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Harry Potter and Futures Past

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Manatheron, Apr 9, 2010.

  1. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

    Joined:
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    Title:Harry Potter and Futures Past
    Author: DriftWood1965
    Rating:T
    Genre:Action/Romance
    DLP Category:Time Travel
    Pairing:Harmony
    Status:WIP
    Summary:Starts out the day after the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry and Hermione meet the Goddess of Love, and she offers to let them go back in time. Strictly Harry and Hermione. Minor - well maybe major Ginny, Ron and Dumbledore Bashing. Soul Bond - Time Travel fic
    Link: Futures Past

    Comments:
    I'm going to start by stating up front that I suspect that this will only make the recycle bin for two main reasons, One of which is in the summery, 'Soul Bond'. The other is a mental link with each other that 'the goddess' uses to eavesdrop on them. To be honest I tend to skim those parts, so ya...

    That being said, it's actually pretty well written. I was skeptical of the 'goddess of love' bit, but she's a tolerable OC. The writing style is fluid, the spelling errors are (As far as I can tell) non-existent, and the rational behind Harry and Hermione's actions is at least acceptable within the confines of suspended disbelief. If the author removed the Deus Ex soul bond and it's trappings I might even go so far as to call this fic above average.

    Sadly however as it's currently written it's merely Not that bad. I'd say once the author has some more experience and probably once she gets some honest feedback she could become a rather good fic writer.

    I'd personally give this a 3-3.5/5
     
  2. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Starting score: 3/5

    -1 for soul bond
    -3 for every chapter being 90% dialogue
    -10 for combining the worst elements of H/Hr and H/G fanfiction into one story

    Final score:

    What is this I don't even/5
     
  3. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Seriously :|

    I mean, I know I'm just as anti-Hermione-biased as Nukular, so perhaps one of the fans should try it. "The goddess" is a self-insert of a particularly angry Harmonian, after all. Have fun.
     
  4. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I knew you guy's answers before I even opened the thread. :p

    Either way, I haven't read something that sound this bad in a long time, may as well give it a go. I'll edit with impressions later.
     
  5. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    This is... awful. Why? Why would you post something like this in For Review? Man, I'd be hesitant to rec this fic in the Almost Readable thread.

    Do not want/5.
     
  6. Moridin

    Moridin Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    It's not bad, from what I can see, but it is extremely cliched. And, yeah, I am a fan of Harry/Hermione, so it's not an objection to the ship. It's just a fairly generic fic that has equivalents elsewhere as well, as far as I can tell (apart from the whole 'goddess' shtick). Love potions, scheming Weasleys, Ron claiming Hermione as 'his' girl (don't know how many times I've seen that particular one, and Hermione's ire at being claimed, but it's a lot). Writing and grammar are decent. 2.5/5, overall, maybe a decent fic to read to pass the time, if nothing else is present.
     
  7. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    It definitely is as bad as it sounds. There isn't even a need to hide quotes in spoilers, as everyone in here has already read stuff like that more often than what's healthy.

    It's a cliché-ridden H/Hr soul bond feast - and one of the worse at that:


    In addition they are able to telepathically talk not only with each other, but also with a goddess who supervised the whole soul bond and then sent them back to the past - from the end of year seven to almost the end of year five.

    So they travelled back in time just two years. Nevertheless - supported by the goddess Harry suddenly is able to defeat Snape in Occlumency:


    Of course, a story based solely on clichés like that can't live without the usual bashing. Manipulative Dumbledore:

    And another:


    Of course Dumbledore and the Weasleys had set up Harry at Platform 9 3/4 to introduce him to Ron, and now Ron and Ginny are using some love perfumes on him and Hermione for OBHWF:

    Instead of Ron, H/Hr's new best friends are Neville and Luna.

    And so on.


    Its UNDER -9000 / 5

    It's bad enough for the Hall of Shame.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2010
  8. Luda

    Luda Seventh Year

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    This seems appropriate from what I've read of it.
     
  9. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    I actually have that on alerts, am mildly curious if the plot ever goes anywhere. Not all that optomistic though.

    As pointless H/Hr bash-fests go, I've definitely scene more entertaining stuff.

    1/5, because characterisation only seems to be getting worse.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2010
  10. Speakers

    Speakers Backtraced

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    read it some time ago and Dark Minion's post just about sums it up
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2010
  11. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    This fucking sucked.
     
  12. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

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    I've read the first chapter. Character bashing, author-insert (as a Goddess!), soul bond, authors notes in the main body of the text, bizarre fascination with hair and the word bloody... Fail.

    Technically, the writing is sound, but what's being written is awful. 1/5

    EDIT: I read a bit further...

    How? That's pretty much the whole story! There's just no part of this story that is in anyway good.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2010
  13. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Yeah, that's like reading a Harry/Draco Veela!Mate with skipping the slashy bits. The punctuation is all that's left to read then.
     
  14. Warheart

    Warheart Sixth Year

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    -Soul Bond
    -Character bashing
    -Ship based plot

    Perfect recipe for disaster, unless the author is a fucking genius.

    I'm curious, why does nobody bashes Hermione? Fics like this made me hate her.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2010
  15. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    :|

    Dislike her because of how she is in Canon. It's what I do. And there is no point in starting a rant ITT, since everyone knows how I feel already anyway. If anything, I want to kick the author for inserting herself into the story as a goddess and dumping her Angry Harmonian Feelings on the reader (1/2 rant and 1/2 constructing obtuse theories in order to retcon Canon into a supposedly more desirable shape. And no, substituting Harry being fed a lovepotion by Golddigger!Ginny to Harry being fed a jealousy potion that has the same effects does not make it better).


    Also, as a side note, if anyone gets the idea that, hmm, perhaps I should try the other story, it can has Fleur (<--- me), here's three words for you: Three-way-soulbond. Harry has it. :(
     
  16. Nadino

    Nadino Third Year

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    Oh god, did he really recommend that?

    haha
     
  17. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

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    *is blinded*

    Amazingly I was able to get through 2/3 of the first chapter before I failed a save, and then it was over. Even if you had some perverse guilty pleasure here, why the hell isnt it in unrecommended?

    1/5
     
  18. Stenstyren

    Stenstyren Professor

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    OK; cliches all over the place, I was prepared for that. However, seeing as the fic was recommended here I thought the writing would be really good and the story would somehow turn interesting if you just ignored the small Harry/Hermione parts.

    I was severely wrong.

    Everyone in this thread already said why, I'm just going to add one thing.

    The author makes the character have emotions for no apparent reason. Sure, there are stuff happening that could make you emotional but these character switch moods in 100 km/h, which I absolutely hate:(
     
  19. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    -Read Reviews-

    -Shrugs-

    Or not I suppose. At least ya'll got some lulz out of it.

    I maintain that despite the tendency toward cliche' the author has some potential, and with some decent feedback and a good beta could turn out a story worth reading. This obviously, isn't it, but...

    -Shrugs again-

    Ah well. My Bad.
     
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