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Complete Hallows and Pathos by Perspicacity - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Voice of the Nephilim, Feb 28, 2009.

  1. Voice of the Nephilim

    Voice of the Nephilim Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    Title: Hallows and Pathos
    Author: Perspicacity
    Rating: M
    Genre: Horror/Suspense
    DLP Category: Dark Arts
    Pairing: H/G, R/Hr
    Chapters: 3
    Words: 16,930
    Published: February 27, 2009

    Status: Complete
    Summary: A mistake by a dying man drives Hermione to obsession as she seeks to unlock the secrets of the Deathly Hallows. Harry, wanting only peace, tries to rid himself of the taint of death. Two friends clash in a tragic struggle for identity and destiny.
    Link: Hallows and Pathos

    Post DH tale, disregarding the epilogue, with same canon pairings.

    Very high quality, almost equally split between Harry and Hermione's viewpoints as their respective worlds crumble about them, courtesy of the Deathly Hallows. Goes fairly deep into the nature of the Hallows themselves, presents a fairly original slant on them. Some great fights abound, and some downright disturbing imagery.

    5/5 from me.


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 25, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2012
  2. sincostan

    sincostan High Inquisitor

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    Excellent. Two or three chapters explore a premise in a refreshingly focused manner. Canon pairings, but nice take on the meaning of the Hallows and the Master of Death. 5/5.

    "Sorry, mate. I wasn't much help there..." That quote from Ron got a laugh out of me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2009
  3. Silens Cursor

    Silens Cursor The Silencer DLP Supporter

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    I liked this fic - a lot. Best take on the Hallows that I've seen ever, and even with canon pairings, the characterizations were spot on. Fantastic fic.
     
  4. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    Very, very good story.

    There's a huge dearth of quality stories that don't rely on cheap plot gimmicks and massive AU elements to keep readers interested.

    5/5 for sure.
     
  5. BioPlague

    BioPlague MD DLP Supporter

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    Reading the reviews of a story gives me a Stephen Colbertesque view into the story so I should know what's happening by doing only that:

    So Hermione is not only wrong about something but her marriage to Ron is worthless.

    So Hermione's wrong - and there's nothing more wrong than Hermione going around killing people. No moral lesson and no poetic justice. I'm going to assume the Three Bothers are people who talk in the library, feather-dusters and Ron Weasley. Anyway, sounds like a lot of people die in here and then there's this:

    Nailed it. It's Hermione who's going around slicing and dicing everyone. Unfortunately, she dies but we aren't shown her body - a very cheesy horror-flick cliche - leaving the potential for a sequel where Hermione comes back to kill whoever didn't die.

    Wow. Sounds like Molly went through a woodchipper.

    4/5. Not very original premise (see that Screams or Teeth thing) but nothing to commemorate Friday the 13th like a good ol' fashion beaver hack and slash.

    Edit: Real review: Still 4/5. Good premise, good, good. Only problem is Harry. Meh. Dunno, didn't like him much at all. Loved the few lines of the Epilogue. Definitely a nice touch at the ending with the book.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2009
  6. Maro

    Maro Third Year

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    Pretty good. I had problems with Ron's dialogue as well as the final fight scene...it just didn't gel that well with me. Both the description of the fights as well as what actually happened in the battle didn't really sit well with me for some reason.

    The writing was technically excellent and the plot interesting but I think it could have been done better...

    A definite 4/5 though.
     
  7. Dirk Diggory

    Dirk Diggory Seventh Year

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    The ending didn't do anything for me. If taken at face value, it suggests that Hermione bore no blame at all for what happened. But the story isn't very interesting if it's just "Hermione gets totally possessed by a magical object and kills people".

    It seemed like it should have been her sense that she can fix it all and she knows best (among her strongest character traits) that pushed her into CHOOSING to explore something better left alone rather than purely external forces.

    But the rest of it was high quality. 4/5.
     
  8. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    I didn't like the battle too much either.

    That Harry was facing Dumbledore, Merlin, and Ravenclaw should have been impressed on the reader. I sort of sensed the desperation Harry must have felt at fighting Dumbledore, but Merlin and Ravenclaw might as well have been two random underlings. When you name-drop like that, you have to follow through. Not necessarily through more visceral combat, but Harry's reaction to facing them.

    Granted, Harry was a deadened character emotionally due to the influence of the Hallows, but I still think the story was shortchanged in the climactic battle.

    The feeling of wrongness and of desecration was absent. The ethics was only touched upon.

    Think of Harry facing his former friends, mentor, and lover resurrected and corrupted in Thalarian's story, which captured both feelings.

    The writing is the strongest aspect of the story. I think Perspicacity manages to balance lofty prose with accessibility more successfully than anyone else in the fandom.

    Good story, I was happy to read picture the great visuals and read about Hermione's honest intentions being warped.

    And it was written in past tense. ;)
     
  9. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    Wow. That was a pretty damn good take on the Hallows and an excellent take on Hermione.

    Spoiler tags to be on the safe side:
    I know I'm the first to complain about excessive angst and the need for a light at the end of the tunnel, but for some reason it's Harry's happy ending that I liked least. His struggle against the Hallows and his attempts to save Hermione fit him so well, and his willingness to stop her from what she'd become... it almost felt like in the end it was too easy to simply "accept the call" and then get reunited with Ginny and Lily in paradise/the afterlife.

    I want Harry accepting and embracing his Master of Death power to cost him something. It should be some kind of epic sacrifice that he does because he's Harry, the real hero. I'm not sure what but if it was so easy, then why was he so resistant? Something like "accepting the call" means he can never really die or cross over and be with his wife and daughter for eternity. Or maybe stopping Hermione means he's forced to do something completely beyond the pale to her.

    I get the idea of how horrible and wretched she'll feel. And she'll carry that guilt until the end of time. But it feels too much like some massive grandiose mistake for which there are very few legitimate consequences, for both Harry and Hermione. Maybe some kind of metaphysical twisting of the knife means that Hermione feels every death from here on out. Or hell, maybe she's unable to pass on, reborn to someone new she wronged every time she dies.

    Maybe Ron and the Weasleys aren't so welcoming or forgiving? Guilt consumes her and a suicide later, she's reborn as Lavender and Won-Won's first child?

    Okay maybe not that. But just something more substantial.

    I agree with a lot of the comments on flaws, but there's just too many good things in here for me not to give it 5/5.
     
  10. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    Great fic. Original premise (for me at least), and a wonderful take on the Hallows. I'm the same as everyone else; there are a few flaws, but overall it's fantastic.

    5/5
     
  11. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    That was so much fun packed in so little space that things which would have bothered me in a larger scale story are completely forgiven.

    Hermione's corruption is believable, I always imagined any story of her going dark would have her pursuing forbidden knowledge for knowledge's sake. I really liked Ron in this - which is saying a lot because he is usually just a take it or leave it character. Ginny and Molly, both, were nicely done, without grating on my nerves. Again, their characters were good most likely because of the shortness of the story. Although, I have a feeling that if it continued Ginny would still have been good.

    The duel between the three wizards from history and Harry was okay, nothing too exciting. The duel between Harry and Hermione was much better. 'Tears of the damned' and some other things being especially nice.

    5/5
     
  12. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    5 stars. Is it too much to call <i>Hallows and Pathos</i> the current best HP fanfic of 2009?<sup>1</sup>

    _________<small>
    <sup>1</sup>I'm only counting those fanfics published just during the 2009 calendar year.</small>
     
  13. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    Good work, Pers. Fluid, captivating writing style, excellent take on the Hallows, and good characterization. I agree with the above comment that Ravenclaw and Merlin could have been flushed out more, but it doesn't really take away from the story IMO - more "I wish you had," rather than "you should have."

    5/5.
     
  14. sincostan

    sincostan High Inquisitor

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    I feel a little about what Dirk Diggory is saying.

    The resolution of the story has a "and it was just all a dream" feel to it. The magical world is just less two or so characters, and it's hard to comprehend Ron's acceptance of the facts. It's not as strong as it could be.

    The very ending is a bit of a tease--I like that a great deal.
     
  15. Anya

    Anya Harley Quinn DLP Supporter

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    I loved it and I want to have its babies... seem to be doing that a lot today.

    5/5
     
  16. Felur

    Felur Squib

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    I agree with nonjon and Dirk Diggory, the ending is not satisfactory. I have a feeling that the author wanted to write a true tragedy but in the last minute he/she changed his/her mind. I think that a dark ending would have suited better for the story.
    Nevertheless it is a great writing, one of the best in the last few months.
    4/5
     
  17. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    This actually isn't far off. The story was ideated when I ran across a challenge on another site. I wanted to compete with my story, having learned first-hand how frustrating it is to write a challenge piece and have it rejected, so I knew I was restricted in terms of what I could write. Specifically, without the "happy" ending, the story would have considered a kill-off and rejected out of hand. (Some readers still consider it one). It was still very close--the decision fell to a senior editor/mod there, who ruled in my favor. Needless to say, it's become one of the more controversial pieces on their site.

    I plan to tweak the ending sometime after the judging, taking your comments and others I've received into consideration. The essential story won't change, but Harry's and Hermione's ultimate fates will most likely play out more satisfactorily.

    Many thanks to everyone who read and commented on my story--I really appreciate the feedback. (I especially enjoyed reading BP's review).
     
  18. lulu42

    lulu42 Second Year

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    Fantastic stuff.
    I loved the Deathly Hallows because they were so mysterious and most of the background was unexplained. The potential to twist their functions into something dark was always present, but most people are cowards and don't do it.

    Hermione's character is spot on, as mentioned. I can't think of another way to show Hermione's obsession with the Deathly Hallows without raising someone from the dead. So why have Merlin, Ravenclaw, and Dumbledore? It seemed a bit unnecessary. I suppose it proves that she could do raise the dead, but Dumbledore's return seems to show her power and hit Harry emotionally well on its own.

    The ending seems okay when it was born from a SIYE's challenge. I would have preferred it without the Ginny scene at the end and make it implied that he went to meet her.

    5/5 'cause it's made of awesome
     
  19. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

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    I have to agree with a few people here. The characterization was amazing. I really like it. I also give it a 5/5. I liked how Hermione turned out the way she did, and ended up getting her ass handed to her by a revived Harry.
     
  20. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Oh, SIYE. Haven't been there in ages, lol. But I'm reading the comments currently and laughing my ass off. "Harry and Ginny's life is supposed to be" this and that, and the kicker that cracked me really up,
    Hahaha.

    God fuck. This reminds me of myself way back when I literally couldn't comprehend that authors would even want to write anything other than H/G and a happily ever after. The very thought was simply unthinkable. Strange to see that you changed and SIYE remained, just as it always was, innit?


    Err ... anyway, about the story. I'll have a read later and edit comments here when I'm done. Maybe I'll leave you a comment at SIYE as well, Pers, just for the hell of it. If I can remember the password to my account, that is.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2009