Harry, who is able to melt a continent, hasn't been able to defeat him despite having tried dozens (possibly hundreds) of times.

However, the writing is brilliant. One of the best styles in fanfiction. As well, the characters are well written. I don't like Tonks, though. But I just don't like her in general.

The whole Goblin scene was... over the top. I agree with Taure; it is almost a caricature of itself. The author will have to be very careful to avoid that fate which is oh so common among characters and works with very extreme and/or epic traits.

4/5 - But it's teetering either way. A single misstep could make this fic fall to a three or worse, but if he continues without falling into the pit holes this kind of fic creates for itself, this could be 5/5 material.
__________________

Thanks to Sir_Xiph0 for the Sig
LogrusMage is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-27-2008, 10:34 PM   #14
Oujou Akaash
Unspeakable
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 783
5/5 amazing.

Last edited by Oujou Akaash; 02-27-2008 at 11:05 PM.
Oujou Akaash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2008, 12:00 AM   #15
QuixoticStoic
First Year
 
QuixoticStoic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
Id say 4/5 the story has a wonderful hook to it. It takes the idea of time travel and just turns it on its head. My only concern is will there be too much action. Already there is the threat of Voldemort, Demons?, and now goblins. Will the author be able to balance it all without going over the top?
QuixoticStoic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2008, 11:37 AM   #16
The Sinner
Fixed
 
The Sinner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somewhere between the heretic and Un'aria
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 250
Send a message via AIM to The Sinner
4.5/5

This story is epic indeed, and very well written. But my problem with it would have to be a lack of mental visuals. I've always been big on extensive detail, and this story does not have that in great amounts. It is a first-person, so I can understand that.

Looking forward to more!
The Sinner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2008, 02:35 AM   #17
Joe
Groundskeeper
The Reminiscent Exile
 
Joe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 394
DLP Supporter Donor Star
High Score: 1,800
This story is feckin' awesome.

Although it needs more debauchery, violence, and chaos - and not necessarily in that order. Also sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll - again, order optional.

5/5 because I know what's to come... and in what order.

Cheers, folks,

joe
__________________
-

Becoming a writer is a polite way of saying you've chosen alcoholism as a career.

- Joe Ducks

Follow me on Twitter


OFFICIAL WEBSITE
Joe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2008, 03:32 AM   #18
Mors
Order Member
 
Mors's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Somewhere they dont haet teh leet.
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 814
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe
I know what's to come... and in what order.
... Another Jon. -_-

Excellent story though.
__________________
My FF.Net Profile.
Mors is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2008, 12:23 PM   #19
Blaise
Golden Patronus
 
Blaise's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Washington, D.C.
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,195
Quote:
Originally Posted by this_old_dance View Post
This story is feckin' awesome.

Although it needs more debauchery, violence, and chaos - and not necessarily in that order. Also sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll - again, order optional.

5/5 because I know what's to come... and in what order.

Cheers, folks,

joe
...arrogant little fuck.

I'm mad that I can't even really get upset, 'cos your story IS feckin' awesome.

.....arrogant little fuck.
__________________
Blaise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2008, 12:37 PM   #20
World
Oberstgruppenführer
 
World's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Axis of Evil (Original)
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,161
DLP Supporter Donor Star
1/5, because the author is a stupid doodoo-head that reviews his own stories.
__________________
World is offline   Reply With Quote

Tags
author:joe6991, harry/fleur, harry/tonks, time travel


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Abandoned - Harry Potter and the Power of Time by RossWrock - T Ringmaster Almost Recommended 107 01-24-2010 01:29 PM
Abandoned - Harry Potter and the Serpent of Time by tinkerpixy - PG13 tinkerpixy Almost Recommended 14 09-19-2009 01:40 AM
Favorite all time Harry Potter fic. Ragon General Discussion 48 11-06-2006 11:25 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2005 - 2016 DLP Group. All rights reserved.
No personal intellectual property on this site may be used without the credit and express permission of the respective authors.