That's going to be an abandon thread gif for sure.

Also, Samwell (Bolton) Tarly was gnarly as fuck.

 

I was really expecting Theon to attempt a 'big damn hero' moment, only to then get brutally murdered trying to save Yara. Would have been a decent, semi-redeeming end to his character arc, which is pretty lackluster now that he's not in the North.

 

I've honestly been calling bull on Euron rebuilding the Iron Fleet into "the greatest armada the world has ever seen" in the time it takes Yara and Theon to sail to Essos and back. Building ships takes a long time damnit.

He's a great character, but the stuff he pulls is just ridiculous.

 

I just automatically assume significant unseen skips are constantly occuring, and that most pov swaps take place weeks/months apart. Much easier to digest all the timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly.

 

Don't the Sand Snakes have poison on their blades? They cut Euron several times. Is there any legit explanation besides plot hole to explain why he's able to cockily walk through Kings Landing next episode?

 

That poison like that goes bad, and they probably don't just hang around randomly with poisoned blades, and that the nature of the surprise attack meant that they didn't have time to poison their blades.

Edit:

Also isn't it technically not poison since it's applied intravenously?

 

Clearly, the Dread Pirate Greyjoy spent years developing an immunity to every known poison.

 

Theon to be rescued out of the water by Gendry.

 

Huh...?

I thought, with 13 episodes left in the series, exciting shit would be happening all over the place. Instead, I feel like we're getting all the boring scenes. I'm honestly disappointed.

Spoiler

Dany, you sailed to Westeros to fuck shit up and you're actively refusing to fuck shit up. Instead you engage in coercing loyalty out of Varys, something I assumed you'd dealt with already. Can we please drop the insecurity theatre of "bow or roast in dragonfire"? It was cool 4 seasons ago when you were steamrolling through Slavers' Bay, but now it's boring. If you still need that much affirmation then give Tyrion the fucking crown.

Lots of talking about war and alliances, nothing we haven't seen on GoT before. I think it could be skipped in favor of showing more interesting things.

I hope Jon comes back to Winterfell to Littlefinger having done something nefarious. Littlefinger is just pointlessly hanging around Sansa, it's a waste of the character who practically engineered the War of the Five Kings.

So Jorah is getting tortured for a chance at not dying. I'm okay with that. Let him come back triumphant, but gnarly and scarred. He could kill zombieMountain and infiltrate the Queensguard and no one would be able to tell the difference.

"Have you ever made a pie?" "One or two." HA! Good one. Really cracked me up. I have to question the inclusion of the wolf though. It's kinda pointless if that's all the wolf is for. I hope it'll show up again if they went to the trouble of reintroducing it after six goddamn seasons.

Euron is pulling ridiculous shit, but he's just a bundle of joy, so I forgive him. He was the only character this episode to introduce some chaos into best laid plans. Unless I'm mistaken, the shot of Ellaria being bent over the table implied that there was rape involved in hostage-taking? I mean, not like we were repeatedly told the Ironborn tend to do that. Also fuck Theon. Seriously. IIRC there was a video of a Jon/Theon meetup being filmed. Just let Jon skewer the fucker and be done with him.

 

Not a bad episode and the sea fight was quite decent though not exactly up to recent standards of GoT battles.

I like how they're giving us somehow good explanations for decision that make Dany's invasion harder that it would be if she simply went all out with her forces.

As for Euron's fleet, I just assume that instead of the dragonbinder and a Valyrian armor, he got to have these ships from his time as the pirate, maybe even the Corsair king.

The next episode we have probably the most important meeting in the show and the longest awaited. Of all meetings and reunions, only Jon and Arya's is probably higher on the list of these I would like to happen.

 

To be honest if their weapons were not poisoned I'd be really surprised.

 

Pilou Asbæk is definitely winning over fans with his mad Euron in the show and comments outside of it. It's not a crazy book version, but he definitely has fun with it.

Surprisingly enough, the Sand Snakes managed to be a lot less annoying than usual or I just got used to their general attitude. Along with the rest of Dornish cast they're the most wasted characters on the show with an exception of Oberyn.

An actor who does excellent job with their role is Jim Broadbent as Archmaester Ebrose and his interactions with Sam.

And they really should give Alfie Allen Emmy or something before the show is over. His continuous performance as broken Theon easily beats almost any other role on the show.

On the other side, it appears that Peter Dinklage continues to have nothing to play. He neither has someone like Bronn or Pod to play off his sarcastic side nor he had any award winning moments after the fourth season.

 

I just fucking hate everything about Danny and her entourage.

I'm glad Arya isn't pulling the lone wolf shit. She's heading back North. Good for her. Surprised they're asspulling Nymeria again, assume she's meant to come back again later otherwise it'd be pointless.

Legit wondering what Theon's fate is.

I very much hope that Jon shakes Danny out of her 'conquer shit' phase with a healthy dose of imminent doom warning.

 

Plot Armour makes him immune to most poisons. And also immune to massive blood loss from being stabbed a dozen times. He's just Ramsay 2.0, he'll be inexplicably competent/invincible until he's suddenly not.

Theon is probably my favourite character at this point, so I'm hoping he's still around, even if I have no idea what plot purpose he could actually serve now.

 

So did Missandei. Bah dum tish.

Now that that's out of the way, I'm calling it now. Next episode's Dragonstone content will be exclusively Dany saying, "Bend the knee," while Jon replies with, "RUFKSRS GIMME DRAGONS AND SHIT WE HAVE ZOMBIES."

"Yeah that's cool but bend the knee or I'll burn the North."

Following this encounter, Jon will have a Tyrion in the Dragonpit moment which won't be mentioned again at all this season.

Sansa will be annoying as fuck as per usual and Sam will be kicked out of Oldtown and nobody will give a shit.

 

They spent a lot of time this episode covering plot holes from missing some stuff from the books, like without Aegon, why Varys would plot to kill Dany in S1, Dorne etc...

The scene with Dany/crew finding out about Jon and his accomplishments was awesome. Melisandre was very vague when Dany asked if she believes shes the one the prophecy refers to, she obviously still thinks its Jon but didnt want to say.

Arya going home expecting Jon, and only Sansa is there haha

Davos is becoming a favorite of mine tbh. Seems very loyal to Jon right now.

Glad Lyanna isnt mindlessly following everything Jon says, was worried she would do another great speech.

 

I like how Jon's legend is growing as much as Dany's. And how it's obvious that people are focusing on facts that fit their view of him. If not for the Vale, Jon would die in the Battle of the Bastards. Yet people like Hot Pie are only concerned with the part where he ultimately won and maybe they're under impression that the knights' final charge was his plan from the beginning.

That said, they really should make a bigger deal of him coming back to life even in this season. You have hundreds witnesses and even if most of them are the Free People, once they started interacting with the Northerners it's more than enough to start a major religious movement.

 

In other news, I finally found a scene where I enjoyed the Sand Snakes.

The fact that they're viciously getting murdered and their bodies displayed in it is surely coincidence.