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Oneshot Daddy's Girl by EntreNous - NC17

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Alexx, Oct 30, 2013.

  1. Alexx

    Alexx Card Captored and buttsecksed

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    Title: Daddy's Girl
    Author: EntreNous
    Rating: NC-17
    Genre: Romance
    DLP Category: Restricted Section
    Pairing: Harry/Lily Luna
    Status: Complete
    Summary: Everyone knows Lily is Daddy's girl.
    Link: http://entrenous88.livejournal.com/697709.html

    It's well written and I'm actually surprised how well the author made the pairing work. It was a pretty enjoyable read.

    4/5
     
  2. NoxedSalvation

    NoxedSalvation Temporarily Banhammered

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    The story could've done without all the "baby girl" stuff in the first half, that was really offputting in the context of a smutfic. If you have to write incest stories - and I can certainly appreciate the taboo character of those - they really shouldn't contain any references to the childhood and preteen years of the younger character. *At All*. Period.

    An example:

    (Lily is 11 (!!) in this scene)

    "That night when Lily went to bed, she kissed him tenderly again and again, for much longer than she ever had before. Harry was so touched at this that he carried her up to bed and spent a half hour tucking her in, kissing her eyelids, her little rosebud mouth, her pink cheeks and dimples."

    This is pretty disgusting to me.

    The last part of the tension arc - with Lily out of Hogwarts - was hot and if that were the whole thing it would get a 4/5 from me. But the way it is right now, I can't give it more than:

    2/5
     
  3. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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  4. CrippledGod

    CrippledGod Banned

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    My very first thumbs up, I think I used it wisely.
     
  5. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

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    This would be endlessly more amusing as a deconstruction of how messed up this stuff is, instead of just a horribly written smut scene with an amazingly creepy statup.
     
  6. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    My first reaction:

    I want you and the author to die. In a fire.

    My more calm reaction:

    I no longer want you or the author to die in a fire.

    Bullets will do.



    On a serious note, this story is creepy pedo shit that turns into meh smut. 2/5.

    Also, omg, rofl. Did anyone else see the 'fanart' that inspired the fic? Heh.
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2013
  7. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    If I had any more thumbs up to give, you'd get them all.
     
  8. LoyalFenian

    LoyalFenian Fourth Year

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    You two motherfuckers need Jesus

    And a prison cell
     
  9. Hero of Stupidity

    Hero of Stupidity Villain of Sensibility ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    That's what I would expect from Minion and I would know that he was joking in a friendlish stalkery way but Alexx... there are lines dude. Also that fanart is bad. And whoever made it should feel bad.
     
  10. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    She should have been in an accident and broken both of her arms first.
     
  11. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    I love how underage!Harry can bang his mother, but grown-up!Harry can't bang his underage daughter.

    A point nicely made. Well done, Alexx.
     
  12. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It's a matter of perspective. One story is told from the child's POV, the other from the parent's. While I'm not fond of either type of story, there is the matter of an adult-POV story giving off a definite pedo vibe while Harry/Lily is effectively the MILF fantasy of a lot of teenage boys (albeit with a side serving of incest).
     
  13. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    Er, not really. I haven't read any underage!Harry/Lily fic that was well-received in which his prepubescent characteristics and mannerisms were described, and almost seemed to be an integral part of the story. That seems to the be the real issue with this fic. It's not that the Harry/daughter pairing is the problem, but if she acts or is acted upon too much like a child, it becomes too real, and that kills any 'pleasure' people may have obtained from seeing that taboo crossed.
     
  14. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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  15. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The, difference, though, is still quite significant. As a reader you automatically identify with the main character.

    In Harry/Lily stories, you're identifying with Harry, a guy boning a hot redhead, generally in her early twenties. Lily is Harry's mum but she isn't my mum, so I don't have an "ick" reaction.

    In Harry/Lily Luna stories you're identifying with a guy boning a little girl. Even though she's not my daughter she's still a little girl, so it remains distasteful.
     
  16. Alexx

    Alexx Card Captored and buttsecksed

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    Isn't just about every 30-year old Harry goes back into his younger body practically a pedo!fic? This is a dude with a 30 year old mind, a sexual history, just fucking around with a bunch of little kids, going through the motions of first year schooling. And there are loads of them in the Library.
     
  17. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Only the ones that involve romantic relationships between him and his age-peers. Aka the bad ones.
     
  18. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, those are all terrible.

    There is a line to be drawn, too. In a difference between teenagers and pre-teens. Any story about romance with a time traveling!Harry before, say, year four or five is pretty fucking squicky.

    But after that it's not so bad, and if done right could even be enjoyable.

    This is not done right. This is done terribly. It's freaky and wrong.

    @Sesc:

    I want to add to this.

    It might even be acceptable and okay if the story had waited till she was a late-stage teenager. 16, 17, etc etc. That doesn't freak people out in the same fashion. At that point they're not 'children' any more. Oh, sure, not 'adults' either. But it's still not the same as having relations of that nature with an eleven year old.

    Those sort of Harry-Banging-Lily stories are generally more acceptable to people because Ephebophilia is not the same as Pedophilia.
     
  19. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    ...

    I wasn't asking for an explanation. The fact that you (general) are explaining it is exactly my point. You just told everyone "it's fine if I read from the POV of the younger" and "it's hot, but please don't make it realistic". That's just a tiny little bit lolskewedbalance which I appreciate as much an anyone, so I thought I'd point it out.

    Now feel free to carry on reviewing, "reviewing" or reviewing this.
     
  20. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    The hypocrisy in this thread amuses me, admittedly more than the story itself.
    The writing is not good enough to support the premise. Id say this is almost recommended, but not Library material. 3/5
     
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