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Fanfictions most terrible spells

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Seratin, Dec 13, 2007.

  1. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I recently read a fanfic that was pretty terrible, but what got me most of all was the awful spells created by the author.I dont think that "sleepio" counts as a proper spell.

    Has anybody actually seen any spell worse than that?
     
  2. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Golden Patronus Admin

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    Not fanfiction, but canon.

    Erecto.

    She should of thought a bit harder before giving that incantation.
     
  3. Gabrinth

    Gabrinth Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Here is one of my own from when I was twelve or so:

    Spikus Maximus... It shot out a bunch of spikes. 0_o;
     
  4. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    explodio bombardo, a spell that... wait for it... Causes objects to explode!

    Lets see.. Op stay Oving May (I loath pig latin in fanfics)

    Spellio Reversio, Cractus maximus,

    and we can't forget plain old 'STOP' which can somehow freeze a killing curse/Incindio/Crucio/Fireball/Hail of enchanted swords/ Ect ad nausium... But only for harry, and the first time it's aways when his friends/Random self-insert crush is about to be hit. Of course thereafter he can do it at will because he had his friends and/or Random self-insert crush helped him practice it for an hour and motivated him with their 'Totally Powerful Luv and Schmexy Bod.'
     
  5. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    And let us not forget the ever detestable "MAGICUS TEMPUS EXTREMOS"
     
  6. Methene

    Methene Auror

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    What really peeves me is when authors decide to not invent new more powerful spells, but simply use uberfied canon ones.

    Lumos Maximus

    Stupefy Maximus

    Protego Maximus.

    And the list could continue, sadly...
     
  7. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    Erecto Maximus?

    *ducks*
     
  8. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Any spell with the word maximus as part of the incantation is a case of life failure,and the author who wrote it deserves pitchfork rape.
    eg, crucio maximus..........

    On a lighter note........castratio :banana:
     
  9. Koalas

    Koalas First Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Going with the 'Max' vibe, the spell that first first shoved the fact that there are a lot of retarded fanfiction authors out there...

    ...Crucio Maximos...

    I can't, and don't want to remember what fic this spell came from. The description was, 'The max-powered form of the Crucio curse' (?). Is Crucio not the most POWERFUL torture curse ever created? Is that not why it is an Unforgivable?

    And the most retarded thing was the spell was unchanged. It did the exact same thing as Crucio, except with another word in the incantation.

    EDIT: Just remembered another spell form the same fic.

    Avada Kadavra Maximus.

    Basically an AK Bomb, created a 20m diametre sphere of death, all around the user, with the user being unaffected.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2007
  10. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    This one actually made it into canon in DH. Flitwick casts it over Hogwarts when warding the school to keep Voldemort out.
     
  11. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

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    Well, that just proves it, doesn't it?

    Rowling's idea of research was nicking ideas from fourteen year old fangirls on Mugglenet.com.
     
  12. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Hasn't it always?

    Worst spell I can remember... Would have to be Crucio Maximus (as has been said) - Crucio is the most painful curse in existence, it can make you go insane from the pain in a very short space of time... Why would you need a stronger version?

    Of course I've made a couple of crap ones in the random drabbles I write occasionally, but thankfully they never went past pen and paper. I would love to hope that most authors just think of a spell and put in a descriptive name (like sleepio) when they don't have access to anything that can translate it... I'm probably too optimistic for my own good.

    Then again, I wish people would move away from pig-latin, or even latin itself. Whenever I think up spells I go through every bloody translator I can find, in every other language from Arabic to Zulu, and pick the best fitting one... Suitably adjusted of course :p.

    Damn I can go on and on, can't I? :D

    Aekiel
     
  13. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Cursus Magnificus
     
  14. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    I cannot remember that I ever read 'Crucio Maximus' but, yeah, these maxi-spells are quite bad. Similar are the authors using 'shadow' as prefix.

    But as bad are authors like Vorlon666 who create numerous most complex spells requiring minutes of wand waving to achieve the desired effects. Their duels look like bad copies of a merged Bleach-Naruto episode with the characters bragging on and on how they will, once they measured their e-peens, finish each other off.

    'Reducto', plain, simple, and effective. As plain and simple as 9mm.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2007
  15. Link

    Link Order Member DLP Supporter

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    I read a fanfiction where some ministry spells such as Reducto, or the cutting spell (forgot the incantation), are designed for example to destruct or blast furniture, though have fail-safe not to work when you do it against an human; though if you overpower it you could use it as to banish someone.

    Anyway, I liked the idea of layering spells in Vorlon666's fanfiction. Though, I admit he made up parseltongue spells which were pretty useless; you could have Harry conjure a spear and impale someone with it instead of using spells who are doing exactly the same thing.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2007
  16. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    ip82's fic.
     
  17. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Ah, now I remember my most hated spell :D. Reducto as the random body part exploding curse. Nowhere in canon does it mention explosions, iirc it had Parvati reduce a wooden table to dust/ash, but there was no sign of that table becoming a shrapnel grenade. Same in the Third Task, where Harry used it to make a hole in the hedge. No exploding bush, just a big hole where greenery used to be.

    Aekiel
     
  18. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The maxi-spells are bad enough, but they pale in comparison to the sheer creativity of the (sigh)"extremos" spells..........eg, "expecto patronus extremos". This spell, (surprise, surprise) apparently creates a golden patronus that can kill dementors and can only be cast by uber!Harry while thinking of his playmate of the week.:wall:
     
  19. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

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    Ah but you forgot. If he is thinking of Ginny, he can produce FOUR GOLDEN
    PATRONI, which inevitably face off against 10,000+ dementors, and win.

    Because obviously, Ginny is the solution to everything.
     
  20. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

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    Including plot holes and lazy writing, apparently.
     
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