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Complete Harry Potter and the Balm of Time by ladylaughalot

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Darkcrow, May 8, 2020.

  1. Darkcrow

    Darkcrow Squib

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    Title: Harry Potter and the Balm of Time
    Author: ladylaughalot
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Romance
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: General fics
    Pairings: Harry/Hermione
    Summary: Dumbledore concocts a cunning plan to travel back in time and destroy Voldemort's Horcruxes. His untimely death prevents him from going so Harry must go in his place, and take the one person whose help he really needs with him.

    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4986849/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Balm-of-Time

    It is quite an old fanfic and I couldn't find it on this site so ,here it is. After reading this fanfic, I think it deserves a chance.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2020
  2. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Why does it deserve a chance? Read the rules of the forums you're posting in instead of just randomly posting with no context.

    Why do you like this story?
    What compelled you to post it?
    Do you think other people will like it?
    Just because you don't see it on the site doesn't mean that we've haven't had it on here before. We vet stories on if they're worthy for the library or almost rec. If they meet neither criteria, they're sent to the trash bin.

    If you want quick access to the rules, they're in my sig.

    The next post you make with little thought will likely be your last. My patience is limited.
     
  3. Darkcrow

    Darkcrow Squib

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    I am just trying to help ok .(I know I messed up, I should have read the rules ,But you don't have to be so threatening about it )
     
  4. Donimo

    Donimo High Inquisitor

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    It's possible you don't understand the purpose of moderators.
     
  5. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I read part of the first chapter then randomly skipped ahead to chapter fourteen - neither inspires me to read further.

    But I didn't read enough of it to rate either. Will go back and do so if others don't just so we can sort it in the library.
     
  6. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Help by responding to the questions I put into the post. Your post did nothing but sound petulant.

    As it is, from first and second chapter:
    Doesn't bode well.

    Yeah. No interest in this what so ever.
     
  7. Darkcrow

    Darkcrow Squib

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    Look man, I don't want to argue about any thing ( I am simply here to have a Good time). I just wanted to help you guys after reading this post.
     
  8. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    If you want to help then you need to actually review the things you put up for review.
     
  9. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

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    Right, I'm confused. Maybe it's because I was skimming chapter 1 which was frankly boring, but somehow they ended back in the past, and it's not helped by the author mispelling Lily as "Lilly".

    Wait, I'm starting this review in media res. Let's take it from the top.

    Our story beings in a normal May day in the Philippines (which is to say, warm as an oven) when I awoke *looks at clock* an hour ago, which is also when I saw @Zombie posting in the Review Board. Oh boy, there's always some good fun to be had when the nicest man in the forums shows up. After having a quick laugh at this thread, mostly at the Harmony tag, and updating myself on all the relevant references so I can get on Discord and not feel like a moron, I clicked the link.

    Coincidentally, the story begins with this:



    Not a very promising start, because 1) Why would you bold it, 2) Why would you need an opening paragraph like this, 3) Even if it were a narrative and stylistic preference, it's actually got no hook and is such a shit opener, and 4) Why are people so garbage at writing. Git gud pls.

    Garbage title btw. Balm of time? Bleh

    We then move on to a chapter that's mostly Italicized, which I can only presume means it's a bunch of flashbacks, except mid scene they randomly become normal text again, and it doesn't seem like there's a shift in the timeline, so I actually don't know what's going on with that. It takes a whole lot of time and contrivance setting up Harry's motivations for time travel.

    Here I think the adage of write two chapters and cut the first one works well, because chapter 1 was a trash heap. Chapter 2 was moderately less so by comparison, though nothing to brag about.

    Chapter 2, Harmony fluff, they go house shopping in the past.
    Chapter 3, More harmony fluff, they meet an OC named "Lilly" and James Potter. One wonders if Harry will ever be born in this universe...
    Chapter 4, Harry angsting over people assuming he and Hermione are married and all that that implies, when that's what they want people to believe? Fuck off mate. No one has time for that shit. Author is clearly a girl---*checks name*, yup I'm right.
    Chapter 5-8, nothing of importance happens, and then Christmas time and more fluff and bonding and you get the idea.

    Okay. In order of pet peeves
    -Formatting errors
    -Mispelled names
    -Refusal to use dialogue tags during rapid fire convo making it very easy to get lost when people talk
    -Overparagraphed paragraphs such that each line is a one liner
    -Paced like TheSanti's current update rate
    -Harmony fluff with no set up, they seem very couple-y from the word go even if it's "pretending" because they're in the past *rolls eyes*

    1.5/5, rounding down cuz the OP annoys me.
     
  10. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Looked at it a bit more - seconding the 1.5/5 rounding down.
     
  11. RandyRanderson

    RandyRanderson Third Year

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    I will say that chapter 1 of this fic was okay - because it was mostly copied from Half-Blood Prince. I didn't think the premise was irredeemable, I was actually impressed (relative to the author) by "potion that allows apparition through time", but it was clearly a way to force a reason for Harry and Hermione to go back in time and pretend to be married. Did not think the title was that bad though. Story is littered with enough grammatical errors to make my sleep deprived writing look flawless. 1.5/5 stars, rounded down as well.
     
  12. Advice Needed

    Advice Needed Second Year

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    Complete Harmony trash. Couldn't get through so I won't vote officially but 1/5.
     
  13. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    A stag night perhaps?

    I'm generally pro-Harmony, but I skimmed this and found it wanting.
     
  14. Hymnsicality

    Hymnsicality Seventh Year

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    It's the correct terminology where I'm from.

    But I'm from Australia so I'm not entirely sure what it's doing in this story.

    I'd second the skimming and finding it wanting. As a rule of thumb, stories that rely on bolding and italicisation to promote interest are usually terrible.
     
  15. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

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    If I've learned anything from Would I Lie to You, stag nights are a fairly well-understood thing in Britain.

    I tried going through it. Failed. 1/5. Utter crap.
     
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