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WIP 30 Dragon & In Peace We Lie by mackillian

Discussion in 'Games' started by White Rabbit, Feb 2, 2011.

  1. White Rabbit

    White Rabbit Hippity Hoppity DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2008
    Messages:
    979
    Location:
    Arkansas
    Title: 30 Dragon
    Author: mackillian
    Rating: T
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    DLP Category: Games
    Pairing: Cousland/Morrigan
    Status: Complete
    Summary: AU. Alistair isn't the only illegitimate son of King Maric. Where Eamon failed, the Couslands did not, and raised Maric's other son as their own.
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6310981/1/30_Dragon

    Title: In Peace We Lie
    Author: mackillian
    Rating:T
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    DLP Category: Games
    Pairing: Cousland/Morrigan/Mahariel
    Status: WIP
    Summary: AU. Sequel to 30 Dragon. Mysterious darkspawn plague the north while the search for Morrigan and answers to what happened with the archdemon's soul begins.
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6482170/1/In_Peace_We_Lie

    Like Jeram's story it starts out pretty true to the source, but adds tweaks and twists that become major plot devices. Character interactions flesh out the characters you know from the game and become a little more interesting. Update rate is good, every two to three days.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2011
  2. Poytin

    Poytin The Arby's Hipster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,070
    Location:
    Nevada
    Read 30 Dragon and it's decent enough but the story really didn't drag me in enough to read In Peace We Lie. 3/5
     
  3. Magus

    Magus Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2008
    Messages:
    337
    Location:
    Doctor Who land.
    This is a really interesting premise, but the main character ("Malcolm") suffers from an unfortunate case of whiny-bitch-itis. While it's okay for a hero to suffer from doubts that he will eventually overcome,, Malcolm keeps acting like a whiny indecisive bitch well into the twentieth chaper and beyond.

    This does provide an interesting perspective for Alistair having to step up a bit and act like the senior Warden, but he occasionaly seems out of character. It's as if the main characer's decisiveness and Alistair's indecisiveness have been swapped. Furthermore Morrigan acts far too out of character, inexclipacbly getting along with Wynne and generally being less of an amusing bitch then she should be.

    It's good but these flaws make it hard to root for the main characters. I'm giving it a 3/5.
     
  4. CBH

    CBH Sixth Year

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2010
    Messages:
    177
    There's actually a third story in the series now:

    Title: Their Shallow Graves
    Author: mackillian
    Rating:T
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    DLP Category: Games
    Pairing: Cousland/Mahariel
    Status: WIP, 437,900 words
    Summary: AU, sequel to 30 Dragon and In Peace We Lie. In the wake of Morrigan's departure, change starts to kindle across Thedas. While Morrigan takes the path leading to her future, those left behind find themselves facing a past thought dead. M!Cousland/F!Mahariel
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8764517/1/Their-Shallow-Graves

    I'd give 30 Dragon a 3.5/5. Its an interesting idea and generally good read, but I agree that Malcolm can be unlikable at times. In addition, some characters, specifically Morrigan, Alistair, and Zevran, are OOC. For Alistair, I didn't mind since hes made into a stronger character more fit for his position than he is in canon. Morrigan was alright, but her tone was off with her general bitchiness scaled down which takes away some of the fun from her character. Zevran had a weird backstory that I don't think fit that well into everything since his past seems to be the only change in the Dragon Age Universe that wasn't a spiral from Malcolm being Maric's son. It felt like he was just thrown in there.

    I enjoyed In Peace We Lie a lot more and would actually give it a 5/5. Despite being largely a romance story, it still had a strong plot and I actually really liked the chemistry between Malcolm and Liadan. Their personalities clashed well and it really felt like there was a lot of character development throughout the story both as individuals and together. It definitely helps that Malcolm is a lot more likable in this story.

    For the newest part, Their Shallow Graves, I'd rate a 4/5. Despite having a general plot that I find enjoyable, that of problems with the Chantry and Circle, it feels largely directionless and just incredibly wordy. It moves from one point to the next in Malcolm and Liadan's lives without a clear focus or plan as to what they are trying to do besides just live and deal with things as they come. Unlike in the first two parts of the series, they kind of just drift without a Blight to end or talking darkspawn to investigate. This might make it sound like its a bad story, but after the previous parts of the series I did feel a connection to the main characters and wanted to hear more about their futures. Added to a strong technical grasp of writing that really has improved since 30 Dragon, I think this is a generally enjoyable part of a series that is definitely library worthy.

    For the series as a whole, I rated it a 4/5.
     
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