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WIP Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Moridin, Jul 1, 2012.

  1. Moridin

    Moridin Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Title: Dreaming of Sunshine
    Author: Silver Queen
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure
    Status: WIP
    Fandom: Naruto
    Pairings: None, so far
    Summary: Life as a ninja. It starts with confusion and terror and doesn't get any better from there. OC Self-insert
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7347955/1/Dreaming_of_Sunshine

    As the summary says, this is an OC self insert. Despite the inherent limitations of that genre, this is easily one of my favourite Naruto fanfics, if not the favourite. The characterisations are brilliant, the tone is set properly, and the SI's knowledge of the Narutoverse is enough to make her more than random bystander #2 but not quite enough to keep her from getting her ass kicked every now and then - she certainly isn't overpowered by any definition.

    It's already been posted in the Quality Naruto Fics thread, and people seemed to like it, so I was surprised it wasn't already in the library. Easily a 5/5 from me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 7, 2015
  2. Jarsha

    Jarsha Sixth Year

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    I remember enjoying this, while not perfect; it was good enough to hold my attention for a few hours. Grammar was decent, the plot wasn't completely disgusting and the characters weren't completely destroyed in the authors attempt to add an OC into the mix.

    Overall? 3.5/5 possibly rounded up if the author manages to pull off something that attracts enough interest for a re-read.
     
  3. Sin Saiori

    Sin Saiori Death Eater

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    Yes. A thousand times, Yes. This is easily one of the best Naruto fics I've read recently.

    My review from the Quality Naruto Thread:
    I'm not exactly a OC-SI expert, but this story strikes me as being the best they either can or have to offer.

    The main character is not a Mary Sue by any stretch of the term, the action and dialogue are engaging, and it's honestly enjoyable. This is one of the few stories I have no hesitancy recommending.

    5/5 for quality, consistency and overall enjoyment.
     
  4. LT2000

    LT2000 Alchemist

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    Doesn't seem like something that would be my cup of tea. If it's not Naruto-centric I'm not interested.
     
  5. Mutton

    Mutton Auror

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    That was strangely enjoyable for a SI fic. As in, I completely forgot about it but for the rare occasions I was reminded in the text. 4/5, as the last few chapters have been kind of dull but it seems to be picking up
     
  6. merchantofam

    merchantofam Fifth Year DLP Supporter

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    As far as SI fics it's not bad. However, the pace at which the the plot travels leaves something to be desired.
     
  7. pepper

    pepper First Year

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    Every new story arc seems to be prefaced by her remembering how she's forgotten all the pertinent details. 2/5
     
  8. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    Outstanding story and really one of my favorites. It is quite charming and it holds the attention. Not perfect by any means but still among the best fanfiction has to offer for Naruto, imo.

    Really has been some time a Naruto story grabbed me like this-

    5/5
     
  9. Mutton

    Mutton Auror

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    I kind of feel like having it be an original character instead of just having these occasional "oh I remember this part sort of kind of not really" SI story would enhance it quite a bit. I mean hell, it's HARD to write a good OC protagonist in fanfiction and this author does it quite well
     
  10. Uncle Stojil

    Uncle Stojil Auror

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    This plus the unexplained 180° turn in the characterization of the insert really grated me. I dropped it after a while. Refreshing start, though.
     
  11. Ayreon

    Ayreon Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    I found it really enjoyable.
    No bashing of characters is a great plus.

    A minor gripe with the story is, that it's at times a bit too close to canon, it could definitely deviate a bit more from the standard story. I also dislike the inclusion of so many of the anime filler episodes and the movies. I don't really care about them, they don't add anything to the story in my opinion.

    Overall a 4/5 if you don't dislike anything that isn't Naruto-centric.
     
  12. knight504

    knight504 The Chosen One

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    This is a great story and from what I've heard about SI-fics, that's quite an accomplishment. I've only read one other SI which was relatively well-written to so I can't make any proper comparisons.

    The SI is realistic and interesting; she's more than an insignificant bystander but still does her best to change the Narutoverse for the better. She's not overpowered but competent and, in terms of abilities, fits in well with the rest of the Rookies.

    The fact that she's isn't some otaku who's memorised everything in Naruto is something I find refreshing. She can never be sure that she's making the right changes and is shown to the reader how difficult it is to analyze the events when she's actually living through them.

    The characterisations and interactions are engaging and the writer shows some interesting insight on how various things work in that world. The changes she's made so far aren't that big in the short-term but we can see they'll be great effects in long-terms.

    My only problem is that it can be a bit too much like canon at certain times, especially with how she follows anime fillers arcs. Though fortunately, she limits those missions to rather short chapters so they don't drag on.

    4/5 with definite potential to reach 5/5 in the future.
     
  13. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Read it recently and I must say, I loved it.

    The characterizations aren't as great as everyone says, imo, because they're a bit... caricatured, I think.

    But the OC is actually a really bright spot, in my opinion. And I think it's still updating! That's rare.
     
  14. Sol

    Sol High Inquisitor

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    I read this as well based on this recommendation thread, and was sadly disappointed. I wanted to like it, but I just couldn't for a number of reasons. Foremost, the writing. Technically speaking, with the exception of the overuse of some phrases (i.e. "blur of shunshin speed"), it was sound. However, the author has a really hard time with showing what is going on rather than telling the reader what's happening. Though told in first person, I didn't ever feel like I was actually in the moment, but was being told about it after the fact. There are a couple of areas where she's a bit better about this (see: Orochimaru fight in Forest of Death), but overall I wasn't ever hooked to the story.

    Because of this, the attention to detail is somewhat lacking throughout the story. I never got a real sense of what Shikako was sensing. This would be a much larger and more evident problem if the story didn't faithfully retread ground that's been work flat by years and years of fanfiction going over the same areas. In short, she relies on the reader's familiarity with fanfiction and the Naruto world to fill in the background of Shikako's droning. I don't even have a picture in my head of what Shikako looks like.

    Speaking of Shikako, and the author I suppose, she's consistently one dimensional and has no character flaws whatsoever. Being shy when you're younger isn't a character flaw. Neither is being too weak to currently protect yourself and your friends from S-Rank ninjas. Being cripplingly afraid of Kyuubi's chakra because she's innately chakra sensitive is not a character flaw. She's a Mary Sue in this regard, and I've yet to see her make a real mistake that has actual consequences.

    Secondary characterizations haven't been exceptional either. The author/main character focuses on Sasuke's development and interactions with the self-insert to the exclusion of nearly everyone else. Naruto is basically the same person he's been the entire story, no evolution whatsoever. You could replace him with Kiba and it would make almost no difference to the story.

    The tertiary characters are pretty well done to the limited extent that we see them. Sakura, Kakashi, Shikaku, Yoshino, etc. are all refreshingly different in the context of the story that when they showed up to interact with the self insert it was the only time I didn't feel like I was slogging while reading.

    The villains have been pretty boring. Even during the Orochimaru fight I didn't feel any menace or danger. Gaara felt like a foregone conclusion. The brief fight in the stadium against the masses of enemy shinobi was more interesting.

    The plot has been largely a humdrum retelling of canon with some anime filler thrown in, and as far as I can tell her limited foreknowledge from being reincarnated in Naruto's world has played so little a role as to be largely irrelevant. Sure, it gives the self insert a motivation for trying to be "special," I guess, but it isn't particularly distinct from any other reasoning (protecting my precious people!) and hasn't led to a severe divergence from canon, despite the self insert's hand-wringing over it.

    Pet peeve: She's learning Sealing, which is basically Naruto's birthright, and would be an excellent vehicle for character growth for Naruto because it allows him to connect with his Uzumaki ancestry, his parents, the Kyuubi, Gaara, his Godfather, and his status as a jinchuriki and explore the accompanying emotional conflict and resolutions of those associations, yet its the Self insert learning it and getting tips from Jiraiya so we can have water scrolls to fight Gaara and the secondary characters can make stupid jokes.

    I give it a 2.5 for the solid writing and dialogue and semi-decent characterization of background characters. Loses points for weak description, too much exposition, overly narrow focus of primary characterization, unsympathetic protagonist, and a rather uninteresting plot.
     
  15. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I read this quite some time ago. And while the writing is solid and quite a bit of the dialogue was good.. it was still something I had to kind of slag my way through. I just was not interested in the OC in the slightest, and quite a bit of the plot was stilted or flat out boring.

    3/5, fair, but not library worthy.
     
  16. Jeopardizer

    Jeopardizer First Year

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    Short review: The SI isn't really relevant. Discovering the Naruto world could have been done with a simple OC and beyond that, her SI-ness doesn't do anything (except angsting about Sasuke).

    She is over-powered, maybe not in a "I break reality" way nor in a "I'm the second coming of Itachi" way, but still. Her disability is in fact an overpowered boon without drawbacks.

    I disliked her giving up to Shikamaru and the rest has already been told.

    3/5, maybe 3.5.

    And I can't stand her use of italics. (I have other beefs with the fic, but it's more of a personal dislike for the writing style.)
     
  17. BombTheHarbor

    BombTheHarbor Second Year

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    I just read all 61 chapters of this in a 2 day time span, so it is definitely an enjoyable read, which is something I didn't think I'd ever say about a self insert. Though as someone mentioned above, it would be better if instead of calling it a self insert it was just made to be an OC.

    A few minor things are bothersome but thankfully they are very, very few and far between. I grimace on the rare occasion the author says something like, "I felt like sweat dropping."

    It does drag in some places, mostly because it follows canon missions and plot lines so closely, I feel like I know what's going to happen next all the time. In the latest chapters Sasuke has made the decision not to defect so hopefully the author will be forced to write original content during the time skip years.

    One other problem is Naruto's character, which I feel is completely dumbed down in comparison to every other character of the same age group, with the exception of Kiba. I feel like if every other 12 year old in the fic is going to be a genius or make great insights,
    Then Naruto can be stepped up a little and be a much more enjoyable character.

    I do have to say the author does a great job of not overpowering the characters too much and keeping it within reason... I'll definitely stick with this and I'd like to say good job to the author, and thanks for writing it (If she reads these posts, that is.)
     
  18. PpJt

    PpJt Second Year

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    I agree with the above post largely. While it's practically a rehash of canon at this point, it looks like it will get more original soon. I actually came into reading this incredibly skeptical, self inserts are never good. Until this it seems.
     
  19. Vesvius

    Vesvius High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    This just updated, FYI.

    When I first read this, I wasn't really sure how much I liked it. But after I caught myself rereading it a few times, despite remembering what happened, I've got to put it in my top tier of Fanfics. 5/5.

    Reading this has kind of gotten me on a kick for more decent SI/OC Naruto fics. Anyone know any good ones?
     
  20. Moridin

    Moridin Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    IIRC the author links a couple of other SI fics in one of the first few Author Notes. I couldn't really get into them, but might want to check them out.

    Edit: These two.