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Oneshot Age 23 by Jeff - T - One Shot

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Jeff, Jan 30, 2007.

  1. Jeff

    Jeff Third Year

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2006
    Messages:
    95
    Title: Age 23
    Author: JeffD
    Rating: T
    Genre: General/Drama
    DLP Category: General
    Pairing: None
    Words: 1,298
    Published: October 1, 2006

    Status: Complete, Oneshot
    Summary: Harry preparing for the final battle. What has happened and who he is. Dark!Harry, Sadist!Harry [Post Hogwarts] [One Shot]
    Link:
    [DLP: Work by Author] http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=4839
    [Fanfiction.net] http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3179770/1/


    Checked by Minion, July 27, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2013
  2. BioPlague

    BioPlague MD DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2006
    Messages:
    2,561
    Location:
    United States
    This is so great, really great story!! Please do more!!

    6/6
     
  3. mcatrage

    mcatrage Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    198
    Location:
    USA
    Whoa the whole raping thing really took me by surprise.

    Nevertheless, Great plot and would be awesome if it was expanded on.
    4/5
     
  4. Nexus

    Nexus Denarii Host

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2006
    Messages:
    465
    Location:
    Strolling along River Styx
    Blah Blah. Love it. Very dark and mysterious.

    4/5.
     
  5. That Wench

    That Wench Skittles Addict

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2006
    Messages:
    259
    Location:
    London, England
    Hey, not bad Jeff. Liked the ending 'cause it cycled well with the beginning.

    4.5/5 - I think you should keep it one-shot though :s
     
  6. The Dark Monarch

    The Dark Monarch Backtraced

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    638
    Location:
    Stuck in the bleeding hot desert
    When I saw the title I couldn't help thinking of the blink 182 song.
     
  7. The Sinner

    The Sinner Looked into the void

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2006
    Messages:
    250
    Location:
    Somewhere between the heretic and Un'aria
    Honestly, what do all the rest of you see in this fic? I just saw an emo kid in disguise. Made me want to... rape a Death Eaters wife! Come on now, what kind of crap was that? Honestly.

    -5/5
     
  8. C.S.Kaniel

    C.S.Kaniel Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2006
    Messages:
    125
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Not only is that review not citing what makes him an emo kid in disguise, but it's also a NECROPOST. It's been 22 days (give or take a day or two) since the last post for a topic that had only 5 posts before you. Let it DIE, or die instead.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2007
  9. Vengashii

    Vengashii Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    709
    I find it both ironic and hypocritical of you that you call this fic emo when your avatar displays a bloody white rose and a blood red moon.
     
  10. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,948
    Well, this was well-received at the time it was written, but I don't think it's library-worthy now.

    It's basically an exercise in introspection. It's all telling and no showing, not even when Harry fights Voldemort. So the descent into darkness and obsession is quite monotonous.

    And the literary device that Jeff uses as a gimmick among the most simplistic and overused in the history of the craft.

    You know, where you have the opener repeated for the ending in this format:

    I mean if you aggressively try to defend this story you can try to argue that the absence of this sentence:

    suggests that whether Harry wins or loses, either who the survivor will be a monster and the world suffers.

    In which case I refer you to this:

    http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Peter_Chimaera

    But the bottom line is this wasn't chilling or interesting enough.

    2.5/5.