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Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince by Forfie - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by True Story, Nov 28, 2005.

  1. True Story

    True Story Third Year

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    Title: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
    Author: Forfie
    Rating: M
    Summary: 6th year. Harry realizes the role he must play in the up coming war. This year brings a new DADA professor, vigilante justice and an isolating dorm mate. Who is the Manchurian General and the Half-Blood Prince? Is Harry one of them?
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2184626/1/

    Pretty good story, I speak with the author and I like the direction he is going to take the plot.
     
  2. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    I've read the first three chapters and it's... meh.

    This is definitely NOT independant Harry coz, he's still asking premission for everything from Moony and Dumbledore. I'm sceptical about that marshall arts thing as well, that usually ends up like cheap kung-fu movies. Everything is pretty much canon-like, though Harry does seem more powerful and dedicated than normal (still a passive character, though).

    The only thing I really like so far is Harry's outgoing attitude towards girl, which is a releif after all those clueless Harry's.

    I'll keep reading it only if I don't find something better...
     
  3. True Story

    True Story Third Year

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    This is the summary found under the forum heading 'Independent Harry' found on the forum index 'Stories there Harry has a backbone and proves he can kick ass too.' The is no refference to Moody or Dumbldore. And you have only read three chapters......Great going.


    And Harry realy is only acting like an ass when he tries to run away still in reality that is so dumb. You have a mafia boss after you the police or some people you know that care about your safety are protecting you, for free and you're going to run away? I think not. Not saying I dont read or liek stories where this happens but in reality that would just be stupid.
     
  4. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    "Independant Harry" doesn't have anything to do with Harry running away, or fighting against Dumbledore or even being overly powerful and taking out death eaters (although these are often included in the package). It has to do with his active or passive attitude towards his surrounding. And in this story, it is definitely passive.

    Every action that happened - books Harry had read, party he went to, moving away from Private Drive, martial arts training, trip to Dumbledore's office, birthday party, going out to a pub... - is instigated by other people - Moony, Voldemort or the Twins. Harry is totaly passive and only reacts to what is happening around him. Hell, even tatoos, which were supposed to be mark of rebellion, were recomended by his guardian.

    This would have been independant story, if:
    - Harry had fond his own way to having fun on some party, instead of getting dragged along
    - Harry choosing for himself where will he stay. He's 16 and rich. It's perfectly legal for him to live few months on his own, with parental permision.
    - Harry choosing books for himself and training on his own, requesting help if he needs it (and not letting others make his schedule and choose for him what to study)
    - Harry organizing his social life and not letting Order minders do that for him.

    In short, Harry would have to actually PLAN and EXECUTE some idea on his own, instead of just hanging out in appartman and doing whatever excercises Moony tells him to do.

    I understand Harry's underage and all, but any kind of proactive attitude is required for character to call himself "independant", Good example of independant Harry who is not lil' runaway and is still working with Dumbledore is The New Order by padfootjr24.
     
  5. True Story

    True Story Third Year

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    Well differenly still, Harry has no knowledge of these things other than what other people would tell him. Which sixteen year old would go out to a party where they know nobody to make it worse Harry has probably never been to a muggle party before and these where the people that used to trouble him day in and day out during his childhood.

    Harry choosing books and training himself....yeah just like all other great warriors do.....like the marines or the army right?

    What social life outside of boarding school has he had?

    He may be sixteen and rich but there is still security to take into account. Even if the Dursleys were assholes to him it's just three months...does he really value staying somewhere else so much that he would risk his safety and by extension the safety of the wizarding world?

    Going to a store and picking out some books is supposed to turn him into a renound warrior in three months or less? It takes time alot of time....I wouldn't have reccomeded this story if I didn't already know what the author was going to do with the plot, its not great but better than alot of the crap otu there by time the author is finished witht he series it will be one of the best around believe that home boy. Lets all jsut hold hands and sign kumbya and it will come to you that this story will be great. It will come to us all. Believe in the heart of the cards lol.
     
  6. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Well, maybe he should change that? How hard it is to get a subscription to every wizarding newspaper? I guess too hard without Dumbledore or Hermione there to remind him. Or throwing 100 galleons to Fletcher for an inside report? He doesn't have to be fucking Rambo, but little things he could do on his own.

    Point. He's such a dweeb in canon. That's a good direction in this story, having him go out more.

    You forget that marines are not independant. They are a part of machinery and have to do exactly what they're told. Does Harry want that for himself? I clearly remember him saying he doesn't want to be Fudge's puppet. And still, he stays Dumbledore's and Moony's.

    Harry don't have to study from books exclusively, but he can choose for himself WHAT to study and WITH WHOM. And then REQUEST help in various fields he has problems with.

    Or at least have a honest discussion with Dumbledore and Moony about making a study plan and planning out his future.

    This attitude is what's pissing me of: "Read this book, we'll speak after you're done". "You're coming with me in three days. Be ready." No explanation, no reasons. Just do what we tell you and shut up. Like they want a mindless drone who'll do whatever they say to him. And the worst thing is, he's taking it all up.
     
  7. True Story

    True Story Third Year

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    Ahh but you see me mentioning the marines and army actually come into play later in the story.....just read please. Just believe in the heart of the cards.......Sun Gao is not all he appears to be he is certainly not an allie of Dubledore's......He has reason to hate Dumbledore from power somethign Dumbledore did inadvertently struck him from power.
     
  8. LT2000

    LT2000 Heir

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    ......What's the pairing? :p
     
  9. True Story

    True Story Third Year

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    He just screws around it will eventualy end up HP/OC and the OC is nobody in the story yet.
     
  10. True Story

    True Story Third Year

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    Wow....Has anyone read this story yet? I must say i am very surprised at the reaction or lack there of...
     
  11. cmuylistoooo

    cmuylistoooo Fourth Year

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    i took the time to read more than half the chapters posted....i had to look over many things...its not a bad read...seems harry is not that independant, but its a story to read while waiting....
     
  12. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    This story is good, it just doesn't knock my socks off. I like a little more aggressive Harry. But that's just my taste.
     
  13. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Like I said, it's not bad, but some parts were just puting me off...

    Like that whole name thing... Sounds like just another one of those cheap attempts to attract attention before the next official book is published (I'm not saying that it is...).

    Or the wrong category... not exactly independant!Harry. Might force myself through a couple more chapters one of these days, the story HAS potential. I just can't stand Harry that is reasonably powerful but still gets dragged around clueless like a puppet...
     
  14. True Story

    True Story Third Year

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    Keep reading...the chapter posted today explains the name....The plot of this series is going to be crazy I promise you....
     
  15. True Story

    True Story Third Year

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    Err...Yeah could I get a Mod. to move this to General please...
     
  16. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    Done.
     
  17. Forfie

    Forfie Third Year

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    Okay, here comes my defense, first I would like to thank HarryReader [as he is called at FF.net] for defending me this far.

    First, this fic is wrongly placed in the Independent Harry section because I meant for this to be more of a general fic, as in it incorperates a lot of other ideas. It is not strictly some sub topic story that has one solitary plot line. In fact, I have several plot lines running together at the same time, which will all meet out and play together later on. It will invest a lot of time, that I am sure of, considering I have been writing it for over a year now.

    Harry is a passive character, by nature, in my opinion. His reasons for doing something seem to always be dictated by someone else, like the D.A., The Tri-Wizard, Dumbledore's turtoring. Harry really wouldn't be doing anything with out someone forcing his hand in one way. You may argue quidditch, but think about how McGonagall sternly suggested he try out for the house team. In essence, it's not what you know, but who you know, that determines what you do because of their influence on you. And Harry was drawn to his certain tattoos, Remus doesn't know about the Celtic Knot, and Lupin only mentioned it in passing because of Harry's father. I'm might be the only one, but I'm influenced heavily by my fathers past, like how we both played goalie in Lacrosse, striker in Soccer, wrote for the school paper, main editor for the lit mag. Heck, I even look like my dad, i'm called the 'Clone'. So, I put a little bit of myself in Harry, like how he wants information on his parents, but won't ask out right for it. Remeber, he was punished by the Dursleys for 11 years for asking questions. That has a major effect on someone's psyche.

    And the whole knoledge issue, how would Harry know there were other wizarding newspapers? They aren't even mentioned in cannon, seriously, all that is mentioned in cannon is the Daily Prophet, the Quibbler and Teen Witch Weekly. Not a good range for extra knowledge. Why didn't Harry try buying books before his fifth year or before his sixth? Because, as Lockheart showed us, not all authors are honest and good. Some are very biased. And it would seeem really petulant for Harry to whine and ask for help, than again, through years of neglect from the Dursleys, Harry will not easily ask for help. His pysche is so messed up, it's unbelievable. My friend that wants to be a child therapist would have a field day with him.

    Again, I apologize for the title of the story. I wrote this before HBP came out, and with very little facts about the real HBP. I would like to change the title one day, whenever I can think of a better one. I do hope you keep on reading though. I really love the feed back, and I hope I covered all of the topics of dire importance.
     
  18. Mrriddler

    Mrriddler High Inquisitor

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    mehe, I'll be blunt then and say that I think that's the kicker for everyone here then. We just don't believe Harry is weak or we rather not read about him portrayed as such. Heck someone of us down right hate canon right now because Harry's like this.

    I'll agree with everyone but True Story. A canon ish, feel-free-to-manipulate-me Harry is just not my cup of tea. And that alas is what he is and that's what you admit to writing him as...

    End note. Definitely a-OK story, good grammar (not saying much from me), very good non-Harry characterizations from what I seen, a bit too many OCs I think, but they aren't 2D. But at the very end, Harry doesn't have much balls AND he hangs on Dumbledore's words.

    Want a good read different from run of mill super Harry? Might as well give it a whirl. Want one where Harry actually does something on his own, out of his own initiative? stay FAR away.
     
  19. Forfie

    Forfie Third Year

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    Passive does not always mean weak. It is a meaning that many people give to the word, but is not entirely true. Think of Passive Agressive people as the antithesis of this general idea. By passive, I mean to say that Harry will easily let things roll off his shoulders, or explain them away in a positive or non-negative form. I rather not go to extremes and make my character 'weak', or completely arrogant in his ability. He is down to earth, a little too humble because of his years of neglect, and just as his glasses entale, myopic. Myopic in the sense that he can not see that far into the future, he really has no plan right now to defeat Voldemort, hell, he doesn't even know where to look!

    I posted in the review section several months ago to explain his temporary behavoir. Here it is verbatium:
    I'm sorry .ok, I didn't mean for my Harry to be weak willed or kissing Dumbledore's arse. I'm trying to have my Harry with a lot of will power, such as continuing onwards to fire spells, that Dumbledore would not have approved of, to get the job done, with a hand split in half. That takes a lot of will power. I'm not trying to have Harry follow Dumbledore, but I can see were you are coming from. Agreeing with someone doesn't mean you follow them, even service to that person doesn't mean you follow them blindly. Also, a person can not have a rash about face of opinion, it's impossible, even after what Dumbledore admitted to Harry, the boy still had his original opinion of the Headmaster. However, you can build upon it slowly, so that they form their own opinions that can be similar in some aspects to other people, such as my Harry not knowing how he feels about the Headmaster, his in an in between and very impressionable period right now.

    And yes, Harry does follow Dumbledore to a degree. He did the training with Sun Gao as Dumbledore set it up for him. But then again, Harry had started training with Dudley in the beginning of the summer on his own accord. It served to be convenient for both of them, as Harry wanted to train to be able to take down Death Eaters, and Dumbledore wanted something that would be productive for Harry over the summer, not only to form a connection with a Defense Against the Dark Art professor that seemed really knowledgeable and had a recommendation form Remus Lupin, so to keep his mind off of Sirius (in a way that did work) and to feel as if he was doing something for the ‘war effort’. No matter what, the instruction Harry received from Sun Gao would not make him formidable to face Voldemort. Voldemort is technically 68 years old (dates confirmed from HP-Lexicon) though he spent 14 years of his life as neither a ghost nor spirit but something in between. Take away 11 years from 54, so its 43 years total that he spent learning magic and utilizing it. No mater what Harry can do or learn, he would still not have as much experience or knowledge as Voldemort. Dumbledore knows this, Harry has not yet realized it.

    The list of names Harry was given by Dumbledore was a request by the old man. If Dumbledore is not monitoring the group, he can not know if Harry followed through with his wishes. Do not expect Malfoy or Goyle to be asked by Harry to join the D.A. (and Dumbledore did ask Harry to rename it). I don’t know what I will do with the others right now, keep in mind I’m writing this as I go.

    Harry has also down a lot of things that Dumbledore doesn’t approve of, some of it the old man doesn’t know. Harry’s use of the curse on humans disturbs Dumbledore, but he held his tongue. Harry killing disturbs Dumbledore, but he held his tongue. If Dumbledore were to know that Harry was using a Neurloader, which is an illegal artifact, he would be upset as well. The old man also didn’t want Harry to go on the vacation, did Harry listen? No, but he worked it with Dumbledore so that it would be agreeable to both parties.

    The final point I will make is Harry’s emotional state. He lost Sirius, and as much as he wants to think he is over it, he will never be over it. I know this personally because I lost my Grandfather earlier in the year, he was a major part of my life and someone I looked upon for guidance. His death crushed me, and I tried to move on, the feeling of his absence is even lingering as I write this. After his death, I was emotionally withdrawn, yet looking for guidance from certain parts of my family. Subconsciously, I was looking for love, and I think I still am, but I will probably not find a connection with someone similar to the connect I had with my Grandpa. Equally for Harry, he is looking for guidance, particularly from four sources: Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Albus Dumbledore and Sun Gao. Two of these choices are good, while the other two are bad. He wishes to stand by himself, but also to please the people around him at the same time because he is looking for love. Please don’t say I’m doing this part of his emotion incorrectly, for it is my personal experience that I base this side of Harry’s emotional state on.

    Harry has a mind of his on, yes, though it is in a very confused state as most teenagers (I can say this freely because I, myself, am 17) are in. It’s a slow process to create the Harry I want. In a world of extreme dark, extreme light, and all the shades of gray in between, I plan to make Harry tan. He will stand outside of the scale (along with some others) and be a force to reckon with. However, he needs to break away from the scale and that is a long process.
     
  20. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    Harry's killing seems to be so far "all in the line of Duty" as the expression goes. By the way Passive means not being aggressive. Aggressive is taking action. At Best, Passive Aggressive is action through Inaction. THis is still weak. He's not creating his own opportunites, only refusing or accepting what others offer him. (Other than the vacation, which someone suggested to him before, I believe, and which isn't especially assertive anyway.)
     
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