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Animals Unleashed by wilkins75 - Rated M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by tragicmat1, Jun 10, 2011.

  1. tragicmat1

    tragicmat1 Death Eater

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    Title: Animals Unleashed
    Author: wilkins75
    Rating: M
    Genre: Romance
    DLP Category: Naruto
    Pairing: Naruto/Sakura
    Status: WIP
    Summary: With the defeat of the Akatsuki peace seemed to have returned to the world but when an unknown virus strikes. Now a virus that turns people into half animals is spreading and the uninfected are on the run from the infected.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6311647/1/Animals_Unleashed



    The dialogue for this story is a little bit weak at parts, and the writing is only average. However, the plot and the events more than make up for it in my opinion. Perhaps it's because having a breath of fresh air in this fandom is nice, or I just dig zombish/virus stories, but I'm giving this story a higher rating than usual.

    3/5 Edit: I will lower my rating. I guess I put far too little weight on grammar sometimes when judging fanfiction.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2011
  2. ItsAProcess

    ItsAProcess Fourth Year

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    I predict NaruSaku furry-fucking.

    .....

    Oh god, six lines of dialog in and I already want to claw my eyes out

    .....

    Sweet Jesus, terribad grammar and spelling.

    ......

    Telling, not showing.

    1.5/5 rounded down for purpose of voting.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2011
  3. tragicmat1

    tragicmat1 Death Eater

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    I actually predicted that too and was hesitant to continue, but there's actually no sex scenes in the whole story. (Lots of side/passive mentions of it though). Like I said, dialogue is bad, writing is only average, but the idea of the story and how the events played out makes it a nice read. o,o
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2011
  4. ItsAProcess

    ItsAProcess Fourth Year

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    That is not average writing. That is terrible writing.

    I wrote better than that in the fifth effing grade.

    No. Bad fic is bad. Not library worthy. Do Not Want. Would Not Recommend.

    The very, very beginning of the fanfic is about sex. Specifically Sakura dreaming about sex with Naruto. No lead up, no development beforehand, no character depth. Just "OMG Want to fuck him what if someone else fucked him oh no my roomies fuck alot god I want to fuck somebody". It's literary porn done with all the talent of an inattentive third grader. I'm a NaruSaku fan myself, but this is terrible.

    The dialogue isn't just 'a little weak in some parts'. I have yet to read a single section of dialogue that isn't stilted and unnatural. It's made worse by the lack of punctuation and obvious slippery grasp of the english language. Honestly, I wouldn't read this entire fic if it was the last piece of literature on the planet.

    Something can't be a pleasant read if the words that you are reading are unpleasant to look at. No matter how 'awesome' the premise may or may not be. This is Stephanie Meyer level bad.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2011
  5. Aerylife

    Aerylife Not Equal

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    Bad fanfic is very bad
    Stupid furry's should jump off a cliff
    This fanfic is quite unbearable
     
  6. tragicmat1

    tragicmat1 Death Eater

    Joined:
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    Ah, forgive me for posting this then. I will ignore this page and pretend I never posted anything then.