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Black Vengeance by maidros78 - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by The-Hyphenated-One, Jan 26, 2007.

  1. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Black Vengeance-1 by maidros - T

    Title: Black Vengeance-1
    Author: maidros
    Rating: Pg-13
    Genre: Action/Adventure
    DLP Category: Independent
    Pairing: Harry/Hermione or Harry/Cho (author is unsure at this point)
    Status: Wip
    Summary: After the Death of Sirius Black, Harry has problems with trusting people in general, and Dumbledore in particular. He also realized that he cannot do it alone against Voldemort. However, allies are often found in the most unlikely places, and when some Death Eaters trying to escape the Dark Lord make contact with him, he learns some surprising and disturbing truths regarding his own history and the history of his close friends, and supposed enemies. Can he uncover the truth behind why he had to be kept away from the magical world for ten years after his parents death, and how it affected other families? The story is AU, with the HBP and for most part, follows the canon from the first five books, i.e., from PS to OotP. Warning: The story contains a very manipulative and ends-justifies-the-means Dumbledore.

    Link:http://www.ficwad.com/viewstory.php?sid=44447
     
  2. The Dark Monarch

    The Dark Monarch Backtraced

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    For Some reason this just screams redeemed!Draco at me but I'll give it a shot and review after I'm done.
     
  3. Naga's Shadow

    Naga's Shadow Seventh Year

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    Interesting I guess, but with only one chapter done I can't say much.
     
  4. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    Dialogue is horrible and unrealistic. Daphne and Nott 'enlightening' Harry came out of nowhere. Just not a good start, really, 2/5.
     
  5. Tsukiyomi-chan

    Tsukiyomi-chan Squib

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    It has potential, but its only a prologue so far. Ill say something more definitive once there is something to really say anything about.
     
  6. Kari Black

    Kari Black DA Member

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    Only one chapter so far, and it does show some promise as far as the idea of the story goes. However, the dialouge is horrendous and he/she keeps using all these exclamations (Oh! Aha! that sort of thing) and that is driving me nuts. Maybe it will get better, but I'm not holding my breath. 2/5
     
  7. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman Prestige DLP Supporter

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    It was good enough to hook my interest, and I will continue to follow it, assuming it continues.
     
  8. ulkser

    ulkser Groundskeeper

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    it is not very promising with daphne and nott coming out of nowhere. i will review more throughly when i see more of it. for now 2.5/5
     
  9. The Dark Monarch

    The Dark Monarch Backtraced

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    Every story has potential. It just doen't mean that its all good potential.
     
  10. Kari Black

    Kari Black DA Member

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    Well, the second chapter is out. It's a bit better than the first chapter, but the main problem with it is still the dialouge. There is also still the problem of Daphne and Theodore coming out of nowhere, but that could perhapes be explained later in the story. It remaines at 2/5.
     
  11. headbanger22

    headbanger22 Third Year

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    MERGED two duplicate threads into one. That's why the first ten posts seem independent of the rest of these. -nonjon
    _______

    Title: Black Vengeance
    Author: Maidros78
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Mystery
    DLP Category: Independents
    Pairing: HP/HG
    Status: Work in Progress
    Summary: After Sirius' death, Harry has problems trusting people, especially Dumbledore. When some Death Eaters trying to evade Voldemort make contact, he learns curious truths. Can he uncover why he was given to Dursleys? after OotP, AU, manipulative Dumbledore
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3383179/1/Black_Vengeance

    A nice Independent harry story well worth reading it is 16 chapters long
    with a decent update rate 5/5
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2009
  12. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    I could have sworn this was posted on here before......
     
  13. headbanger22

    headbanger22 Third Year

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  14. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Headbanger, if you scroll to the bottom of the page, you will see this.

    Black Vengeance-1 by maidros - T The-Hyphenated-One The Trash Bin 9 01-27-2007 12:25 AM

    It's been trashbinned. It isn't your fault, as the list of deleted links and rejected fics wasn't updated to include this fic.
     
  15. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Good to know I am not taking crazy pills. Anyone have some?
     
  16. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

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    Ya, I remember this being posted before...it bored me and I don't remember why.
     
  17. headbanger22

    headbanger22 Third Year

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    My bad it was not on the lists.
     
  18. maidros

    maidros Fourth Year

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    Interesting - I had not noticed that someone had suggested my story on this board. All in all, if I were writing now, I would make a few changes at the beginning of the story - although I believe that the plot has some novelty in it. IP82 helped me see the problems in the early part of the story (thanks, IP82). Anyways, if you have criticisms, by all means go ahead and I will try to answer any comments.

    Thanks for suggesting the story, by the way..
    Regards,
    Maidros
     
  19. Marie M

    Marie M Raptured to Hell

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    Your comment about IP helping you worked as you intended and I started reading, but I couldn't get past 1st chapter.
    I stopped at
    Just that it total fail, even if IP helped, I won't continue reading
     
  20. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Er, that sounded a mite harsh. But I do agree with it... :)

    The only issue I had with it was that Daphne + Nott came out of nowhere. Harry's enlightenment with the whole Slytherin /= bad is just painful to read. It would have been bearable if it was more subtle, and if it took convincing to sway his viewpoint.