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Old 05-28-2011, 03:18 AM   #21
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So basically, a Naruto with a different skill set practicing for a while and then kicking ass? Not very original I'm afraid.
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Old 05-28-2011, 04:57 AM   #22
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No, not just a different skillset--normal ninja skills would be extremely difficult for him to learn due to his 'disability', forcing him to take other paths as a ninja. Naruto+team growing during the Fourth War. Cut out Uchiha-wank and other assorted bullshit. Akatsuki may or may not exist, so there's a ton of freedom for the endgame right there.

Basically Naruto in an 'open' world where things aren't constrained by some guy who wants to landscape the moon.
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Old 05-28-2011, 05:07 AM   #23
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Very ehhh to this idea. Has a bit of an "I am awesome, tremble before me" kinda vibe. Maybe it's just cause you called him the Sage of the South Gate, but it feels like a showing in the Epic School of Drama (not the good kind) to me.~Snip~

But I like the idea of a treasurehunter!Naruto, going after summoning contracts and the like, maybe earning his daily bread by going after nukenins (starting at low level and working his way up). Take away some cheesiness and superness vibe that I'm getting and throw in some grit and realism and it has potential.
Well, Naruto would certainly would want to be "tremble-before-me awesome," but given that he is basically a wannabe... his execution might be a bit more comical than awesome. I'm not sure I can actually take away Naruto's cheesiness and his hard-on for ridiculous titles- it's what makes the character so enjoyable for me.

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My Naruto idea:

Naruto is almost incapable of channeling normal chakra. His attempts express themselves naturally as his elemental affinity (probs wind, but whatever the author wanted it to be really) instead of him having to alter his normal chakra to get elemental chakra (can't recall correct term/process atm). It's called Elemental Recombination-ASBOT

Naruto, with all of his vigor and determination, strives to master his affinity and turn an apparent disadvantage into strength. He would still have reserves and stamina up the wazoo, as well as the Kyuubi, but the demon wouldn't be a focus. This story would be about Naruto mastering his element to a degree never seen before.

Plot wouldn't follow canon at all, I'd like to see Naruto given some brief time to hone his skills with his genin team under whichever instructor (no, he can't be on a team with Hinata/Sakura/other random chick taught by Kurenai and Anko) before tensions between the Five Great Villages and their allies break out into the Fourth Great Shinobi War.

Naruto then cements his legend in the furnace of war, dealing with the issues that you would expect to sprout from a World Ninja War--child soldiers, killing the enemy, losing comrades, growing up fast--and above all, actually growing rapidly in skill as he and the other genin of his class are taught frantically what they need to survive.
You know, I think you're trying so hard to run away from the cliches, that you've managed to come full circle, smack dab into a pile of super!Naruto plot conventions. Honestly, super is relative to the other characters in the story, and it sounds like you want to write an Anti-hero who used to be Naruto- which I am ambivalent towards. It's been done before, and done fairly well. Nine-Tailed Serpent and Naruto: Altered History both fall into that genre. Also,

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Naruto then cements his legend in the furnace of war, dealing with the issues that you would expect to sprout from a World Ninja War--child soldiers, killing the enemy, losing comrades, growing up fast--and above all, actually growing rapidly in skill as he and the other genin of his class are taught frantically what they need to survive.
Wow. That is some melodrama right there. Bravo.
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Old 05-28-2011, 05:31 AM   #24
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Well, Naruto would certainly would want to be "tremble-before-me awesome," but given that he is basically a wannabe... his execution might be a bit more comical than awesome. I'm not sure I can actually take away Naruto's cheesiness and his hard-on for ridiculous titles- it's what makes the character so enjoyable for me.
Yeah, I'm more of a gritty Naruto fan myself. Canon Naruto has a bad habit of shitting me off :\. Why is he all 'grovel-before-me-bitches' though? If he never became a ninja of Konoha, how did he become strong? Part of my mental block with the idea comes from Sasuke still being there I think, and I keep thinking of Naruto and co. as pre-shippuden ages because of that.

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You know, I think you're trying so hard to run away from the cliches, that you've managed to come full circle, smack dab into a pile of super!Naruto plot conventions. Honestly, super is relative to the other characters in the story, and it sounds like you want to write an Anti-hero who used to be Naruto- which I am ambivalent towards. It's been done before, and done fairly well. Nine-Tailed Serpent and Naruto: Altered History both fall into that genre.
Wasn't trying to portray that. More of a 'let's throw Naruto into this situation and see how he does' kinda thing. He'd still be Naruto--however, Naruto is supposed to be a ninja trained from a young age to kill the enemy, and in times of war, there's not going to be any bullshit about not giving potential soldiers lackluster training. I want to see Naruto doing as Sarutobi, Jirayia, Namikaze and Kakashi did before him..

In a time of war, are you going to ignore the kid with chakra coming out of his eyeballs and a demon in his gut? No, you're going to give him stupidly overpowered techniques and point him at an enemy outpost. That part is why I added the almost Lee-like 'disability' in regards to normal chakra--toning down the Superman Syndrome.

I have to admit, part of this idea came from wanting to see Naruto's legend rising and how his character would fare in war, but mostly all the sorts of things you could do in a war given his capacity to make clones and a clever application of the exploding clone technique--few hundred clones henged to look like refugees accepted into an enemy outpost, then BAM.



tl;dr: A story about Naruto as the badass he should be if he was trained to his full potential as a kid then thrown into a war and what legend he would carve for himself.
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Old 05-28-2011, 05:59 AM   #25
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Yeah, I'm more of a gritty Naruto fan myself. Canon Naruto has a bad habit of shitting me off :\. Why is he all 'grovel-before-me-bitches' though? If he never became a ninja of Konoha, how did he become strong? Part of my mental block with the idea comes from Sasuke still being there I think, and I keep thinking of Naruto and co. as pre-shippuden ages because of that.



Wasn't trying to portray that. More of a 'let's throw Naruto into this situation and see how he does' kinda thing. ~snippy~
I have to admit, part of this idea came from wanting to see Naruto's legend rising and how his character would fare in war, but mostly all the sorts of things you could do in a war given his capacity to make clones and a clever application of the exploding clone technique--few hundred clones henged to look like refugees accepted into an enemy outpost, then BAM.
I had an idea similar to that a few years back, actually. Basically, the Wave Mission runs into actual hunter-nins, the genin mouth off, and everything goes to shit. This leaves Kakashi and Team 7 stranded behind enemy lines during the opening engagements of a war between Mist and Leaf. They're given the mission to hold Wave against any invaders until help can arrive.

I don't remember much else, except that I turned Naruto into an exploding tag factory and used him kind of like a machine gun nest (since Mass Shadow Clone + the Third's Kunai clone technique = shit tons of kunai), and I think Sakura ended up learning some crazy disease based techniques. I never really wrote it because it lacked something character development-wise.


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tl;dr: A story about Naruto as the badass he should be if he was trained to his full potential as a kid then thrown into a war and what legend he would carve for himself.
Eh. I've read a lot of stories like that- I went through that phase too. I guess I'm just sick of reading the same shitty handling of the idea over and over. I have to say that there is a lot of crap out there that uses this basic construction as a justification for super!Naruto.
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Old 05-28-2011, 06:08 AM   #26
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I've started reading a lot of them too--only, most of them either aren't quite what I'm after, or are poorly done.

That Leaf/Mist in Wave scenario actually sounds kinda awesome if done right. Kakashi forced to teach Team 7 what he could in a stupidly short amount of time to make them as deadly as possible? Yes please.

Don't suppose you actually wrote it?
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Old 05-29-2011, 07:48 PM   #27
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Nah. My attempt was absolute shittastic super!Naruto wank. The simple fact of the matter is that canon!Naruto has the most potent skill set of any genin (except Gaara) for that scenario. Shadow Clone, and more specifically Mass Shadow Clone It's almost as good as Edo Tensei , since it can be used to multiply dwindling supplies like sen bon, shuriken, kunai, and exploding tags.
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Old 05-30-2011, 04:59 AM   #28
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For Naruto:
Had this plot idea bouncing around in my head a bit; and I'd like to know if its been over done or done at all. It could be summed up as this: Each tail represents a life. Kind of like the main character in the Chronicles of Chestromanci, only with a focus toward each tail/lose of life experienced.

It would end up being a serious fic (No nosebleeds or ramen other than in passing) as each chapter would entail the loss of one of these lives which would mostly be in battle. Each eariler chapter would end when the fight is over. I haven't decided if I would I have the Kyuubi manifest a personality or not; I'm leaning more toward no.

There would probably be ten chapters in total, titles would count down from nine, the last would be zero/infinity. First tail loss would occur in some accident as a child, he wakes up in a morgue. Each one after would be in battle. The last two/three lives lost would be in the fight against Madara or Kabuto.

He will die completely during the battle.

Until he is summoned back through Edo Tensei. I'm leaning toward Tsunade doing it; as it was the creation of the Second Hokage and finished by Orochimaru. Revived, Naruto would be able to finish the battle, and talk to whatever love interest before gaining closure and fading.

Don't know when I'd write it, but there it is in a basic form. Any good? Possibly done often?
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Old 05-30-2011, 06:44 AM   #29
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Huh. I like it. The closest thing to it that I've seen is the glut of Reset stories (in the vein of Chunin Exam Day) and I'm rather intrigued.
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Old 06-02-2011, 07:55 PM   #30
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Lion's Plot Bunny
- Kumo succeeds in kidnapping Hinata. This forces Kumo and Konoha into war and of course other nations join in starting a fourth shinobi world war.
- Since Hinata was three when it happened the Uchiha clan is still around and a major source of power for Konoha.
- Since it is known Kumo has two Jinchuriki Naruto is put into training as soon as possible. Konoha going to extreme lengths to make him more powerful. Though everyone would be getting a power boost from the series.
- An alliance between Konoha and Kiri because Konoha knows the Fourth Mizukage is also a Jinchuriki. They help end the civil war so Kiri can still help. Because canon never states when the civil war started I'll be using artistic freedom to say it started not to long ago.
- Konoha looks over the bloodline purges of the Mist because of the need for allies. Also they will be taking bloodline survivors and bringing them to Konoha.
- Iwa won't take place in the war and Suna will side with Kumo because of some early victories and they are hopping to gain favor with their Daimyo.
- Madara is dead. Akatsuki is still around but Madara was killed by Minato when he came to release the Kyubi. That way the fourth Mizukage isn't under some mind control jutsu.
Sides
Kumo-Suna Alliance
- Ame under control of Hanzo
- Kusa
- Yugakure (Village Hidden in Hot Water)
- Shimogakure (Village Hidden in Frost)
- Moyagakure (Village Hidden in the Haze)
- Jomau (Village Lock Village) Espionage village

Konoha-Kiri
- Taki (Waterfall)
- Tanigakure (Hidden Valley)
- Ishigakure (Hidden Stones) Iwa hates them so they get protection from Konoha

Undecided
- Oto
- Iwa
- Hoshi

I decided the sides based on where they were on the Naruto map. I was thinking that smaller villages would get protection from Kage villages around them so they aren't wiped out on a whim. Something that became common place after Whirlpool was wiped out. Also the status of a Kage village having lesser villages is based on their own stability. Suna has none because they have been losing them since the second war and loss of funding. Konoha and Kumo each have a few since they can support them. Kiri has none because of their isolation. Some villages like Kusa and Ame can protect themselves so while they have allies they aren't under protection of anyone.

So using these plot points after the prologue the story starts with Naruto's first deployment. He is 10 years old and after 7 years of warfare it's a stalemate on both the Kumo and Suna front's. Waterfall has come out of neutrality because their rival Kusa has pledged to help Kumo in the war on Konoha because of an old grudge from their beginning when Konoha attacked Kusa. Naruto is sent to the Waterfall front because it's thought that it won't be heating up there to much so fresher nin are sent there. Only that falls apart as Kusa launches a massive attack on them. The story will follow Naruto and friends as they go through the war in a more realistic world.
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:44 PM   #31
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It's an interesting premise, but you'd need more of a story than that if you were to pursue it. Konoha Goes To War is not a rare genre, and one battle after another doesn't really make for a good story (see: Bleach). So in that case; who is the antagonist(s)? What is their goal? How does Naruto get involved? Is he proactive in fighting them? Things like that.
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Old 06-04-2011, 04:25 PM   #32
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Well I was thinking about the Juubi somehow being involved. Like controlling Iwa in the background, the reason they didn't jump on the Konoha gang bang in the beginning. The Jubi want's to gather the rest of the Bijuu to reform itself. Minato killed Madara who was working for the Jubi and stopped it's first plan. Thus it went for a new pawn the Tsuchikage. Iwa forms it's own Akatsuki, obviously with different members and possibly a new name and other details. Kyubi liking being it's own being, even trapped in a vessel, better than just being sucked into the Jubi. Through out the first war it begins to suspect somethings going on because of some subtle signs and eventually starts trying to prepare Naruto in it's own way, not the "Oh super Kyubi-sensei what lost art are you going to teach me this hour?" way most go with, but more of nudging him with insults and vague hints on what he needs to learn. Disguising it as helping Konoha's war effort. Eventually Jubi has Iwa move forward with troops enhanced with a watered down version of it's chakara. Quickly Iwa starts to push everyone back. Then Kyubi would spell out what it was doing to Naruto and he gears up for the final battle.
There's just a few problems.
- Too common. I need a way to make t more original.
- Whether to kill off Nagato and crew or fit them somewhere.
- Not having the plot just be battle after battle. Some problems in each of the villages, cause they all have them, would be good.
- How to make Naruto more powerful without getting others their own boosts.
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Old 06-04-2011, 07:04 PM   #33
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@Lion why would bloodline purges happen if Madara is dead? Pretty sure he is the one who made the Yondaime Mizukage do that.
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Old 06-04-2011, 07:53 PM   #34
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@Lion why would bloodline purges happen if Madara is dead? Pretty sure he is the one who made the Yondaime Mizukage do that.
I think the purges started before naruto was born. Thus before Madara was killed when he went to where Kushina was giving birth and got smacked down by Minato.
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:42 PM   #35
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I think the purges started before naruto was born. Thus before Madara was killed when he went to where Kushina was giving birth and got smacked down by Minato.
It's quite possible, though, that without the driving force behind them they could have petered off or not been as.. complete/comprehensive as they were in canon.

Not telling you how to do your plotbunny, dude, just food for thought.
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Old 06-04-2011, 10:07 PM   #36
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Plot Bunny-Naruto takes the forbidden scroll and is killed on sight by ANBU for stealing a sacred village artifact. That would be hilarious
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Old 06-04-2011, 10:22 PM   #37
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Plot Bunny-Naruto takes the forbidden scroll and is killed on sight by ANBU for stealing a sacred village artifact. That would be hilarious
This sounds like a lead in to a bad Naruto X Bleach crossover fic.

But lets follow that line of thought for a moment.

In the event of Naruto's death, one of two things happens he either A. Takes the Kyuubi with him, or B. Unleashes it's might as the seal, which draws from him to power the Kyuubi's cage, falters and shatters. Perhaps Naruto even unleashes it as a last, vengeful act against the Village that Hated him and then slew him unjustly, without ever having anyone who he believed cared about him, or who trusted him. Without ever having a precious person, he cares not for the entreaties of Minato, a man who cursed him to this vile life and unjust death.

Konoha is burned to the ground, the Kyuubi is unleashed once more. The Sandaime Hokage valiantly sacrifices his life, but all he can do is give a few stragglers enough time to escape. Hatake Kakashi leads the survivors, now ridden with even more guilt for not dying alongside the majority of his comrades.

Three days later, The Land of Stone invades the Land of Fire.

Immediately, the The Land of Lightning invades as well in an attempt to make sure that Iwa does not gain too much land and resources. Both parties squabble for years over the land, crushing the armies of Samurai. Their conflict eventually snowballs, leading to the Fourth Great Shinobi War

The Kyuubi, it's rage having been fed to heights previously unimagined by it's Enslavement by Madara and then decade plus long confinement in the child of it's arguably greatest enemies cuts a swath of death and destruction across the landscape. So great is it's wrath that even Madara avoids it for a time, the body count racks up into the tens, and then hundreds of thousands.

The 'Genial', 'Kind' and 'Fair' Ninja Village, Konoha, is no more. It's influence will be sorely missed.

Nagato attempts to stop it's rampage, but he overstrains himself, years as a veritable living puppet show without actual exercise or physical health have weakened him more than he thought, he is no longer capable of facing a might so great as The Kyuubi.

With Nagato's death, and subsequent consumption by The Nine-Tails, Madara's Moon's Eye plan is no longer feasable. Since the last of the carriers capable of the Rinnegan have died off.

Man is not even allowed the 'kindness' of an illusory life of peace.

The old days of vicious Shinobi war consume the Hidden Continent once more, consigning untold millions to death and suffering for the forseeable future generations.


Yeah, that's pretty hilarious.





Edit: ... Morbid Train of Thought, much? Huh. Dunno where that came from.
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Old 06-05-2011, 08:11 PM   #38
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It's quite possible, though, that without the driving force behind them they could have petered off or not been as.. complete/comprehensive as they were in canon.

Not telling you how to do your plotbunny, dude, just food for thought.
Nah it's okay. No idea gets good until someone picks apart the bad things. Though with no driving force Kiri just sends most of the bloodline holders to Konoha and convinces people that when the bloodlines go crazy it will be Konoha that gets destroyed. That way there is not as much tension if Kiri and bloodline holders have to work together. Also that could be a good Konoha subplot. Bloodline holders from Kiri and Konoha natives but heads and cause trouble for each other. Like say why a smaller clan like the Yamanakas getting a council seat while a large ex-Kiri clan doesn't. Cause some drama back home.
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:27 PM   #39
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Nah it's okay. No idea gets good until someone picks apart the bad things. Though with no driving force Kiri just sends most of the bloodline holders to Konoha and convinces people that when the bloodlines go crazy it will be Konoha that gets destroyed. That way there is not as much tension if Kiri and bloodline holders have to work together. Also that could be a good Konoha subplot. Bloodline holders from Kiri and Konoha natives but heads and cause trouble for each other. Like say why a smaller clan like the Yamanakas getting a council seat while a large ex-Kiri clan doesn't. Cause some drama back home.
Political conflict, niiice.

Well, that question might depend. If the Yamanaka's (and the rest of the Show-Favored) clans are 'founding' members of Konoha, then that's your answer. If not, then it might simply be a case of 'They've been here longer and proven themselves. Prove yourselves and we'll give you a council seat/more influence too.'

But, being a Ninja Village, of course the burden of proof that they're useful and trustworthy will be upon the incoming clan. The politician parts of the families may not understand that, but any ninja probably would. (Well, any level-headed ninja, as has been shown there are a fair amount of dumb/unbalanced ninja out there).
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Old 06-06-2011, 02:40 PM   #40
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Political conflict, niiice.

Well, that question might depend. If the Yamanaka's (and the rest of the Show-Favored) clans are 'founding' members of Konoha, then that's your answer. If not, then it might simply be a case of 'They've been here longer and proven themselves. Prove yourselves and we'll give you a council seat/more influence too.'

But, being a Ninja Village, of course the burden of proof that they're useful and trustworthy will be upon the incoming clan. The politician parts of the families may not understand that, but any ninja probably would. (Well, any level-headed ninja, as has been shown there are a fair amount of dumb/unbalanced ninja out there).
Yea. I was just going to go with the they have been here longer. Since the only official founding clans are the Uchiha and Senju. That way I can make the Kiri clans push because they are more powerful.
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<dhulli>exactly
<Zennith>Serious douche
<JBlaise>wtf you faggots
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