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Almost Recommended VI

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Dark Minion, Feb 9, 2013.

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  1. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Almost Recommended VI
    Harry Potter: I | II | III | IV | V | Submission Archives
    Other Fandom: I | Submission Archives


     
  2. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    A warning: If anyone takes up the phsysics vs. magic debate again, he/she/it will get punished.


    And now, to start anew, the last two relevant posts of the last thread:


     
  3. Lindsey

    Lindsey Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Bringing this back from the other thread

    Title: Ice Crux.

    Author: Hermione Prime.

    Summary: The Boy-Who-Lived didn't exist. Voldemort attained the final victory. As a feared authoritarian figure, he rules the Wizarding World and Hogwarts in the shadows. And when a magically talented Harry Potter arrives at Hogwarts, he attracts the unwanted attention of the Dark Lord. Following a magnificent duel Harry is blackmailed into becoming his second apprentice.

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8664961/1/


    The beginning is slightly weak and there are obvious flaws, such as everyone crucioing everyone and Harry being way too powerful for his age. However, her storyline is very original with Harry never really accepting Voldemort. It seems to be going in the direction of Harry against Voldemort. With some improvements, this story could easily become a 4/5 story.

    I've also talked with the author. She loves advice on how to become a better writer. I'm going to try to get her to post here.
     
  4. Vir

    Vir Centauri Ambassador ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The solution to better writing advice is to post in WBA.
     
  5. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    I have read the story, and the writing is really is good, especially considering her age.

    Though the story has some serious problems. The author knows she must not overpower Harry, i.e. he appears quite powerful but isn't able to compete with competent older students. But she hasn't a feeling for balancing his abilities compared to his peers and Voldemort's Death Eaters.

    Then there is this awkward scene when Voldemort collects Harry at Hogwarts and uses a big black limousine as a way to travel. It's the most un-Voldemortish thing I have seen for quite some time.

    I don't mind how Voldemort and his Death Eaters are described. They basically use the same methods the Nazis used to fight and eventually oppress the social democrats and the socialists - literally beating them up until they stop to defend themselves. If they won't stop, they'll be beaten to death. Do it in public and everyone knows what to expect.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2013
  6. Saot

    Saot Groundskeeper

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    Even when the pre-timetravel/etc. portion is something plausible and good enough that I'd enjoy reading it on its own merits, I'm always annoyed by long setups simply because you know in advance that none of it actually matters. It would be one thing if all of the little details in the prologue became relevant later, but most of the time you could replace the prologue with a two sentence summary and lose nothing.

    The story itself is decent, but unremarkable.
     
  7. Drake

    Drake Seventh Year

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    At what point does Ice Crux get better? I just started Chapter 6 and I am barely managing to slog my way through it. Hermione is just straight up awful and grating.

    Edit: She keeps saying that Voldemort is clever and cunning, but she never truly shows it. He basically just goes around threatening, torturing, and murdering everyone. And there's nothing necessarily wrong with that sort of character, except when you claim that he's charismatic. It's like she's created a society that has Stockholm Syndrome, which if that was her intent than bravo.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2013
  8. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

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    I like Wishful Divergence, though at less than 5k words/month its tempting to wait a half year or so before checking it again.
     
  9. Rache

    Rache Headmaster

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    I already posted this story 'Ice Crux' in the previous thread I think. As for when the story gets better, it starts with Snape training Harry to get into Voldemort's eyes. The real awesomeness starts later into the story with Tom Riddle planning to overthrow Voldemort and finally the latest chapter where the shit-storm starts.

    Cheers Minion. I was just going to point out the fact that this was an Almost Rec. thread in the previous Magic vs Physics debate. It kinda reminded me of the posts I made in HP and the BWL thread regarding Harry becoming as good as Tom and Albus before I got banned.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2013
  10. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Stained Crimson » by Qwerky Qity
    Senior Auror Harry Potter is supposed to investigate the deaths of Draco and Astoria Malfoy. Not to become hopelessly entangled with his late schoolyard nemesis' sister-in-law, especially when he is already a married man. Harry/Ginny. Harry/Daphne.
    Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,411​


    I'd like someone to read this and tell me if my Harry gets pushed around as badly and is as stupid as this one -- especially in the last chapter :s I like to think when I do, he at least pushes back. That chapter there with Lisa made me want to beat up the author.

    Decently written otherwise, interesting enough hook etc. pp.
     
  11. CosmosGravitation

    CosmosGravitation Professor

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    I agree, this story is decent.

    Although if it gets far enough along it will probably be slash since the author's other stories with pairings all seem to be slash. I didn't bother to read the other stories to see if the author writes the kind of slash that inundates every facet of the story, but they usually do.
     
  12. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    I haven't read your fic yet (one of those eternally on my to-read list). This fic, however, I liked quite a bit except for the same part that ruffled your feathers: Lisa sodding Turpin. Her actions and Harry's absolute non-reaction to them simply boggles my mind. Everything else in the fic is at least reasonable, but that... what the hell man.

    Keeping an eye on it regardless.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2013
  13. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Stained Crimson.. ugh. I'm having a hard time understanding how anybody can be that stupid. Harry's a fucking pansy who has "suspicions" that he should be getting answers to instead of ruminating on them. If multiple people told me to avoid someone, I'd damn well find out why. And those people are retarded if they won't tell him. Why on earth wouldn't you give somebody more information if you want them to follow your suggestions (and keep themselves safe)? It boggles the mind.

    The author uses these story elements to introduce tension and fails miserably because they're so transparent. I can't help but think that the author isn't very smart if he/she can't come up with better plot points.

    Pretty trash, even for Almost Rec.
     
  14. Rache

    Rache Headmaster

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    Well, Sesc does have a massive hard on every time he runs across a Harry/Daphne story. While I was attracted to the pairing initially, Daphne dear has run out of fire. The same old 'Ice Queen' again and again turned my initial interest into aversion.
     
  15. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Harry/Daphne has nothing to do with anything here? It's Harry/Ginny, at the moment. I linked it because it's an Auror!Harry crime/mystery, and I like those. Did you even read it?
     
  16. Rache

    Rache Headmaster

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    'At the moment' being the key word. ;)

    As for reading it, yes. I've been following the story since the second chapter was posted by the author. The only Harry/Daphne I loved every minute reading was 'Unatoned'. I've been following this story for the only reason that it's a reasonable well written technically sound post DH story. HP fandom is in serious need of some good fics post DH.
     
  17. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Harry Potter and the Scīenra Cwēna
    Summary: Harry Potter elects to take a bit of pride in himself, and in so doing changes the way he views others, and they view him. Fourth Year divergence story. HP/HG/FD.
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8871485/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Scīenra-Cwēna

    A GoF AU with an honest-to-god well written polyamorous relationship. Characterisations are mostly in-canon. A couple of minor irritations (Harry's abuse has been exaggerated from canon) but nothing that can't be ignored relatively easily.

    All in all I'd put it on the upper edge of almost recommended.
     
  18. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Lol, Taure. This line was great.

     
  19. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    This is a good find, Taure. For a harem fic this is very readable.
     
  20. thebrute7

    thebrute7 High Inquisitor

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    I enjoyed it well enough, but polyamorous relationships tend to bug me (read: frustrate the hell out of me). But for what it is, it is pretty good. I've probably only ever read two or three other harry/multi fics that are as readble.
     
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