Title: Embers of Loyalty
Author: Aria Gray
Rating: T (possibly M in the future)
Genre: General/Suspense
DLP Category: Dark Arts
Pairing: None so far
Chapters: 17
Words: 66,549
Updated: January 27, 2008
Published: October 4, 2007
Status: Abandoned
Summary: Even Dumbledore makes mistakes. The Horcrux in Harry didn't die that night, and now Voldemort is alive in Harry. Can Harry learn to control the evil within? Or will a new Dark Lord emerge?

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3819197/1/Embers_of_Loyalty

I didn't see it in the library and the search engine didn't bring anything up so I figured I would post it.

I liked it. So far it is turning out to be a decent Dark Lord Harry fic.

4/5


Checked by Minion, Nov. 23, 2012

 

Hmm... I prefer fics where Harry becomes evil on his own accord, not due to possession or powerful influence of some force/artifact. The only exception is Azkaban. Ok, dementors have an impact on Harry but screw them. Azkaban!Harrys are still fun.
In any case, I'll give it a try and post my opinion on it later.

 

It is not perfect, but it is entertaining. The first chapter isn't great, but it gets better. I enjoy the Hermione vs. Harry aspect a lot.

4/5

 

not bad. the first couple of chapters were excellent really, but by the end of what he's got written Tom has pretty much completely taken over. The speech patterns, the plotting and self aggrandizing, Pretty much the whole schmere is Voldimort.

it' started good, but I'm afraid the latter chapters have proven that it was all just a setup to write a competent Voldimort fic. It's fairly obvious that the Deus Ex on this one will be 'Harry's Wuv' for everyone shining through at the last moment when Voldimort either tries or succeeds in killing RW and HG.

Pluses include Bill being a Lying Asshole, the annihilation of the Hogwarts centaurs, the Destruction of the Goblin council, The subversion of Ginny, And the Complete Pwnage of Lucius.
Downsides include R&H leading the order. R&H having waited over five years for Harry's return so they could be married, Ginny's Wuv of harry Keeping her from dating anyone in the five years since he left. Hagrid bawling when he found out that harry's gone Dark rather than just trying to rip him limb from limb, and a Political!Harry/Voldimort 'Hybrid' having pathetically transparent scemes.

Well Written, but lacking the flair necessary to make it extraordinary.

3.7/5

 

It isn't the greatest story in the world, but its not horrible. I generally dislike Voldemort!Harry, but this one doesn't urk me so much as the rest. The largest complaint I have is that the ending, Radeemed!Harry, is hugely obvious.

4/5 if not for the obvious end coming, 3.5/5 as it stands now.

 

MS's What Lies Beneath and Amerision's Temptations of a Dark Soul are better for those who want to read a fic of this type. It's Okay, but a bit dull.

3/5

 

It's not one of those epic fics you remember fondly, however it's not a waste of time either. For me, so far, it's above average, good time killer.

4/5

 

It's good at the beginning, but it starts to become a bit boring towards the later chapters. I like the dark Harry in the first few chapters, but the whole Voldemort taking over thing really sucks.

3/5 - Not horrible, but not that good either.

 

I have a feeling this will go the way of a redemption type fic... has the author said anything hinting either way?

As of now, 3.5/5. Not great, but still very good. The possible redemption aspect dropped it from a 4.

 

I've just discovered this site and I have to say, judging from what I've seen of the rest of this site, I'm really quite flattered that my story has been called "a good time killer," and "not horrible."

I do feel a bit of a need to defend myself in one respect though: While the redemtion aspect of this story may seem inevitable, I like to think that I'm not quite that predictable. While I don't entirely go for the same themes that the people on this site generally seem to, I'm not all flowers and sunshine either. That's not to say that the ending will necessarily please you, but I don't think it's quite what you're expecting. I don't want to give away the ending, but rest assured, Harry is not just going to suddenly realize the error of his ways, link arms with Ron and Hermione (who have of course forgiven him for all the death and destruction) and skip off happily into the sunset.

Hmm...or maybe they will. That actually doesn't sound too bad. All we need now is for everyone Harry loved to come back from the dead, and they can all go to the circus too! And unicorns! I'll have to think about that.

But anyway, thanks for giving it a chance! I really am flattered by the mediocre reviews!

 

Yes, people here are very harsh critics...
This is the first fic with Voldemort!Harry so I really can't give a good critic.
I can tell you that your story is overall a pretty good job.