It's undoubtedly been done before, but I was wondering if any other authors had any particularly inspired reviews they'd want to share. I'm always grateful for a review - seriously - and I'm in no way advocating the mocking of those who read what we churn out... but there's the occasional one that's good for a laugh (and which certain members of the board will no doubt agree with);

...and my personal favourite;

​

So excluding anything Jigokuno's had to say, any to share? I'm sure you can beat my humble contribution.
​

 

Lol yes, saw it afterwards. Couldn't locate it in search though I was sure it existed. If anyone asks, was avoiding a necro xd

I have seen Robert's reviews before :facepalm pretty sure he's mentally handicapped, or at least his parents are. I'm currently embroiled in a PM argument with someone who is insisting that the Assassin's Creed storyline in the first game took place in 1192 BC instead of AD. As in, actually. It began with this review;



I'm thinking it's probably a troll, but he's awfully convincing.

Edit: @Hero,

Literally the first avenue I pursued, before they quite reasonably pointed out that they knew it was the C15th AD they referenced in the review, but that because it was in Jerusalem part one had to be in BC.

 

Or maybe he/she doesn't know the difference between BC and AD...A common mistake I might add, when somebody is stupid or haven't reached the point of their education where they learn history. Or a troll.:facepalm

 

Others have read this in another thread, but one of my favorites has to be the following review of Hallows and Pathos on SIYE. On the site, star ratings accompany the reviews; you can rate from 0.5 stars to 5 stars. I received 0.5 stars. (I think I may have touched a nerve).

For the record, the category and warnings on the story were: "Drama, Tragedy - Warnings: Dark Fiction, Death, Disturbing Imagery, Mild Language, Violence". Hardly sunshine and butterfly kisses.

 

Best and worst review I've ever had.

 

Pers: could you really expect any other response after posting a fic that kills off Ginny on a rabidly H/G site?

 

This guy constantly reviews my stories with the stupidest things (I'm pretty sure he does it with every story he reviews), but this one on "The Weapon Revised!" takes the cake methinks.

...The fuck?

 

Holy crap, there really are more stupider people than me in this world!

 

True, though I do bring her back to life with the Hallows...

(And then send her through the veil...)

 

And that makes you as evil and hilarious as your avatar.

 

Just for funzies, I did a google search just to see what else this guy says in reviews.

To prove I'm not making this shit up:

site:fanfiction.net "reviews for" "Hanzo of the Salamander"

Of the first 5 links google churned out, here are a few of his most... common... reviews.

The above review was in two of the stories. I must note he does also do other one word reviews such as: ♥enjoyable♥, ♥excellent♥, ♥exquisite♥, ♥Awesome♥ (three times!), ♥. brilliant♥, and ♫ interesting ♫

Or my favorite, simply: ♥

:facepalm

This one, three times.

This one, four times.

This one, five times.

WTF? Was he dropped on his head? Google has eight fucking pages of this shit, and this is from just the first five links!

Arrghfuck!

 

I believe this, due to his decision to share it with someone new, is worse than everything.

 

Those are the lyrics to the song called "Ride on Shooting Star." It's the ending theme to an anime called Fooly Cooly (AKA: Furi Kuri, FLCL).

It's a Japanese band (The Pillows? I think) that sings in English with some of their lyrics. Like "Grunged hamster."

It's still incredibly stupid, though.

 

Dropped on his head and more, I expect.

 

It is The Pillows. Or as they are more commonly known around the world: Concentrated Awesome In Band Form.

 

I tried watching that a few years ago, but when a robot or something grew out from a horn on the main guy's head I suddenly realized there were other things I could be doing with my time and edged away from my computer, slowly.

 

Blasphemy. Fooly Cooly is utterly random, but its fucking epic. Its only six episodes. Give it a chance, fag.

 

Aw, he's not that bad. At least he gives reviews to multiple chapters of the same story he likes.

 

Me Myself and Irving
2011-01-12 . chapter 4
My name is Harry. I am one-four years old. I am retarded. I have a friend. Her name is Hermione. She spelled that for me. She is a great friend. She does all my thikning for me. It is nice. She is a goddess. She is never wrong. It helps a lot. I owe her everything. I owe her my life. Choking to death on your own drool is a bad way to die. Hermione keeps me from dieing like that. She spelled that too. When I grow up I want to be just like my friend. She says I'd need to see a doctor first. My bits and pieces would need to be removed. I see the doctor next week. My friend promises to keep them in her purse once they are removed. I am lucky to have a friend like Hermy-own-niny. I spelled it that time.

GAUGH!

Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. Seriously, though... that is basically the Harry and Hermione you are presenting. Not sure if that is by design or a subconscious manifistation of your own desires. Either way it's bloody annoying. The actual letters part isn't bad, but the rest leaves a lot to be desired.

Good luck with this fic in the future.
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I found this particular review for Letters, a new Harry/Fleur fic by TheEndless7. If I were the author of this fic, I'm not sure if I'd take this as an insult, an act of constructive criticism, or pure nonsense.