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[WIP] Great Things by redfoxrabbit - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Peter North, Jan 5, 2017.

  1. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    1,834
    Location:
    New Hampshire
    Title: Great Things

    Author: redfoxrabbit

    Rating: T

    Genre: Adventure

    Status: WIP

    Library Category: General

    Pairings: None yet

    Summary: When Harry was left on the Dursley's doorstep, Petunia quickly realised he couldn't stay. Where else to leave him but with the very person who'd first lured her sister into the magical world all those years ago? With a very different upbringing on Diagon Alley, it's not exactly the same Harry that arrives at Hogwarts ten years later.

    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11617421/1/Great-Things

    So to start out this is the first ever fic I've read where Garrick Olivander raises Harry. The beginning chapters are pretty interesting with Harry learning with some of his other magical classmates before going to Hogwarts, and Olivander teaches Harry a bit about his craft.

    So far we are still in first year and Dumbledore can be a bit grating with his attempts to control the situation with Harry, but over all I think it's kind of an interesting read and is definitely worth 3/5 stars.
     
  2. Dicra

    Dicra Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2014
    Messages:
    277
    Funny, just yesterday I thought that I maybe should put this up for review :D
    Generally, I think that the fic has potential, seeing as the writing in general is quite decent and the pace seems reasonable as well, especially compared to other fics. The author isn't afraid of trying out their own plot subversions, although we have seen similar things before, especially where Quirrel is concerned.

    There are, however, some irritations that prevent me from giving the story a higher rating.
    1) The premise is absolutely handwaved. If spells, that prevented any attacks, were possible in the described fashion, there would have been absolutely no need to send Harry to the Dursleys. Apart from that, the corridors in Hogwarts would be protected by similar spells, the Minister's office and similar places even more so.

    2) The story is about Harry being raised by a wandmaker. Now, wandmaking is an intriguing technique we don't know that much about, and this would have been an excellent opportunity to make the story unique. However, it doesn't seem like the author himself has any concrete ideas about wandmaking - everything concerning it is described surprisingly vague. One moment, Ollivander talks about wood best being harvested in November, the next moment, Harry's woodwork is already as good as Ollivander's.
    Remember 0800-Rent-A-Hero? THAT was a good way to choose an underdevoloped field of magic and form something unique and new out of it. Well, it was pretty annoying otherwise, which this story definitely isn't, but nevermind that.
    Of course, it can still be concretized, but as the plot now is pretty Hogwarts-centric, I don't think it will. However, I'd like to let myself be pleasantly surprised.

    3) Dumbledore. Not really sure about him at this point, he just seems a bit too ... meddlesome, I guess? No evil Dumbledore by any stretch, but I think that the actual Dumbledore would handle matters far more eloquent.

    4) I'm getting irritated by these "sincere and heartfelt" apologies that are just so goddamn annoying, because they are an easy way out of any pre-teen drama that could possibly be looming on the horizon - an easy way that seems to always work. If you don't want to write that sort of thing, don't set up for those conflicts in the first place.

    5) Vicious bullying is sort of a Ravenclaw tradition that the prefects approve of? And no teacher ever notices? Seriously?!

    Definitely forgetting something here, as always, but I guess others will point these things out.

    Tentative 3/5
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2017
  3. KGB

    KGB Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    728
    This reminds me a bit of "The Curse of the Girl Who Lived", although it lacks something to be as entertaining as that fic was. I can't quite put my finger on what it is though.

    The poor Dumbledore certainly is part of it. It's like the author has read a bunch of Evil!Dumbles fic's internalized all the dumb cliches that go with that and is now trying to write a fic without him actually being evil.

    I did read all of it. So at-least the story never manages to annoy enough to x out of it.
     
  4. Crownworthy

    Crownworthy Squib

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2011
    Messages:
    16
    Location:
    Norway
    The early chapters created an excellent environment. I've rarely seen fics expanding decently on the Diagon Alley setting, and it made for interesting reading. In the Hogwarts chapters the story becomes more iffy however, and for now it seems to have turned into a run-of-the-mill first year rehash. I'll give it a 3/5 for now, with the possibility of it going either up or down.
     
  5. momo

    momo First Year

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2017
    Messages:
    38
    Location:
    AMERICA
    High Score:
    0
    Good potential, unique plot, but lacks some common understanding of the Canon. A ooc universe that doesn't make sense.

    3.5/5
     
  6. mart3183

    mart3183 Squib

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2015
    Messages:
    8
    The first few chapters are generally well crafted and thought out, I however, feel like the story falls a bit short after chapter 11. The idea of Olliviander acting as Harry's guardians is nice and all, however, the story should explore more of the wandlore concept since it is the most interesting concept in the entire story.

    The relationship Harry has with the other kids his age has been done a lot before. I feel it takes a lot from the story progress. Although, the characterization is well done, so there is that. I like Ollivianders character very much. Probably the best version of him I've read.

    Unfortunately, when they get to Hogwarts, it ends up being a very cliché first year fic.

    2.5/5. Has potential to reach much more.
     
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