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Oneshot Deja Vu by Aaran St Vines - PG

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by knothead, Apr 19, 2007.

  1. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2007
    Messages:
    362
    Title: Deja Vu
    Author: Aaran St Vines
    Rating: PG
    Genre: Drama/Humor
    DLP Category: Time Travel
    Pairing: H/Susan
    Published: April 18, 2007
    Words: 1,372

    Status: Complete, Oneshot
    Summary: From the Author's Notes: This idea came to me on the drive in to work this morning. Why does it take Harry years to go back and change things?
    Link: http://aaran-st-vines.nsns.fanficauthors.net/Deja_Vu/Deja_Vu/

    This concisely written one shot rates as a 5/5 in my book.

    Next time put the actual pairing instead of 'Yes :)' -MS


    Checked by Minion, Dec. 6, 2012
    Fixed the link.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 6, 2012
  2. raja

    raja Fourth Year

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    Well written, but that's it. It didn't do anything for me really... 3.5/5 for quality
     
  3. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    Meh. You could summarize this fic in a single sentence, and you'd learn as much and care about the characters just as much. This was too thin for me to care about.

    Bonus points for the ho upgrade, but still only 2/5.
     
  4. huntedorange

    huntedorange Seventh Year

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    Highlands
    I'm with nonjon on this one, it was very basic and didnt capture my attention in any way shape or form. The fact it is well written does give it extra brownie points but apart from that its not great, at all.
     
  5. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Not to bad, but not anything special either. Seemed to be trying for a melancholy feel but didn't quite capture it. 3/5

    Aekiel
     
  6. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    I enjoyed the quick read. He could have fleshed it out more, but even so it had a nice feel to it. Of course, I like a good Harry/Susan story so I'm a bit biased.

    Got a bit of humor that Harry's new best friend had to choose between people calling him Wendell or his nickname of Dung. Pretty rough choice either way...

    4/5

    Jim
     
  7. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    It blows.

    2/5

    But I do love how she (and many other people in general) just assume that writing "copyright" + their name + the year automatically makes something copyrighted.
     
  8. HardcoreHobbit

    HardcoreHobbit Second Year

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    I thought it was written by a guy, because of the name. Incidently, the most basic form of copyright, at least in the UK is a sealed envelope with a postmark, containing the idea. This doesn't really work with webpages, as you can edit them, so unless there is a permanent datestamp, then what I've just said is irrelevant. Especially with fan fiction, as who can prove that you didn't come up with an idea before they posted it.


    In terms of story, it was a solidly written yet hopelessly uninvolving one shot, that was too short. It really lacked any sort of idea and really doesn't make 100% sense, to me anyway.

    I do agree with jbern though, H/Susan is good. Very good. But I can't give any bonus points to a story that I just didn't like, and wouldn't recommend.

    1.5-2/5 for the solid writing style but lack of story.
     
  9. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    Next time put the actual pairing instead of 'Yes :) ' -MS

    So, pairing always-- even if it's a spoiler.

    Thanks. I appreciate the clarification. I wondered because I read that putting the pairing is required; however, I've also seen people make comments here more than once that revealing spoilers was also a bad thing. I wasn't sure which was the lesser evil, so I decided to post first and apologize later if/when needed.

    My apologies.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2007
  10. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

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    Totally pointless. This was a waste of my time.

    It wasn't bad though, just not good in anyway.
     
  11. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Counter-Revolutionary Other Guy Admin

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    I concur with that, and knock a star off for the "Harry has a sister and omfgbbq she's the Minister of Magic".

    Your 'elite amateur author'ness fails to impress, Aaran St Vines.

    1/5
     
  12. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    This confused me so I had to look it up. I'm not sure you even care at all, but it was Amelia Bones who is Minister in the changed future, not Harry's sister. Susan's follow up line about how they got 'Aunty' elected clarified that.

    Not sure why people think it's melancholy. This is a happy ending sort of thing just without any conflict. If anything, it's a moral we can all agree with: unless Harry's beaten, abused, and grows up unloved, then he'll probably know he can do a lot better than Ginny.

    And in my opinion a pairing should never be a spoiler. It's too invested an issue for most people. If you write a fic with Harry/Slytherin girl and at the end twist it and give readers a Harry/Ginny thing, you'll piss off a lot of readers (as Jeconais found out). Just like tossing in slash out of nowhere should earn you some caustic flames. These are fictional characters often written out of character, but still. If you know the ending pairing, include that in recommendations. You can still leave it semi-hidden if you want. For example on this one you could have put "Pairing: starts Harry/Ginny, ends Harry/[secret other canon girl]" so people'd know the important bits.

    And I still don't recommend this fic so I'm not sure why I'm still talking here.
     
  13. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

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    Because he's a member of FFA.net? :p
     
  14. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

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    There are certain pairings that aren't tolerated and there needs to be a warning. I, and I'm sure most people here, will be pissed off if I click a link and find Harry turn into a back-door bandit overnight...
     
  15. Athenia

    Athenia Groundskeeper

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    I knew going into it is was a one-shot and I probably should have taken that into account as I got half-way through it and thought about how I was really enjoying it so far before it all ended. It is one of those stories that you wonder if the author just had a picture of Harry disappearing as a candle lights stuck in his head and somehow wanted to write a fic around that scene. The first two scenes had a lot of potential and a lot of questions that if you dug for them made it so that this fic either has a lot of plot holes that could be answered but never will be or either could have been developed into a real story.

    Rather than the latter approach, the first two scenes get wrapped up with a scene that makes it feel like the author of a long story had to end the story, but was no longer motivated so they tacked on an "epilogue" with characters talking and telling us how it all ended so we didn't read the whole thing. Obviously between the second and last scene, not much could actually be told, but it still felt like there was that tacked on ending feel that made the good parts of the first two parts seem even more disappointing to me.

    1.5-2/5
     
  16. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    As far as longer works are concerned, I agree with you that a pairing should never be a spoiler. For shorter works such as "Deja Vu," I believe allowances could be made if it's a pretty big part of the story. I like your pairing suggestion idea.

    Right. Rest assured that if there had been slash, I would have mentioned it if I thought the story necessitated a post in the For Review section. That being said, the chances of me thinking that such stories are worthy enough to be nominated are very low since Harry's sexuality is well-established in canon.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2007
  17. LT2000

    LT2000 Heir

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    I dunno, brah. Ginny seems pretty ambiguous to me...