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Jason and the Argonauts travelled across the Mediterranean in nine ships. One was wrecked upon the Catalan coast, and it's crew were so taken by the beauty of the land that they founded a city with the name Barca Nona, meaning Ninth Ship.

In 717, the Moors attacked Tarraco, destroying it utterly. The rulers of Barchinona surrendered peacefully to the Musulman to spare their city the same fate, and the city languished under their rule for nearly a hundred years.

In 801, Louis the Pious, son of Charlemagne, pushed the Moors out of Barcelona in the creation of the Marca Hispania, the buffer-states between the Franks and the Moors. This brought Barecelona under the direct control of the Frankish King of Aquitaine.

In 911, Count Sunyer became ruler of Barcelona, and did not swear fealty to the declining Carolingian dynasty, and the independent Duchy of Barcelona was born.

In the year of our lord 1066, Duke Ramon Berenguer I the Old has lived for 43 years and ruled for 32. Let's take him for a spin.

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Barcelona. 1066. Four counties under the rule of a Duke.



Said Duke - Duke Ramon Berenguer I de Barcelona. As you can see, he's old, he's Brave, and he's Deceitful, and his education was mediocre and focussed on war.

His first move was to settle old scores. The Banu Hud dynasty, who controlled most of the Muslim-held lands in the region, had long been kicked around by the Christian powers - but sooner or later someone was going to do more than demand tribute, and any expansion by the Kingdoms of Navarra, Aragon, or Castille would smother any Catalan dreams of greatness in the crib.

So after some bickering and back-and-forthing with Navarra, he sealed an alliance with the marriage of his son, Pere de Barcelona, and Princess Maior of Navarra, and immediately put that alliance to the test by declaring war on the entire Banu Hud dynasty - two Sheiks and an Emir. Navarra immediately accepted and charged headlong into battle, where their meagre force was outnumbered and almost destroyed, while the Barcelonan forces used this distraction to outmanoeuvre and destroy the majority of the Muslim forces, before settling down to besiege and loot their way through Muslim territory. They went completely interrupted, because the remaining Muslim forces were completely occupied pursuing the few Navarran survivors, including the King and his eldest son, through the Pyrenees.



Though the war brought entire wagonloads of plunder back to Barcelona, every ounce of it was property of the Duke, which caused discontentment among his vassals, who were paying the cost for a large portion of Barcelona's forces. When one of the Counts approached Ramon, hoping for his own costs to be recompensed, he was not only rebuffed, but had his county revoked for his temerity.



Money had ceased to be a means to an end, and become an end in itself.



Which lead directly to him forcing a vote on raising taxes for burghers through. After what happened last time someone got in the way of his greed, nobody dared vote against it, and it passed easily.



Meanwhile, on the front, the siege forces took a short break to stare in confusion at a 2500-man force of Hungarians marching by. Goddamn it, vanilla...



The wars ended shortly after, as the last of the cities and mosques fell to the Christian invaders. Duke Ramon pondered these new territories, considering adding them to his personal demesne, but greed won out - none of them were likely to be profitable for decades, with the local Andalusian Muslims refusing to cooperate with their new Catalan Catholic overlords, so he granted them to his sons instead.



After five years of warfare and sieges, the Duke's vassals had had enough of war - but when the monolithic Emirate of Valencia had one of it's vassals split off over it's succession, Duke Ramon saw no other choice but to raise his personal levies and give it a shot.



(yes, those are the Hungarians again)

With their forces busy besieging Valencian castles, there was no resistance to speak of. With no sons left, Duke Ramon granted the new county to a second cousin - a decision that was going to have very unexpected consequences in the future.

But then the dear missus decided that she didn't like her newborn grandson, and started plotting against him.



Well, two can play at that game.



Can we can use this opportunity to strengthen relations with those eastern European fellows that keep inexplicably wandering around Iberia?



Excellent.

Unfortunately, our most recent expansions had not gone unnoticed, Kabylia, a Northern African Emirate, had taken exception to our predations upon their Muslim brothers.



Their initial invasion was utterly disastrous - their entire force was wiped out, and a Wali, two Shieks and the Emir himself were captured.




The ransom paid was beyond the Duke's wildest dreams - easily a decade's worth of income from his personal holdings. Not even his now-legendary greed could demand it all, so he revived a practice from his younger days - spending Muslim gold to improve Christian cities. The war fizzled out soon after, the Kabylian Emir understandably reluctant to spend more time in a Christian prison.

But not everyone was as wise...



Why do all of Ramon's wives hate his grandson? She didn't last long in prison. And we all know what that means. The Duchess is dead!



Long live the Duchess!

At this point, the year is 1076 - the year the historical Ramon Berenguer I died.



Is this the end? Will Ramon succumb to his fate?

 

Emboldened by his defeat of death, Duke Ramon decides that all other boundaries are meaningless.




If having babies out of wedlock with a girl less than a third your age who you raised from infancy and that you're second cousins with and that you're the ruler of is wrong, then Duke Ramon doesn't want to be right.



The next few years pass quietly, with a few skirmishes with the Murcian Emirate over Barcelona and Mallorca and a quick annexation of Albaraccin for a county to give to young Coyote. It is during the siege of Mallorca that the inevitable occurs - death finally catches up with Duke Ramon.



I'd like a moment of silence for- wait a fucking second.



JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, FLEE BEFORE THE SIDEBURNS CONSUME US ALL!

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STATE OF OUR HOLDINGS

The year is 1081. We're currently engaged in a Holy War for Mallorca with Murcia, who we can easily curbstomp. Valencia is probably our main threat - they've tried to take the duchy of Aragon from us before, and they'll probably try again, and they can call up about as many troops as us. Our new ruler, Duke Pere, is married to the sister of the current King of Navarra, so that'll probably tip the balance - but I've built up a significant war-chest that can go towards some mercenaries if need be. I've also been investing in the infrastructure of Empuries, Rosello and Barcelona, so I'd recommend keeping those as the heartland of our little empire - we're currently one over demesne limit because we hold two extra baronies in Barcelona, so I'd recommend giving away Tarragona to a son, nephew, or distant cousin. It's still got recently conquered maluses (mali?), so it won't be any use for a while.

Two of our brothers are guaranteed to revolt, and one of them is likely to. The Murcians would accept a white peace, but their armies are shattered - you can just recall the troops and let the Holy War simmer in the background until it's more convenient to finish them off. With our troops back home, it should be easy to crush any revolts - our brothers have only a single county each, and Zaragoza and Leida are still Muslim, therefore those two are harmless - they've no levies to call on. Catalayud converted quickly, so they'll have some troops to call on, but they've still got the wrong-culture malus, so again, not a major problem.

We have two main routes to King. We've got the majority of Aragon's de jure Kingdom, so we could usurp the crown simply by paying to do so. And we've got three children, two of them sons, with a Navarran Princess who has a claim on the throne - once she dies, they inherit it, and we can force our heir's claim for the Navarran throne.



STATE OF IBERIA

Although our position is relatively strong, our position may be more precarious than when we started. The Bejan Emirate has completely swallowed up the lands of the Kingdom of Leon, removing the crown from existence, and are currently wining a war for half of Galicia's holdings. Our main threat, the Valencian Emirate, snipped off a county from the Castillians. We're the only Christian power in Iberia that has actually grown in the last 15 years.



STATE OF THE WORLD

France, our other main worry, is currently ruled by an 11-year-old girl. An 11-year-old girl that managed to turf William the Conquerer out of Normandy after he took the English throne. I don't know about you, but France without England to distract it terrifies me.

The rest of the world looks pretty standard. The Holy Roman Empire has expanded into Sardinia after a Muslim kicked the Christians out - if they continue Holy War-ing into Iberia, they could be a massive pain our arses, but most of their vassals are too busy slaughtering each other for the Empire to be a real force just yet.

STATE OF OUR RULER

Duke Pere is arbitrary (ouch), gregarious (fuck yeah), and wroth (meh). He's also a Skilled Tactician, which is pretty excellent. He's 36, giving Aek plenty of time before he dies (knock on wood).

STATE OF THE SAVE

It's here. Aek is up next, but I see no problem with letting the rest of you see what the poor bugger has to deal with.

 

We're doing this now?

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