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Abandoned Harry Potter and the Black Hearted Auror by Darth Cious - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Galleon, Jun 10, 2008.

  1. Galleon

    Galleon DA Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Title: Harry Potter and the Black Hearted Auror
    Author: Dark Cious
    Rating: M
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    DLP Category: Independent
    Pairing: Harry/Tonks
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 55,637
    Updated: June 18, 2008
    Published: June 8, 2008
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: AU of HBP. After losing his Godfather and promising to think before he acts, Harry receives a letter from the new Minister of Magic with an intriguing proposal, he gains a new ally and begins doubting an old one. Independent!Harry Realistic!Honks
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4308508/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Black_Hearted_Auror


    Checked by Minion, June 9, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2013
  2. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

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    Canada
    Read it yesterday. Those letters made my cringe. As for everything else, it's not great but it's better than 90% of all Honks stories out there.
    3.5/5
     
  3. 007_rock

    007_rock DA Member

    Joined:
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    Cochin
    The story itself is not bad. It is neatly written and not many mistakes. The first few chapters look promising and Harry is not the pussy he is in canon.

    But what makes me concerned is this quote from the authors page.



    He is obviously a slash fan and add to it severitus. This story is declared Honks and doesn't sound to like Snape much, but it is better to be cautious.

    Otherwise good read.

    3/5
     
  4. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    At your mothers house
    A decent enough read. I've read better and his ships and likes make me twitch, which brings down the rating. 3/5
     
  5. Gizmore

    Gizmore Minister of Swedish Affairs DLP Supporter

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    I've just read the three chapters that are out atm, and I think it's a pretty good start, not the best, but good nevertheless. I can't see any mayor spelling or grammar mistakes (but that might be because my english isn't that good)
    The story starts with Harry seeing the error in Dumbledore's ways, he know he has to do something and he acts. Throw in Tonks shoulder to cry on and a little messing with Dudley and leeway regarding the underage magic law.
     
  6. slasheh

    slasheh Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2006
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    290
    the story isn't bad so far, but neither is it exceptional.
    It's a fairly decent start for a "political" fic, and frankly few of those have made sense so far. So i'll give the author some time and see where he takes this.
    On the plus side, it is moving at a good pace and sticks to realistic goals (meaning Harry does not demand the world from the Minister, and he doesn't become a political genius in one chapter).
    I won't rate it yet (i never rate until at least 40k words are available) but if it goes on like this i'd give it a 4/5

    Ps: I find it slightly idiotic to change a STORY's rating depending on what ships the author prefers to read. That is his buisness and frankly not relevant to the story.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2008
  7. Vtigo

    Vtigo Second Year

    Joined:
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    Psalms of Planets Eureka seveN
    6. I've rated this story M for a few reasons. There will be violence. There will be adult language and content. There will most likely even be a tasteful love scene or two. However, if you're looking for smut, you're in the wrong place. Heck, you're on the wrong website!

    7. This is a story containing Honks, but not just a Honks story. If that's all you're looking for... well... There aren't really many, so, good luck finding a decent one

    Those lines scare the shit out of me, does he mean it will have slash or another het pair?
     
  8. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Tonks metamorphs a penis.
     
  9. Tehan

    Tehan Avatar of Khorne DLP Supporter

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    Due to not using hyphens correctly (it's Black-Hearted) and that the Honks seems to be a mere stop on the road to slashville, I think this should be dumped like the big ol' pile of fail it seems destined to become. But then, I am a cynic at heart. At least in this particular field.

    Oh, and the author ships Ron/Luna. I want to punch their tendons out just for that. Let's not even start on the Bella/Hagrid thing.
     
  10. Mors

    Mors Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Somewhere they dont haet teh leet.
    Proof that putting in Honks in your summary works.

    That is all.
     
  11. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

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    I asked him about it but so far he ignores me. If he will indeed change the pairing I will tear his nu... I'll stop following the fic. Honks is sacred.
     
  12. vlad

    vlad Seventh Year Prestige

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
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    Georgia, SSR
    High Score:
    2000
    We are at war with Eurasia. We have always been at war with Eurasia.

    *thought this was by an author that it actually isn't... Will read and review later.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2008
  13. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    Just read this. Not really enough of a start to judge. Pretty standard post-OotP start. It's not bad, but I'm not impressed yet. Actually finishing a story like this though would definitely impress me.

    As for the worries, I'll say my impression is that the MAIN pairing for Harry is going to be HONKS. I mean they're both already pretty much smitten for each other even if they're not coming out and saying it yet. But I think the author was warning us about other characters that would be paired. Like maybe some Remus/Severus or Ron/Luna. And yes, just typing those two pairings made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

    It's a good enough start with potential, but so far a start like this is nothing new. Future updates at all will make it somewhat different and actually finishing the fic would put it on a pedestal. There's just not enough HONKS in the world.
     
  14. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery Prestige

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    My Dark Lord Hagrid story must be Hagrid/Bellatrix.

    That is all.
     
  15. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

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    Tonks' cock is bigger than Harry's :eek:
     
  16. Galleon

    Galleon DA Member

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    Just saw this. Whether it's because of me not paying attention or him just adding it I don't know...but here's his version of Tonks' point-of-view.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4313993/1
     
  17. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    The author just added it. Or at least it wasn't on the author's profile when I read the fic a few hours ago.

    And the pairing thing is explained by one of the last lines in this POV side story. "Tonks was going to get Harry Potter a girlfriend."

    So the failed setup between Harry and... someone will be the precursor to the HONKS. But you can take solace in that it won't be slash and Ginny's not much of a candidate after the talk.
     
  18. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Ann Arbor, MI
    I really wasn't too impressed with this one...particularly the start of it, where I cringed at a few points and others just didn't seem particularly realistic to me. 3/5 - the writing is decent and its Honks, so that boosts it up.
     
  19. ParseltonguePhoenix

    ParseltonguePhoenix Unspeakable

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    Ok, so the letters between Harry and the Minister were somewhat awkward and unbelievable. I still like the premise. The meeting between Harry and the Minister was also somewhat stilted. I still like the idea. The talking between Harry and Tonks on the walk back to Privet Drive was cliched...but may have been the most refreshing take on it I've seen in a Honks story thus far. Harry and Tonks versus Dudley and Malcom was over-the-top, but still enjoyable.

    Some of the pieces feel a little out of place in the first few chapters, but I think this one bears a look once updated. Like nonjon said...if it gets finished, it should be enjoyable all around. I'll withold a rating until there's more to judge.
     
  20. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    first chapter was a cliche'd 2.5ish
    Second chapter was a moderately decent 3ish
    third chapter was 3.5ish and a good setup chapter
    if the author manages to properly build on it the next chapter should make 3.5-4ish. we got a bit of the standard 'difference between Harry and 'Harry potter, the Boy-who-lived'' BS, but it was reasonably well done, and certainly within context. in fact I think that this quote gives a proper context to the direction the story seems to be headed.

    "Harry..." Her voice was soft this time, worried. He didn't turn, afraid of what he might see on her face. "I didn't ask you what you were doing, and I'm not going to. I'm not even sure you know, but... Look, you don't cross a powerful wizard, even a good one, without consequences." He felt her hand on his shoulder, and she gave him a strong squeeze. "Be careful, Harry... and take care of yourself. I've got a feeling it won't be long until we need Harry Potter again."

    I'm waiting for the next chapter or two, but the glimmers of foreshadowing in the third chapter easily made up for the stilted first chapter, and the second one rather offset it's self.

    3.5ish for now, but I'm not going to vote for a bit yet.