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Complete By The Divining Light by enembee - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by enembee, May 12, 2010.

  1. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Title: By the Divining Light
    Author: enembee
    Rating: T
    Genre: AU
    DLP Category: Alternates
    Pairing: Hints of HP/HG
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 24,970
    Updated: January 23, 2010
    Published: July 8, 2009

    Status: Complete
    Summary: "They say that all men are equal in the eyes of death. They say that no matter how far you run, how hard you try; death will find you. They may say it— I intend to prove it." Follow Harry Potter into the depths of magic as he seeks his revenge.
    Link: FFNet PCharm.net

    So this wasn't in the library :/ Who knew?

    Sequel: Conlaodh's Song
    DLP-Library thread: https://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=16823



    Checked by Minion, January 7, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 9, 2013
  2. Oz

    Oz Heir to Hogwarts Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Five stars, baby. <3
     
  3. Poytin

    Poytin The Arby's Hipster DLP Supporter

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    I agree with this statement.
     
  4. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I agree with the above two posters.
     
  5. mike.90

    mike.90 First Year

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    4/5

    I liked your Skitterleap story better, hope you update that now that this is finished.
     
  6. Innomine

    Innomine Auror Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I haven't read the Skitterleap, but this was just fucking epic.

    I honestly want to see the story this is meant to be the prequel of.

    5/5, no questions asked.
     
  7. Custer

    Custer Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

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    Veni Vidi Veni.
     
  8. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    This story is so great it made me cry like a baby. :(

    5/5.
     
  9. psihary

    psihary Groundskeeper

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    ... I've got a polar bear for a neighbour...
    QFT !!1!! o_O

    ... the only problem of the story...

    ... and once again, QFT !!!

    5/5
     
  10. Lokesin

    Lokesin Slug Club Member

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    What the...

    I feel like my brain has just been taken for a rollercoaster ride and I'm really not too sure what just happened.

    It was fun, though. 5/5.
     
  11. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    The imagination put into this piece is probably my favorite part, although if I'm honest, the H/Hr flashback is a definite plus as well. [psiharry: your lips are cordially invited to meet my buttocks]

    There were essentially two parts of this story I didn't love, the first of which is minor:
    In chapter 4, the scene with the uber!boggart for some reason felt off, and I think it was the "barrier" that irked me. Not entirely sure why, but it seemed out of place somehow. I wish I could be more specific, but as I said, it was (for me) a minor interruption in the flow of the story.

    The second problem I had was with the climax of the story. It felt rushed and took me completely by surprise.
    One second Harry is having his ass handed to him by this elf and the next second the elf has been destroyed by the heliopath Harry's been carrying around in his pocket. It just seemed weird that Harry bested the heliopath far more easily, and the heliopath easily obliterates the elf? I know that Harry>heliopath and heliopath>elf doesn't necessarily contradict elf>Harry, since all power isn't equal (besides those "X>Y" not being true), but I hope you see my point.
    Of course, I just reread this part for the review and it didn't seem quite so rushed upon a second reading, but I stand by my position.

    Despite that, I really, really enjoyed the story, especially the Star Stairs and Harry's memories of this AU being interspersed throughout. I see that you've begun the sequel, and was wondering how to pronounce Conlaodh. Is it "Con-LOUD" or maybe "CONE-loud"? Curious to know.

    Overall, I'd still give this a 5/5, because as someone else put it, would I look forward to going back and reading this story again? Was it not just enjoyable but also high quality and worth remembering? Yes to all of the above.

    Excellent work.
     
  12. Juggler

    Juggler Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    I give it a 5/5, but I can see how this story was just a prequel. It does everything a prequel should do right, except stand on its own (I consider Skitterleap a better story, but this is because Skitterleap had a huge, obviously overhanging plot that was usually visible). This showed that it was a prequel, and felt short, but it is very good.
     
  13. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yes. I actually completely agree with you on both of these points.

    I originally had a different plan for the Boggart and was planning on having the scene last a full chapter, but couldn't quite make it fit.

    As for the confrontation between the elf and Harry. Well I've never been 100% happy with the writing itself and I do plan on going back to fix these at a later date when I've got some free time.

    As for the heliopath-elf-harry conundrum (is it just me that can see this making an epic rock-paper-scissors game?) The elf says it best. "You might know the rules of my world, Harry Potter, but you don't belong to it."

    In the grand scheme of things, Harry is in their world, his power is dwarfed by both of theirs whilst in the plain. But he knows the rules they play by and isn't bound by any himself, this gives him the advantage over both of them.

    And as for Conlaodh, as far as I know and barring interjections from one of our Irish members, it's pronounced Kun-Le or Con-Le and means prudent or purifying fire, depending on what source you believe.

    Thanks for all of your comments guys, I seriously appreciate it.
     
  14. Alexeyy

    Alexeyy Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    I have just discovered this story today, and it's amazing! Quite a bit confusing. A whole lot AU. Is that some kind of mix between Dresdenverse and Potterverse magic?

    Starlight stairs: an awesome way to give a backstory!


    I have several issues to comment upon:

    Neville's character is two-dimensional: he is a supposed hero, he is a presence in the story, but in end of the day, it's Harry that duels Voldemort in the Chamber of Secrets and then in the churchyard, it's Harry that faces Sirius Black, etc. etc., and ultimately it's Harry that goes into the cave with Dumbledore. Neville is a useless character, some kind of anti-Gary Stu: he's here for some reason, but he's totally irrelevant to the story.

    As a rule, the protagonist must go to the ultimate battle alone. That's what you did when Harry fought the elf. OK. But Dumbledore disappeared quite conveniently and without reason. Ha-ha, nice! WTF? Even more, the minute the fight is over, Dumbledore comes back. Dumbledore wasn't even allowed the saving grace to die from the fall! (When I wondered where did Dumbledore go I sort of deducted he must be dead since he didn't show up.)

    The ending feels rushed (the avalanche of spelling errors speaks for it): it's like you've wrapped things up with lightning speed, though the fact is, I think I like it. Maybe it was just me wanting to finish reading so I can go to sleep, heh. If you just weed out the errors it'll be perfect.


    P.S. I read it at FF.net, so I'm not sure about the spelling errors in the version that's on WBA, I'm too lazy to compare them, whatever.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2010
  15. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer Prestige DLP Supporter

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    In order:

    No, it's not Dresden magic, just an old-wordly style of magic I mostly invented myself.

    Neville is only ever presented in flashbacks and during conversation, so yes, he's two dimensional. He's the crux that drives the plot, so to speak. He's not really relevant, but is the sole reason for the story. The narrative focuses on Harry and his relationship with Dumbledore more than anything. Neville is the BWL and the Chosen One, but Harry is the hero.

    There's an ambiguity here that's hinted at earlier, when Dumbledore speaks of Elves eating people, he doesn't mean literally. As I said in the post above, this entire scene is something that needs clarification and re-writing.

    Also, spoiler tags would be greatly appreciated.
     
  16. Alexeyy

    Alexeyy Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    I meant that, say both Neville and Harry go into the Chamber of Secrets, but it's Harry that saves the day. Both Neville and Harry are at the Voldemort's resurrection, but it's Harry that duels Voldemort and rescues Neville. This combination of Harry+Neville is kind of Mary Sue-ish: Neville is an insertion ever-present, but Harry is the one who saves the day. What is the use for Neville, but to be the reason Harry and Dumbledore go to the everwell?
     
  17. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Well that's sort of it. Neville exists in this way in the same that any character in any story exists to drive the plot. It's like questioning why the Philosopher's Stone exists in the first Harry Potter book, or why Ginny gets taken to the Chamber of Secrets or why Sirius escapes in the third. Without those things, there wouldn't be much to the story.

    I don't really know what you mean about Mary-Sueish. Harry is the hero of the book, regardless of Neville's scar or prophesy. He only serves as a Princess Peach-esque plot device. A reason for Harry to be a big damn hero and go on his quest.

    What am I missing here?

    Besides, we're re-living Harry's life, not Neville's. It's Neville who protects the Philosopher's Stone, Neville who kills the Basilisk, Neville who beats Harry to the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Neville is just as much a hero as Harry, he just doesn't happen to be the focus of the novel.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2010
  18. KrzaQ

    KrzaQ Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Is that true?
    For me it was pretty clear that Harry was Neville's "power (that Dark Lord knows not)" and that he was Basilisk's killer and Tournament winner (and that Neville was hurt in some other way).
     
  19. Johnny Farrar

    Johnny Farrar Professor

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    IIRC, it is not mentioned anywhere that Harry is Neville's power. It's possible, of course. But Harry did not kill the Basilisk, Neville did, Harry just defeated the Tom Riddle specter. Also, Harry and Neville won the Tri Wizard together. Harry was injured and Neville asked him to share the trophy.
     
  20. Mage

    Mage Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Excellent story, had a much better review written out, but it got deleted for some reason.

    My main question was about Harry hiding his power. Did he act normal until transfiguration, then hide it to avoid attention, then go back to acting normal after second year?

    5/5 and sorry for the crappy review, didn't feel like rewriting it.