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Complete Altered Destinies by DobbyElfLord - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ip82, Oct 13, 2006.

  1. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Title: Altered Destinies
    Author: DobbyElfLord
    Genre: Supernatural/Suspense
    Rating: T
    Status: WIP (4 ch. / 26K)
    Pairings: H/female OC
    Chapters: 39
    Words: 289,078
    Updated: September 1, 2007
    Published: September 15, 2006
    Status: Complete

    Suggested category: "General" (or possibly "Alternates")
    Summary: Harry has defeated Voldemort, but it was a costly victory. Alberforth Dumbledore presents a plan to go back and kill the infant Riddle, but Harry will have to stay there 10 years. Can Harry alter the wizarding world's destiny?
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3155057/1/

    This is the second "Harry adopts Tom" story I liked.

    The premise is straightforward. Aberforth sends angsty post-war Harry back to the 1920's, with mission to kill baby!Tom. Something goes wrong and Harry ends up 7 years later, only to find Tom being abused by his peers and the caretaker in the orphanage. He adopts him, with intention to wait and see if he starts showing signs of darkness...

    Unlike in that other adaptation story ("Tom Marvolo Riddle Potter"), this Tom is still too young to start using his accidental magic against the other kids. Thus, his character here is far less corrupt then the sociopath Dumbledore had met in the HBP pensive memory. Because of this, the story quickly slips into sort of a light family drama, rather then a heavy angst-fest, as one would expect after the start.

    This is incidentally the biggest downside of this story ATM - the lack of conflict. It just seems that everything is too smooth and sweet, without any danger or true antagonists to spice the things up (although that SHOULD change once WWII and Grindelwald's uprising start). Still, good writing style, characterization and overall presentation are IMO good enough to cover this slip-up - for now.

    3.8/5


    Sequel:

    Balancing Destinies
    Chapters: 19
    Words: 147,171
    Updated: November 8, 2010
    Published: March 23, 2008
    Status: Abandoned
    Summary: Sequel to Altered Destinies: Harry returns to his original time to find the wizarding world changed due to his actions in the past. Not only does his family and friends await, but so does a new prophecy. Reading AD first is required to understand!
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4150901/1/Balancing-Destinies



    Checked by Minion, January 9, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 9, 2013
  2. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman Prestige DLP Supporter

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    High Score:
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    One problem just before I start to read. The author misspelled a character name in the Summary. Not a good start.

    EDIT: I like it. Its a change from what i normally read, but i like it. Nicely relaxing.

    4/5
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2006
  3. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Los Angeles
    .......................

    Jesus fucking christ

    Attack of the almighty levitation charm....

    Yeah, wow. That makes sense.

    And don't even get me started on the second chapter.. Trash bin this.

    And I always find it funny that whenever someone rescues someone else (Usually Harry) from an abusive orphanage or abusive realitives, they always act like they're doing some great feat of kindness, yet they always let the realitives or the orphanage get off scott free for all the abuse, pathetic. Although, that might not be the case in this fic, since I couldn't read past the second chapter.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2006
  4. liath

    liath Seventh Year

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    Location:
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    Gets better once you get passed a few spots--like the ones TIO mentioned. I give it a 4/5.
     
  5. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Persona 4 Admin

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    Anyone else read this and willing to give an opinion/rating?
     
  6. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Scratch the lack of conflict thing. The war is finally starting and Harry's getting into the thick of things, working with the Unspeakables on an undercover mission deep inside Nazi Germany...

    Grammar errors could still be a downer for some, but I was never much bothered by them, so my grade goes up to, say... 4.3/5.

    Really looking forward to more of this.
     
  7. liath

    liath Seventh Year

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    Now, really, is this a Trash-Bin fic?
     
  8. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Definitely not. Beggars can't be choosers. There are much worse fics in the archive then many of those that had been blasted lately.

    For me, '0''s are for Marry-Sues, MPREGS and similar. '1' for bad slash and blatant fangirlism. '2' for in canon H/G or H/Hr, better slash, poor writing and other below average stories. '3' and up are for DLP.

    IMO, nitpicking the first chapter of some average story and then slamming it with '0' speaks more of the reviewer's lack of proper criteria and reviewing skills, then the fic itself.
     
  9. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Send a word to Syao, he's just being lazy. Everyone has rated it offically above three, so, one person must have decided to go for the One star. :\

    *Cough* TheIllusiveOne *Cough*
     
  10. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    I don't usually change my reviews just because someone complains about me being too harsh, however, I'll be honest, I gave it another try a few days ago and it got pretty good in the later chapters. Still,the first two chapters are horrible.

    New rating: 3/5

    Would be 4 if it had even a semi decent start. Belongs in the library, IMO.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2006
  11. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion DLP Supporter

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    Well, I've read up to the latest chapter, and I agree (for the most part) with the comments: first two chapters need serious work, but the later ones are providing a far more interesting level of plot and conflict, presenting some interesting potential issues that may arise. I can't say this is a 4+ fic, but I would give it close to a 3.8 or so - above average but needing some additional proofreading.

    3/5

    -J
     
  12. The_Banisher

    The_Banisher First Year

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    I don't think this is Trash-Bin worthy. It certainly has a few unique twists and now that it finally has some conflict it has gotten better. I like the author's writing style and his characterization is decent.

    4/5
     
  13. Hahukum Konn

    Hahukum Konn Fourth Year

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    I concur. I've been following this fic since it began, and I could see the potential for Harry (James) to run into problems, owing to his arrival in the 1930s and his inability to avert war in the 1940s.

    Also, the last chapter hints at the possibility that even if Harry keeps Tom from becoming Voldemort, another Dark Lord could still rise in the 1960s and 1970s, requiring Harry to continue to exert his skills in order to wipe out Dark Lords. :p
     
  14. japanese_jew

    japanese_jew High Inquisitor

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    A very decent fic, although it seems a little fluffy in parts. It looks like Tom will nicely counteract Harry's do-gooding-ness. It's only Harry-centric around half the time. I'd give it around a 4.4, because the first chapters really irritated me (like everyone else), but I'll rate it a 5 because it's library-worthy.
     
  15. slasheh

    slasheh Seventh Year

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    it's probably the only story i've read which tries to actually describe the Grindewald war and the major characters involved.
    The first chapters are strange and overly fluffy but now with the war on, it has improved a lot.
    I'd say its 4/5 in total.
     
  16. piratekingavenger

    piratekingavenger Backtraced

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    Me mates and I from DarkIrony.Com be lovin' this one; 'tis a refreshing change o' pace from the Harry-as-adoptive-father o' Tom Riddle fic. 5/5
     
  17. snufkin

    snufkin First Year

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    I have to say that I’m surprised this is in the trash bin. Sure, the beginning has a little fluffiness and indy!Harry clichés, but once you get past the first couple of introductory chapters, the story takes an amazing turn.

    The Tom-Harry relationship is only a side-story to the seemingly bigger war between Grindelwald, Hitler and the rest of the magical communities. The fights are well described and add to the plot. The political ramifications are definitely something worth reading. In addition, the whole WWII scenery is well incorporated within the magical community.

    The characters all have their own defining details and personality twists. The Malfoys tend to come out as brain-numbed twits but most characters are intelligent and well spoken. Tommy Riddle, once he grows up and starts to be called Tom Evans has various interesting ways to deal with his alienation from the Slytherin house. The following quote is an extract from chapter 15:

    I admit I sort of disliked the budding fluffy relationship between Harry and Tom and Sarah, but once the family settles down, the story really takes off in directions that I liked. This includes a good pace of plot, interesting fights and a minimum of OCs – most characters are at least related to canon ones.

    Harry is not a goody-goody. He is a war-torn character but still lightly retains his prankster ways. The humour certainly does NOT impinge on the story. In fact, I loved the author’s scatterings of humour to lighten scenes.

    Here’s an example from chapter 15 again, (I don’t know how effective the humour will be, taken out of context like this). Anyhow, Harry’s just fought off a bunch of Dark Wizards that wanted to kidnap the minister’s son, Nott. They’re in the Slytherin common room and the dark wizards are dead, spineless or decapitated.

    All in all, if you get the past the fluffiness of the first chapters, this is definitely an epic story of a lightsided-Harry, unafraid to be cunning and to use dark spells.

    5/5
     
  18. Nexus

    Nexus Denarii Host

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    I have been following this for quite some time now. I concur, this doesn't belong in the trash bin. Oi, Sya get this out of here will you? or anyone for the matter.

    4.5/5.
     
  19. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

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    The typos in this are so bad that I can spot them. That said the plot seems interesting, but the writing isn't very good. It's a little stiff and haulted. I'd say this is 3/5.
     
  20. raja

    raja Fourth Year

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    I just got around to reading this story. This summary put me off for some reason, but once I had started to read the stroy, I actually like it. It doesn't deserve the trash bin in my opinion. I'd rate it a 4/5
     
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