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Harry Potter and the Invincible TechnoMage by Clell65619 - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by boghi8462, Dec 14, 2007.

  1. boghi8462

    boghi8462 Backtraced

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    34
    Location:
    Romania
    Title: Harry Potter and the Midnight Sun
    Author: Clell65619
    Rating: T
    Genre: Crossover with Marvel Universe
    Status: WIP
    Summary: Harry Potter and the Marvel Universe. 5 year old Harry accompanies the Dursleys on a Business trip to Stark International, where an industrial accident kills all of Harry's living relatives. A very different Harry goes to Hogwarts. HPHG Maybe HPPP.

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3933832/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Invincible_TechnoMage

    Smart!Harry. Considering that he's the adoptet son of Tony Stark, one could expect no less. I usually don't comment on a fic below 3 chapters long, but this went to heart from the first.

    Comments like that, Snape and Dumbledore geting spanked in the second chapter by an 11 old and a decent update rate by the author mark it as a fic to keep track of.
     
  2. PsyckoSama

    PsyckoSama Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    317
    I like this a lot. Super Harry, but well done Super Harry. Of course some of the Magiwankers here will hate it, but its Marvel, of course the technology is out of their league. Frankly, Harry's waisting his time going to Hogwarts.

    4.5/5
     
  3. The Sinner

    The Sinner Looked into the void

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2006
    Messages:
    250
    Location:
    Somewhere between the heretic and Un'aria
    Skimmed the first chapter and found a problem like that has turned me away.
    Author's notes in the middle of the chapter and the worse thing since spam, and that is truly a bad thing. I can't take a fic seriously if the author has to explain his reasoning in the middle of chapter.
     
  4. X-Man

    X-Man Second Year

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    54
    Other than the marvel crossover theres nothing special about this fic. It reads like all the other stories where a smarter Harry starts Hogwarts.

    Its just a Smart Harry(and super to boot) going through Hogwarts making Snape look worse than Draco, having all kinds of fancy smancy tech. Just the same old shit over and over, never deviating into anything else.

    I agree with PsyckoSama Hogwarts is a complete waist of time for Harry. 3/5.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2007
  5. PsyckoSama

    PsyckoSama Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    317
    Frankly, the teachers he had back home were better than the ones he has at school... and if he wants rid of Voldy, he only has to ask Daddy and the Avengers because for christ sake, what could Voldemort do to the likes of fucking THOR?

    Voldemort: "I've the biggest, baddest dark lord of the 20th century."

    Thor: "I'm a God.."

    Voldemort: "Oh fucky do."

    To the recycle bin with ye!
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2007
  6. X-Man

    X-Man Second Year

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    54
    Lol. It be pretty cool if the author did something original like have Harry be Iron Man instead od Tony stark. You know instead of that piece of shrapnel getting stuck in Stark's heart it got stuck inside of Harry's. Forcing Stark to make armor to save Harry.
     
  7. gadriam

    gadriam Second Year

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2006
    Messages:
    72
    Location:
    Sweden
    It's sort of funny, but i don't really get the idea. What the hell is he doing there? The outset makes for some good quotes and dialogues, but it takes some severe boredom to follow it.

    Maybe I'll be that bored some day.

    g
     
  8. rj_stone2

    rj_stone2 Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2006
    Messages:
    229
    Location:
    New York
    I don't really see the appeal of re-reading Philosopher's Stone, except with Harry p0wning everybody. What's the appeal of watching some super-mature 11 year old using hypertech walk around embarassing everybody from canon?
     
  9. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,137
    Location:
    Sri Lanka
    I give it a meh. Nothing extraordinary and weak humor. Plus the story telling is a little bland.

    2.5/5
     
  10. Greengun

    Greengun First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Messages:
    35
    I've read the first chapter and based on it.

    Pros.

    + Not an X-Man based Marvel crossover
    + Harry isn't in Slytherin.
    + Harry points out one of the worst plot holes in the early books.
    + Ron Weasly isn't important.

    Cons.

    -Author notes mid chapter
    -Technology powered by magic. A cliche from years ago.
    -Crossover power levels are totally out of whack.
    -Rewrite of first book with new and improved Harry Stark/Black/Grey/La Fey/Gryfindor/NotPotter
    - These () should not be in a story. Its fucking annoying.
    - Bold text for thoughts, its a fucking eye sore.
    - Harry has power armor who would give an eleven year old power armor?

    With a good beta the story would at least look better but as is I'll probably not bother with chapter 2.
    Score
    1/5
    Score post good beta
    3/5
     
  11. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Messages:
    577
    Aw Shucks, I think it is good clean fun. But the small flaws rate a 3/5.
     
  12. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2005
    Messages:
    4,365
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Take more care in posting stories as well. You forgot to change the title.
     
  13. Demonic Chair Stealer

    Demonic Chair Stealer Second Year

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2007
    Messages:
    55
    I'm biased because of my more recent hate of Stark(the traitor) but in all fairness
    3/5
     
  14. redawgts

    redawgts First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2006
    Messages:
    45
    This is an OK story. Not great and not bad, just OK. I have to say though, it's a bad sign when you can tell exactly who Harry is going to be paired with within the first chapter of a year one fic. Harry immediately describes Hermione as cute as soon as he sees her. That all but guarantees that he'll be swapping spit with her by the end of second year, and they'll practically be married by the end of fourth year. I'll admit that this sours me to the story as I really don't like an H/Hr pairing. I dislike it only slightly less than I hate Harry in any slash pairing, especially with Snape or Draco. I'll give this story a 3/5 for now and can only see it going downhill from here on out. I'll probably keep on reading for awhile in hopes that I'm wrong but I don't think I'll end up finishing it.
     
  15. The Mysterious Nobody

    The Mysterious Nobody Auror

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    615
    The story is good. No t awesome, not amazing, but good in its own 'genre'. Add to that that it's a crossover with Marvel Universe without X-Men and/or Slash and you have a pretty nice read.

    3/5

    P.D: We need more quality Marvel/HP crossovers
     
  16. Verminard

    Verminard Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2007
    Messages:
    280
    Maybe there is a market for Harry-Sue?
     
  17. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,137
    Location:
    Sri Lanka
    Third chapter is up. It is a Harry-sue and pretty boring now. Just to give you an idea Snape is on his way to befriending HP and is DM is being nice.

    Toss it in the bin.
     
  18. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Messages:
    577
    It broke my fluff meter. And I had such high hopes. Ah well, Niffler Lord is right, bin it for now.
     
  19. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Messages:
    529
    Location:
    Englandshire
    High Score:
    5,725
    Amusing but not brilliant. 3/5
     
  20. Helltanz98

    Helltanz98 Professor

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    414
    Location:
    Terac Shri
    Agreed to the Recycle bin, it needs work but its not as bad as it could be.
     
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