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Abandoned A Play with me by World - T

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by World, Apr 19, 2006.

  1. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Title: A Play with me
    Author: World
    Rating: K (?)
    Pairings: None (any more)
    Category: General (?)
    Status: Abandoned
    Summary: Every person has strings. But who is holding whoms?

    Link

    While thinking about what to write I somehow got the idea to write a Harry Potter story in Shakesperean style. I was hoping you could give some comments about how you liked the style (since the scene is so short, the story is rather unimportant for now). The current beta count is zero, so I hope you can forgive some errors and/or point them out to me.


    Checked by Minion, July 27, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2013
  2. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    ::blinks::

    That...was brilliance. I don't think I've ever seen something like this done before. Nicely done, I am looking forward to seeing some more of this. It actually makes me think....good job. :)
     
  3. Ivy_Snowe

    Ivy_Snowe Second Year

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    Wow. I honestly enjoyed that. You wrote something that made my inner theatre kid squee. Which hasn't happened for a couple of months now. It was brilliant.
     
  4. tridentwatch

    tridentwatch Looked into the void

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    I didnt get it. I just dont understand that stuff. :?
     
  5. DGD

    DGD Headmaster

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    Wow, very, very good.
     
  6. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Wow, all this nice critcism (thanks, btw) made me churn out the next scene. I am, however, a bit unsure about it, so please tell me if the style fits the first scene. At least there is a sonnet included.

    tridentwatch: I was thinking about maybe writing a normal story that encompasses the plot of this play, but I'm not sure. Same about a commented version that explains certain things. If you really want, I could send you an explanation for the scene(s), but I'd rather not.
    Thoughts about that, anyone?
     
  7. Dark Lord Rostam

    Dark Lord Rostam Button La Famiglia Midknight

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    Wow, this is an amazing work of art, keep at it.
     
  8. Cervus

    Cervus Raptured to Hell

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    I really enjoyed reading this. It's a great piece of writing. I've not seen this done before, and to be honest I don't think many people could do it so well. Please continue, I look forward to reading more.
     
  9. Ivy_Snowe

    Ivy_Snowe Second Year

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    Again, that was amazing. It's truly well done and I enjoy reading it. I liked that it was Ron planning to help him out. Good job.
     
  10. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Again, due to all the praise heaped upon me, the next scene has emerged. 350 words I'm contend with, other than the 1000 words I have of scene 4 which I'm unsure about because it has become more of a rhyme-orgy than anything else. i'm not quite sure what to do about it, maybe I'll just post it as it is and let you be the judge.

    But for now, I hope scene III is to your satisfaction
     
  11. Ivy_Snowe

    Ivy_Snowe Second Year

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    Another good chapter. That minister is a bastard. I like it.
     
  12. DGD

    DGD Headmaster

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    Very nice, keep up the good work. Again, just excellent.
     
  13. ixazncha0six

    ixazncha0six Raptured to Hell

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  14. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I have already started actually, I'm now in the process of upping ch. 2
     
  15. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Since I'm currently busy with exams I've decided to post this version of scene IV which I do not plan on using. But since it's already been written, I'd like to know what you think about it in contrast to the other scenes.
     
  16. Lady Rebecca

    Lady Rebecca Professor

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    I have to say, this is a wonderful mastery of the iambic pentameter.


    I read this whole thing aloud with a British accent it was so good!

    I can't wait for the next scene!
     
  17. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer Moderator DLP Supporter

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    So you would prefer this style over the other?
    As a contrast, these will most probably be the first lines of the new scene IV, notably without any rhymes;
    This question goes to all others as well
     
  18. doc_gerbil

    doc_gerbil Sixth Year

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    my german friend you have a penchant for the artistic. JK may be rolling over in her sleep but shakespeare is certainly pleased, as am i. first peice of truly origional fiction ive seen in a while now.
     
  19. Ivy_Snowe

    Ivy_Snowe Second Year

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    Again, I must say that I really enjoy this, it's truly an original.
     
  20. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Since you seemed to like the fourth scene, I've decided to keep it. I've written the closing lines for it and added them to the scene (the last 16 lines).

    On a side note, I hate my computer. Because of a faulty power cord for a hdd, I've fucked up two of my three hds, loosing about 300 gig of data. Including the backups I made on one of those disks. :headshot:

    Thus, all hail data recovery programs, giving me back my scene overview, pretty much the second most important of all data that I lost. [​IMG][​IMG] (But don't hail that much, much of it is scambled and many things unusable. But it's better than nothing.)

    So, now with 300 gig of entertainment value (and storage space :() less, I guess I'll get back to writing soon.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2006