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Old 01-02-2010, 09:02 AM   #1
enembee
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Ravenous by enembee - M

Title: Ravenous
Author: enembee
Rating: M
Genre: Dark/Horror
DLP Category: Dark Arts
Pairing: None
Published January 02, 2010
Updated January 02, 2010
Words: 3,343

Status: Oneshot
Summary: Dark. Oneshot. Bested by a basilisk and the teenage Dark Lord, Harry makes one last desperate attempt to keep his life and inadvertently releases a hunger that consumes the world.
Link:PatronusCharm.net

God it's been ages since I posted anything here. Anyway, not normally the sort of thing I'd write and I was originally going to leave it after the scene in the CoS, but somewhere it merged with the Master and then the Zerg, then I got a bit carried away.

Anyway, enjoy.


Checked by Minion, Nov. 25, 2012
The story was deleted on / by ff.net
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Last edited by Dark Minion; 11-25-2012 at 08:20 AM.
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Old 01-02-2010, 09:30 AM   #2
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left a more detailed review at PC, but this story was definitely worth my time.

4/5
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Old 01-02-2010, 09:38 AM   #3
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Yeah, as KrzaQ pointed out the mechanics make no sense. It was more for the lulz than anything else.
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Old 01-02-2010, 09:47 AM   #4
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Mechanics are nothing compared to a good lulz-fest. So yeah, I thought the idea posted in Foxy Foxy's challenge were a little on the retarded side, but looking at it with humour was probably the way to do it. Highlight here was either Harry eating Ginny or Riddle and Hagrid being the last alive against the entire Bolivian Army. Heh, good job.

No rating, but high on the funny factor and no overtly noticeable cock-ups in the spelling and grammar areas.
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Old 01-02-2010, 11:33 AM   #5
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I liked this a lot, and got a lot of enjoyment out of it.

4/5
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Old 01-02-2010, 12:55 PM   #6
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I liked it. Funny and enjoyable at that same time. 4/5
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Old 01-02-2010, 01:15 PM   #7
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For some reason i was thinking about the Master from the last Dr Who when i read this, Excellent one-shot it is something i would read again.
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Old 01-02-2010, 01:27 PM   #8
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Compared to your other works, nmb, this is... frankly, a piece of shit. Mechanics of pretty much everything make no sense, and besides passable grammar and spelling I honestly can't say a good word about this fic. 2/5
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Old 01-02-2010, 01:56 PM   #9
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There is nothing to this but an idea which you didn't bother to properly explain. It's a neat idea, but the execution of it was shit.
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Old 01-02-2010, 02:04 PM   #10
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I liked it. He took a stupid idea and ran with it. I don't really know how combining "wizard" with "basilisk" can make something that can replicate itself, but Plague!Harry isn't something I've seen before, so yippie.
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Old 01-02-2010, 02:13 PM   #11
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"So hungry," said Harry sadly. "Ever so hungry."
That was creepy as shit. 3/5*



*Failshit idea + Legit author/execution = (-400/5) + (403/5)
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Old 01-02-2010, 02:49 PM   #12
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Quote:
It's a neat idea, but the execution of it was shit.
WTF. It's a terrible idea, and the execution was the only thing that saved it. That was the whole point.

That said, to quote Sephiroth:

What I want, Cloud, is to sail the cosmos with this planet as my vessel... then one day we'll find a new planet and on its soil we'll create a shining future.

= awesome idea.

Overall, as a crack-fic oneshot, this works well.

4/5

Last edited by Taure; 01-02-2010 at 02:51 PM.
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Old 01-02-2010, 04:09 PM   #13
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The team up against snape made me think of the raptors from jurassic park.
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Old 01-02-2010, 04:15 PM   #14
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^haha, yeah, and when Snape says "Clever boy!"

enembee, this is about as good as that premise could possibly have been. 4/5
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Old 01-02-2010, 04:32 PM   #15
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Stylistically and dramatically perfect. The ending with Hagrid and Voldemort reconciled was oddly fitting, a little more detail and it would have been genuinely moving.

4/5. Textbook example of a well-executed oneshot.
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Old 01-02-2010, 04:48 PM   #16
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Here I would say something about people over-thinking crackfics. But each to their own I suppose.

Cheers for the reviews guys <3

FTR, Taure.

What I want is to sail the cosmos with this planet as my vessel... then one day we'll find a new planet and eat everything.
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Old 01-02-2010, 05:09 PM   #17
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The first part was nicely dark and twisted, but I'm afraid the ending didn't work for me. As others have pointed out, the jump from Basilisk!Harry to overrunning the Earth with millions of minions just didn't make sense.

I think Snape was a bit too much of a caricature, and the gratuitous Jurassic Park reference threw me out of the story a bit. I also don't buy that the effect of basilisk venom to the eyes would wear off after a few seconds.

I did like the ending: "Sorry about getting you expelled" was worth a LOL.

4/5 for a reasonably entertaining crackfic, but -1 for all the run-on sentences and other grammatical errors (and the annoying repeated misuse of "wretched" for "retched").
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Old 01-02-2010, 05:18 PM   #18
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While it was nothing special, you definitely pulled off the idea better than anything I expected.

Little more to add other than, 4/5.
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Old 01-02-2010, 06:49 PM   #19
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Can you say Zergrush? Hmm, Harry vs. the Zerg, who would win? Or hell, Harry vs. the Tyranids.
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Old 01-02-2010, 07:03 PM   #20
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It was good for what it was, and it had a nice Marvel Zombies vibe to it which I liked.

4.2/5
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