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A Squib Worth by Naia - K+

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by knothead, Jan 6, 2009.

  1. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    Title: A Squib Worth
    Author: Naia
    Rating: K+
    Genre: General
    DLP Category: Alternates
    Pairing: H/Hr
    Status: Complete. 4 chapters, 21,566 words.
    Summary: The day Harry Potter turned eleven was the day he would have re-entered the magical world. But the letter never came; Harry Potter was a Squib. Dismissed by the wizards, he makes a quiet life for himself and will not stand for them to ruin it.

    Naia's story excels in that it portrays a Harry Potter who would rather not be involved in the magical world as an adult because he wasn't welcome in it when he was younger. The setting is much different than the author's better-known works-- the in-progress "The Dragonmasters" and "Anarkia;" however, "A Squib Worth" is very good and worthy of being in the library.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  2. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

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    I'm not really into powerless Harry, but I've got a good feeling about this one, so I'll give it a shot.

    EDIT: So far it looks pretty bad... The writing is amateurish at best.

    EDIT 2: Couldn't get past the first chapter, everything about this story screams mediocrity to me. Won't rate it though, seeing as I haven't finished reading it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  3. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    I laughed at the end.

    I'll give this story a 4/5 for the plethora of spelling and grammar errors. But she's French so that's slightly excusable. It's not excusable, however, to just not get a beta.

    It's an interesting take on what would happen if Harry were a squib. The characters were out of character, especially Dumbledore. But that's normal in fanfiction bashing the Wizarding World. Or in any independent Harry story, really. If she would have made the characters a little less mulish and a bit more believable, it would have been a much better story.
     
  4. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    Meh. The usual trash. Everybody, universally, dismisses him due to his squibness with no conflict arising due to the dichotomy of him being the Boy-Who-Lived too. The wizarding world wanted him badly, that was made very clear, but not carried out to its logical conclusion: that they could have kidnapped him in a minute, and with the attitude they displayed towards squibs, they should have. The guns were... meh. Magical repelling and shit. I've always wondered about guns and their use in magical conflict, but not like this.

    So, crappy, bad characterization, horrible logistics, mediocre writing, and a lackluster plot make this 2/5.
     
  5. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    I excused a lot of those errors because Naia's a non-native English speaker/writer. I briefly considered posting in the "Almost Recommended" thread; however, I decided "For Review" was more appropriate since we're known to be sometimes lenient to non-English natives. The story being much shorter than her other works and complete also factored in my decision.

    As for the mulishness, it was very believable when considering the story's context. You have Harry who's been told that he's not welcome in magical Britain as a child and being asked do more than what he considers to be his part for the same society when he's an adult. I thought the wizards' roles to be magical fundamentalists who angered Harry, Hermione, and muggle characters.

    I don't think it's a stretch for many wizards to be portrayed that way. As a consequence, Harry, Hermione, and muggle characters' reactions to wizards were appropriate.
     
  6. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    It gets points for taking an idea and carrying it to conclusion. Considering the author's got a few WIP fics that are 6+ years 'in progress' now, a finished fic is something of a rarity.

    But everything else about this fic and story felt average. The romance was so limited that it didn't even bother me. And both sides, the muggle and magical, seemed to react relatively realistically. Which in this case isn't terribly interesting to read.

    Some of the typoes and errors were probably the most entertaining bits of the fic. A few highlights were:
    Even the opening author's note:
    Mistakes forgiven. Just adds a little something more to the reading process.

    Overall there are many better and many worse ways to pass the time. 3/5 primarily for being complete.
     
  7. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Muggles were vastly overestimated here, but the story was a pretty decent read nonetheless. I liked how Petunia reacted to Normal!Harry, and the fact that he didn't suddenly gain any none-canon Wandless super-powers, or become the best fighter in the world. Hermione just happening to enter Harry's school was a bit convenient to say the least. The writing could have been a hell of a lot worse, I suppose. I liked the dialogue, for the most part.

    3/5
     
  8. Mage Ronin

    Mage Ronin Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    The plot is original; you don't see Squib!Harry fics around. The spelling and grammar is a bit atrocious though and vastly lower in quality than her other famous fics. I think the Wizarding characters are way too OOC. I mean, sure some of the wizards would be skeptical about Harry, and Muggles being a ble to fight Magic (like Rufus Scrimgeour and Aurors unaware of muggle warfare). But for someone like Dumbledore, who has live for a century and a half, and more than likely knows about events such as Hiroshima, his skeptism is unrealistic.

    The story needs a couple more details such as time frames. Hermione and the anti-magic team couldn't have come up with the magic suppressing technology in a couple days. It's a good fic, however. Only the lack of knowledge in several subjects like true politics, military workings, a good amount of techno-magic babble make the fic from shining. 3/5
     
  9. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity High Score: 3,994 Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I found myself unable to read beyond the second chapter and not because of the formatting errors (which were the least of the problems this story had). While some of the ideas were interesting, unlike BajaB's excellent Almost a Squib, I didn't find myself caring about Harry, Hermione or anyone else. The paucity of revealing dialogue or description had it reading more like a sketch of a story than a story proper and many of the plot developments felt more like bolt-on appendages than integral parts. Coupled with the several highly unrealistic developments
    the serendipity of Judge (?) Harry and Doctor Hermione both being tapped as part of a covert circle to combat magic; insta-recognition of a Muggle with a scar on his forehead as Harry Potter, someone not seen by the wizards since his infancy; Petunia's miraculous overnight conversion to supportive aunt... the list goes on
    I was left shaking my head.

    Maybe it gets better, but it didn't offer enough to motivate me to click to chapter 3. I'd expected better from the author of Anarkia, a story I do enjoy. (With all respect to nonjon, completing a story that readers don't feel invested enough to read to the end takes a bit of polish off the accomplishment. After all, "Rocks fall; everyone dies." is also an ending...) 2/5 for what I read. It might go higher if someone convinces me to read on.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2009
  10. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

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    I'm sorry, I barely got through the first chapter. This is mediocre with a capital M at best and utter crap at worst. 1/5
     
  11. Vir

    Vir Centauri Ambassador Prestige DLP Supporter

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    From what I've read Harry is a European Judge, not a British one. The difference in legal systems is glaring. Harry would have to have been a lawyer for many years before he became a Judge in the common law tradition. If he was a civil law judge, then he'd have to have been a magistrate for a large number of years before becoming a judge. Also, judges are not referred to as "Judge Potter" or whatever. They are referred to as "Justice Potter" or in the case of a Chief Justice as "Chief Justice Potter." It'd be interesting to see what court Justice Potter sits on though.
     
  12. aikora666

    aikora666 First Year

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    It was interesting and refreshing to see a Squib Harry who wasn't so angry at himself for being powerless, 3/5.
     
  13. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    I found it interesting her writing actually got worse since Anarkia.
     
  14. IBG

    IBG Seventh Year

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    Poor at best. The author uses several cliche's such as-
    - incredibly powerful muggle/magical weapons
    - muggles being much smarter than wizards
    - muggles getting through wards through simple means due to wizards' oversight
    - an anticlimatic ending with Voldemort being sniped.. the only one I thought wouldn't be used was Harry being angry at Dumbledore for screwing him over, but whoop diddle doo, it turns out it was Sirius who screwed him over this time
    - plenty of unnecessary muggle terms such as Judge which were meant to be complex and make the fic seem more intelligent, but instead made me question the authors actual age.

    On top of that, the dialog is tedious, every time Harry meets a non-muggleborn wizard they threaten him, degrade him, or try kidnap him, and he responds with the same comment over and over, sarcastically saying that a squib isn't worth whatever offer.

    I could go into more depth but this fic isn't worth it. The only person to surpass Harry's idiocy in it is its author. 1/5.

    Anyway, I'll save this topic. Let's discuss whether or not this is better or worse than dhulli's Squib
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2009
  15. Hashasheen

    Hashasheen Totally Sirius

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    could you give a link?
     
  16. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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  17. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

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    I'd give it a 3 at most. It's not an overly interesting fic, to be honest. BajaB's squib story is waaaaay better than this one. It's leagues better than this one. Throw it in the Bin.
     
  18. Bucks

    Bucks Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    I remember reading this yesterday. While it was a good guilty pleasure... It isn't exactly going to win any awards any day soon.

    2.5/5
     
  19. Hashasheen

    Hashasheen Totally Sirius

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  20. Rayndeon

    Rayndeon Professor

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    I have no idea what the author was even hoping to accomplish in that story (not Naia's). The whole premise of the story is that Harry is a squib - as magically powerless as a muggle. So, to compensate, the author gives him ... magic?! The only truly excellent squib story I've read is the one by BajaB. I'm currently working on a Azkaban!Squib! story myself... (on a backseat from another story I'm working on).

    As for Naia's story, meh. 3/5. I didn't really like the direction the plot went with "uber powerful magical muggles!"