Title: Don't Disrespect the Queen
Author: Perspicacity
Rating: M
Genre: Adventure/Humor
DLP Category: The Alternates (Harry Potter/The Highlander movie crossover)
Pairing: None
Words: 16,099
Published: July 10, 2011
Status: Complete (one-shot of novelette length)
Summary: The powers of the immortals unite in the one receiving the Prize. In the Highlander film, upon defeating the Kurgan, Connor MacLeod receives the gift of telepathy, but what if he were also gifted with magic?
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7165521/1/

Perhaps a bit of a stretch to imagine placement in the Library, but what the heck. This story finished a close second in the DLP June Crossover contest and it's been cleaned up and revised slightly from the contest piece. It generally follows the events of the first Highlander film and fourth Harry Potter book, but may deviate in a few places from television Highlander canon.

Edit: Having seen the first Highlander film is not required, though at least having read a plot summary would help with context.


Checked by Minion, January 11, 2013

 

Are you kidding? This definitely deserves a place in the library. 5/5, easy.

 

I can't claim to be an expert on Highlander but I enjoyed the story. There were a few parts like Lily flashing Voldemort that made it feel like more of a humor than anything. Without a real conflict I have to give this a 3.5/5 rounded to a 4/5. It was good, but not what I was expecting.

 

No one likes false modesty, Perspicacity.

Very strong, smooth reading. The sudden bursts of casual humor are really funny.

4.5/5.

 

I"m going to have to give this a 3/5, its written well and will keep most people reading to the end, but I just don't feel that it works as a story.

I had two feelings while reading this, first that the crossover element wasn't really developed sufficiently for it to be plausible that these two worlds were living side by side. So I couldn't really get into it that way, and I guess that lead to my second problem that the characters didn't really engage me. The best character was MacLeod which was strange since he wasn't really driving the plot.

I understand that the limits imposed by a one shot are largely to blame for both of these, but I guess that is my problem. It feels like it ought to be a much bigger story and it doesn't really work because of that.

*One note, the stuff with Harry's Quickening before he goes to Hogwarts works really well. I'm not sure if it could be carried through to a standalone Immortal!Harry goes through Hogwarts story, but that was more interesting for me then what came later.

 

I love this story Pers. If it didn't work so well as a one-shot, I'd ask that you try to write a longer Highlander fic.

The only thing that kinda bugged me -- and maybe I'm wrong since I'm not that knowledgable about Highlander -- but I thought it was only after an immortal's first death that they stopped aging? So, technically, shouldn't Harry have been a toddler throughout the story?

Again, it's not a big deal, and I can obviously see why you didn't go that route, but it gave me pause when I was first reading through it.

Regardless, love the story. 5/5.

Edit: And now having seen your comment about the story deviating slightly from Highlander Canon, I feel like an idiot.

 

Awesome story. I really liked this. 5/5 from me.

 

1. Fuck Queen (yeah I said it.)*

2. Well-done one-shot. Still enjoyed it, despite my rusty memory of Highlander. And it's been a long, long time since I've read an HP fic that featured a katana without me raging.

4/5

 

Heh. Highlander: a Queen music video with swords. That's about all you need to remember.

 

2/5

While this does feature Pers's great technical writing and his decision to merge the Highlander and Potter series, I feel it is dragged down by a lot of things:

1. The crossover in particular. I don't feel that this crossover is a well-merged one, if simply because the properties in question are rather different, and because I view Highlander as having ended with the first movie to save my mind the trouble of trying to make them all fit in the same continuity.

2. The interactions between McLeod and Potter. Try as I might, it feels forced, unnatural. I can't take their dialogue seriously (well, mostly Harry's, McLeod's generally fine). It's also in that same category I place how Harry get's looked over by the females of Hogwarts. Explained rather well, but considering how Indi! Harry that is, I'm more than a little dissapointed it came from you. Especially since the Hogwarts robes don't seem form fitting enough to help show that sort of physical improvement.

3. Mournblade. The name alone is irritating, and how it's kept on his person irritated me further.

4. McLeod as Professor and his and Harry's reactions to the prank. First is necessary to the plot but still completely detrimental to the actual teaching of magic to the students, and I can't imagine Dumbledore would go for him instead of Moody when both are capable wizards. The second just seemed like a hamfisted way for you to reveal Harry's new skills to everyone.

5. How Hermione is treated by McLeod and how it's played for laughs by the teachers. Do I even need to point out this comes off as bashing?

6. Potter defeats a dragon with a sword. A sword. Unless I'm mistaken, the ability to use a sword does not mystically grant you the ability to defeat a dragon. Michael Carpenter and Saint George needed God on their side to pull it off.

7. Ginny? Why was Ginny in here? At all? Just to seperate Harry and Ron more? See point 5.

8. Harry beating three wizards. He's a trained swordsmen by your description, they're three teenagers barely trained to defend themselves (Well, Draco was half-trained). Explain to me how this proves swords are better than magic. Also, McLeod bashes on Malfoy. I don't recall him ever being that childish in the movie. Addendum: Why is the Sphinx afraid of the sword?

9. The ending. It's all just so anti-climactic, which you even note. Why didn't you have Voldemort discover his Immortal status and the Quickening to create a sword-fight scene is unknown to me, but that was your choice.

*awaits NO U from Pers fans & adult response from Pers himself*

 

I have fans?

I don't recall the etiquette for replying to criticisms in a For Review thread, so I sent a PM.

I appreciate your candor and comments, Hashasheen. For some of them, I think you're on the mark; for others, I think you might have missed the point of what I was trying to do with the story (undoubtedly because of inexpert execution on my part and because humor writing is often "hit or miss"). Thanks again for the feedback!

 

I thought sword was the answer to the riddle?

 

NO U.

/10chars

 

Hardly thoughtful. It was a tad rude in retrospect how I said it.

Spoiler

Hm... Maybe that was where the underlying problem I had with the story comes from. You're more of a serious writer from what I remember in Dagger and Rose, and you pull that off rather well. Harry Potter humor doesn't seem to work as easily for you.

Good point. I'd forgotten the Station to Hogwarts part. I'll add that to my next post.

Moorcock.... *googles* Ah, the writer of the Nomad of the Time Streams series. He's a good writer. And that explains the naming. I guess a shout-out to such a great writer is understandable.

True, but the mark of a good author is to explain or get around such problems. And you're definitely a good writer, which makes it disappointing when there are Indy! Harry staples in your work.

I looked down to see what this means and with that in mind, I really can't blame you for a rushed job.

Spoiler

Trust me, a lot of bashing fics usually have the person bashed come off as actually doing the right thing but getting maligned for it. So that is where my perception came from. And at the same time, a comedic scene could have been made without it being at the cost of a main character who is Harry's friend. If your goal was to slowly distance his friends from him, then it worked, but a tad hamfisted.

Spoiler

Good point, but counterpoint. That theme really doesn't help in the story's making and it it points to how the two series don't mesh well.

Would Dumbledore actually do that, though? It hurts the spirit of the Task and doesn't exactly impress when compared to the fact that her savior drowned himself multiple times over to save her.

Spoiler

Meh, DLP's gotten soft on Ginny for a while now. But in that regard, it was an excellent move to do, if vague in introduction. Perhaps if Harry had gone with Ginny to the dance and faded off after-wards for a scene with The Grey Lady it would have presented both facets well.

Interesting.

Ah.

Damn, completely forgot about that.

:facepalm Can't believe I misremembered the scene minutes after reading it. I need to fill up my medication.

Jesus, Pers, wish you had put that up. I would have been much more easy going on what could have been. With the explanations you gave for scenes and this limitation in mind, it's much more understandable and easily a 3 or 3.5.

Not at all. You're one of my Top 10 favorite writers in the fandom.

 

May want to use a few spoiler tags, just in case someone comes across the thread who hasn't read the story.

 

Well, this fic is a disappointment for me. It's not bad per se, but seeing Harry Potter/The Highlander crossover I was expecting something epic. Instead I got something not even along the lines of humor, but a parody fic. Which wouldn't be bad, if I found it really funny and I didn't.

Like Pers said - humor writing is often hit or miss. In my case it missed. 3.5/5 from me, because it's still a good piece of fanfiction (not sure which way I will round it up yet).

 

That enough spoiler tags for you? :awesome

 

A 5/5 from me.

That was hilarious....

 

Going to have to back up Hashasheen here unfortunately. I get that it was supposed to be a parody of those stories where x original character/OOC canon character/cross-over character trains Harry and/or comes to Hogwarts and totally owns canon and helps Harry to do the same in 'hilarious' and/or 'awesome' fashion... but sadly to me this story was so lacking in both hilarity and awesomeness that it just came across as one of those stories. Except with better spelling.

From you, Perspicacity, a true disappointment.