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Oneshot 85124 by OccAmy - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Dethklok, Apr 25, 2009.

  1. Dethklok

    Dethklok Order Member

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    The power of Christ compels him not to tell you.
    Title: 85124
    Author: OccAmy
    Rating: M
    Genre: Horror/Supernatural
    DLP Category: The Alternate's/Pre-Canon?
    Words: 1,660
    Published: January 22, 2009
    Status: Complete, Oneshot

    Summary: The tattoo wasn't a choice. It was forced on – forced through the screams of the needle, through the tears of his skin. He had no choice. Holocaust.
    Link: http://hpfandom.net/eff/viewstory.php?sid=33746
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4811410/1/85124

    Quite a dark oneshot, and makes you think. Doesn't quite diverge from future canon, but makes sense in a prequel kind of way. Gives old Tom more of a method for his madness. But it's still madness.


    Checked by Minion, August 18, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 18, 2013
  2. Psychotic Cat

    Psychotic Cat Unspeakable

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    If only Tom was capable of some kind of wandless magic....
     
  3. meatzman2

    meatzman2 Backtraced

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    This is rather good actually. Certainly it's dark and not the best light reading material, but it's well written, timing and delivery of key lines is very well done.

    My main grumble is that the insanity is well portrayed but not well developed, it just springs out of nowhere, he goes from traumatized to psychotic without really any steps in between. It's part of the short, rapid fire nature of the fic that I assume means there couldn't be much development of insanity.

    4/5 for being a good read and Library worthy, some of the camp stuff was hallowing.
     
  4. Hashasheen

    Hashasheen Totally Sirius

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    This is a pretty good fic, and I like some of the guy's others. Pretty chilling stuff.

    4/5
     
  5. DarkAizen

    DarkAizen Professor DLP Supporter

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    The story is good but not believable, if Tom was captured he will try to escape.

    Regardless 3/5
     
  6. Stalin's Pipe Organs

    Stalin's Pipe Organs Auror

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    But he does know wandless magic. Remember the orphanage? He could control minds and after years of magical training, he conveniently lost that ability?!

    This is a story that is trying to give a political message. It tries to get you to know more about the Holocaust and remind you of it. You know this is equivalent to some anti Iraq protester writing a fanfic about Harry "loosing his magic", going to serve in Iraq, having a horrible time there, and coming back with PTSD.

    Again keep real life politics and political messages out of Harry Potter.

    1/5
     
  7. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    Seriously? I didn't buy this as well, as I found it highly unlikely that Tom couldn't do any magic, but the writing and pacing were great. Enjoyable and provides a logical reason for Voldemort's ascent - though that's the only thing that connects it to HP.
     
  8. Psychotic Cat

    Psychotic Cat Unspeakable

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    See, you can't call the character development logical when logically it would be impossible for the character to get into the situation the development occurs in.

    It's not as bad as the SSJ Hitler DBZ/Anne Frank crossover... but no, just no.


    The holocaust happened and it is just one episode in a long history showing just how fucked up people are.

    You are not supposed to get enjoyment from it and seeing kids using it as a setting for fucking fanfiction makes me wonder what schools teach these days and where I donate to help them buy the canes there's so obviously a shortage of.
     
  9. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    I totally disagree. There are plenty of Holocaust movies. They won Oscars because they were enjoyable. Even though it's one of the most depressing things on planet Earth, we can still portray it beautifully.
     
  10. QuixoticStoic

    QuixoticStoic First Year

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    I like this one shot. It goes to show that the best villains truly can believe themselves to be acting in the best interest of society.
     
  11. Imariel

    Imariel Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Yes, it's certainly an interesting thing to write, and the author does it very well. The one thing that bothered me, was as Meatzman2 wrote, that he turns overnight from a broken subservient slave worker, to the vengeful maniac we all know and love. Might've wanted to implement some minor hints to his decaying psyche in the earlier paragraphs. Doesn't need to be excessive, as it'd most likely ruin the flow of the story, but any small thing to prevent the sudden, unexplained switch of character.
     
  12. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    Yea, if the author would have added that Tom actually grew to like the smell of the corpses after he got used to it, it would have added a lot.
     
  13. wolf550e

    wolf550e High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    If this is another one of those stories where the antagonist is evil because he is a Holocaust survivor a la X-Men, I will vote 1 without reading.
     
  14. Captain Trips

    Captain Trips High Inquisitor

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    Thought this was a good story 5/5
     
  15. meatzman2

    meatzman2 Backtraced

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    Thanks and while you're doing that, stop trolling and GTFO please. You've completely missed the point of the fic.
     
  16. DarkAizen

    DarkAizen Professor DLP Supporter

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    A 5/5 means that this is one of the best story you ever read, are you sure that this is the case? If so, I advise you to read more.

    I hate pussy!Voldermort stories. If he was able to hurt people when he was 11 years old, I fail to see how he could not do so to "ze" Germans.

    If the author would have used a method to explain Tom`s lack of magic, I would have found it more enjoyable.
     
  17. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Well, sometimes you have to pussify a character so that he can angst, suffer, and have girls coo over him.

    2/5 for the contrivance.
     
  18. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Riddle should have been able to utilize wandless magic. That part made no sense.

    On the other hand, I would hardly call this the pussification of Voldemort. As it is - his rise makes little to no sense. He's powerful - but other than showing him as a power hungry young man - his methods make little to no sense in my opinion. This story certainly creates a proper motive for his actions.

    It also is written fairly damn well. It's just the proper length, conveyiing the story without making it overly dramatic. No noticeable grammatical or spelling errors.

    4/5

    At least Voldemort didn't decide to go on his rampage because some Muggle killed his dog.
     
  19. meatzman2

    meatzman2 Backtraced

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    Are you perchance thinking of Naruto? The death of a treasured companion is most certainly a good enough reason to wage genocide. Voldemort is certainly loony enough to be unhinged by the loss of his most precious Shih Tzu.
     
  20. Dirk Diggory

    Dirk Diggory Seventh Year

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    Yes, except Voldemort has never been this type of villain. He was a classic serial killer in training as a child. JKR even kind of implies that he was that way from birth due to his family. In fact, by the time he gets captured by the Nazis in this story he ALREADY murdered someone for his own amusement. Trying to merge this with the Magneto-style "Lolocaust made me this way" does not fit. "Well back in Hogwarts I liked to kill people, but after I went to a concentration camp I really like to kill people"?

    I don't even care so much about the ridiculous contrivances necessary to get and keep him there, the premise of the story just doesn't work at all.

    2/5
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2009