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Complete Bring Me To Life by Luckei1

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by mercuryandglass, Mar 25, 2012.

  1. mercuryandglass

    mercuryandglass Third Year

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2012
    Messages:
    88
    Location:
    Canada
    Title: Bring Me To Life
    Author: Luckei1
    Rating: T
    Genre: Romance
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: Romance
    Pairings: Draco/Hermione, Harry/Pansy
    Summary: Hermione finds Pansy about to jump off a bridge.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3620476/1/Bring_Me_To_Life

    I searched for this and didn't find it so I assume that this hasn't been discovered by you guys yet.

    As to the writing, well, I've seen a lot worse, but generally, it's quite average. The story starts with: "It was a sunny day. The sky was the perfect shade of blue, a few puffy white clouds dotted the expanse, and a cool, spring breeze was blowing. It was the perfect kind of day."

    It's an interesting read, but it's not without faults. Pansy seems a little unrealistic (personality wise) at the beginning, although I do realise the need of it in the plot. I realise how difficult it must have been to write a suicidal character if you don't have any real life experiences. I might like this for the general emotion in it, but others might find it unappealing since it's, first of all, romance, and, second of all, slightly angsty. The angst might have been sugarcoated a bit, but you can still definitely see it. I'd give it a 3.5/5.
     
  2. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    2,231
    Sooo... in the middle of London Hermione coincidentally walks by when Pansy wants to jump from a bridge to commit suicide.

    Pansy was the girl who suggested to hand Harry over to Voldemort during the final battle. Why is Hermione trying to comfort her and have her move in with her? She should encourage her to jump.

    Ok - canon!Hermione probably would try to stop her, but once she was out of danger Hermione would either call someone or punsh her like she did with Draco.


    Silver Cat 777: When I read your review I wondered why you actually posted this in here. If you think it isn't worth 4 stars then you might post it in the "Almost Recommendable" thread but not submit it for review.
     
  3. Innomine

    Innomine Dark Lord ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I saw that the title was the name of an evanescence song, and walked in here expecting a train wreck.

    I was a bit early perhaps, but it has the makings of one.
     
  4. thebrute7

    thebrute7 High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Messages:
    500
    Location:
    Newberg Oregon
    No. Just goddamn no.

    This is not a library worthy piece. The writing is at best decent, and the story is both uninteresting, not to mention contrived.

    And don't even get me started on the utter stupidity of a Draco/Hermione pairing.

    2/5, and I feel I'm being generous.
     
  5. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

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    Again I bring up the suggestion for a Post Requirement.

    On the piece itself, the dialogue/narrative style is pretty poor; it has the feel of a pseudo-script in some areas.

    2/5, and that's because, even with the aformentioned flaw, it's above the average FFn dribble, technically.
     
  6. mercuryandglass

    mercuryandglass Third Year

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2012
    Messages:
    88
    Location:
    Canada
    Newbie mistake. Reposted onto the Almost Recommendable #4. Sorry everyone, do people know how to delete posts?
     
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