Title: Harry Potter: Dumbledore's Legacy
Author: Wolversilvs
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Romance
Status: In-Progress
Library Category:
Pairings: Harry P./Daphne G.
Summary: Trainee Potter had assumed that once Voldemort was gone, life would go a lot smoother than it had been going before. Well, that shows what Harry knew! A demon attack and the reappearance of a Phoenix, carrying a note from a man long dead, thrusts Harry into peril and adventure once again! What new threat is the world facing, and is he strong enough to fight it?
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13353294/1/Harry-Potter-Dumbledores-Legacy

This story has several features which I think qualify it for being in the library, though not deserving of a perfect rating. It's a good fic, not great or outstanding.

Spoiler: Plot

Plot - The plot is interesting. Harry Potter, trainee auror sidelined as a result of political motivations, is living a post-Voldemort life. His friends Hermione and Ron are getting involved in politics and charity. Demons start popping up around magical Britain. A letter from Dumbledore is recieved by Harry and Harry finds out about a secret order devoted to fighting demons. He finds clues with the help of a healer he meets and then employs and travels to France to start unraveling the mystery under the pressure of the ever-growing demon threat. It's an intriguing plot that draws you in. It's issues? A little of it does seem a little forced. There's the ever-convenient unspeakable special forces unit (one of the reasons for my lower rating), of course, though the negative impact is blunted by the fact that, while named after the research department, the unit is composed of aurors. A break-up is engineered with Ginny as a result of changing her character which is something which could have been better engineered without conveniently changing her character. A little bit of handwaving and "incompatible careers" would have sufficed.

Spoiler: Magic

Magic - The magic in this is one of the story's better attributes. The combat is clear and fast-paced and Harry's power is reasonable, an above-average auror who is not at the level of Dumbledore. The magic is silent and the author has created what I feel are interesting names for the magic within. The magical combat is reasonable as well. It avoids the pitfalls of "chants" and long incantations. Though the author employs similar magic, an example would be a 5 second "Jupiter's Grasp", the author employs it in a realistic manner. Harry is covered by another auror and Harry himself recognizes that without protection, taking such a long time to cast such a spell would have resulted in defeat. The magical creatures, primarily the demons, are interesting with varying levels of difficulty which work for the story. The author has created magical exercises that were interesting to read about such as a transfiguration exercise that Harry employs. Some drawbacks with the magical system are conjuration (which has a disappointing mechanism) and the creation of a gland that allows for magic to be employed by a wizard, something that both conflicts with canon and detracts from the wonder of magic with yet another attempt to "science" magic (though it is in the context of healing which explains the author's motivation)

Spoiler: Characterization/Character Interactions

Characterization/Character Interactions - Though I've discussed Ginny's character, I find the characterization to be reasonable, if not outstanding. The interactions with the Weasley were believable and ran a gamut from heart-wrenching to light-hearted depending on the interaction. Kingsley is written as a good man who is turning into a politician as outside pressures exert their force upon him. Proudfoot is written as a rather typical gruff military-type man who seeks to serve his country and do good. This is a bit of an issue as their is rather a lack of depth to his characters (though not to the point where it detracts from the story). Daphne is a healer who is fired for being too competent. She's a fine character but some of the interactions seem a little forced, if believable at the same time. The romance between Harry and Daphne is not a love at first sight type of affair.

In short, it's a good story that is enjoyable to read with a few things that hold it back, though they do not greatly detract from a reading experience. 3.5/5 stars, rounded down to 3.

Side note: This is my first time posting, please let me know if I messed up the formatting or broke a rule. I read through the rule's page and it seems like I did alright.

 

Read most of what's currently posted.

The plot doesn't seem too bad, it's actually somewhat interesting.

My only gripe is the characterisation of some of the characters, which can be quite annoying. For example, Harry is kinda confident sometimes and then suddenly so self-concious it's pathetic. His seeming 'I'm not good enough, everyone would be better off without me' attitude sounds something I'd attribute to an edgy post-Sirius' death Harry and not a grown man who has just been promoted to a very high rank in the Ministry.

The pairing also seemed a bit forced, rather than naturally happening. Was a dead giveaway when Harry started ogling her 'curves' and 'hourglass figure' as soon as he woke as though she was some sort of goddess he'd never seen before.

Other than that, I'd say the writing is solid.

3/5

 

So it starts out with an interesting idea.

Spoiler

Harry is an Auror trainee who is apparently being held back in his training, perhaps unfairly, for reasons that are not given upfront.

That works for me as a set up for a story, I can imagine a number of reasons for him to be held back and how they could lead to an interesting fic.

Spoiler

Giant otherworldly monsters are attacking areas of magical density and no one knows what they are?

Cool, not particularly cliched, and lots of potential.

Spoiler

Harry immediately gets promoted from trainee to full Auror, skipping a junior rank in the process, and appointed as an "Unspeakable Hawk" which seems to basically be James Bond? And gets told the reason he was being held back is because the Minister didn't want to deal with the political fall out of having the Boy Who Lived get killed whilst working for his administration? Its losing me at this point.

They had a nice set up for a varied set of struggles and conflicts for Harry, and they've thrown that out the window in 2 paragraphs.

Spoiler

And then suddenly Harry is having a crisis of confidence, hates his life, and just wants to be a teacher?

Eh what? Where was this before?

Spoiler

Then Dumbledore from beyond the grave, jerking the puppet strings?

What?

I'm part way through chapter 3 at this point and its just about lost me. The writing isn't terrible, but nots not amazing either. The characterisation is all over the place. And I'm not convinced the author knows what he wants his plot to be. That action scenes aren't particularly engrossingly written either.

Having finished chapter 3, I'm leaving it there. 1/5, I'm not finishing whats been written so far, let alone going to follow it for more content.

 

I dunno, I liked it. I think the premise is executed interestingly, albeit not with the poise of a great writer (which is to be expected in a fanfic, of course) and it threads certain needles well. I'd tentatively give it a 3/5 be happy because Daphne. The writing is good, it's not a total car-crash and the hook is that there's something happening in Wizarding Britain which doesn't normally happen. It's better than your bog-standard fare and given I was down to Noodlehammer fics before I picked this one it positively reads like Shakespeare. A definite guilty pleasure, this one.

The flaws are pretty much as Mordecai points out, with the most egregious one being the destruction of the conflict setup early on with respect to "Trainee Potter". Had the author had Harry go around it instead it would have worked much better. The attraction towards Daphne starting in their first encounter is also not something I appreciate. I can't really tell Harry's age in this (so he's probably around 20 or so) which is the age at which people do stupid things like this, but still. Could have been handled with more finesse.

Still, I'm sticking to my 3/5. I'd rather follow this fic and get disappointed later than miss it and feel disappointed now. (I'm procrastinating on getting disappointed. Fucking Covid-19.)

 

It's a decent story with an interesting plot -- or at least the beginning of a plot. I found the prose to be quite wooden and awkward. In most places, it seems to be technically correct, but it somehow feels off when I read it: characters speaking unnaturally, exposition occurring in weird places and with odd word choices, etc. One part in particular that stood out was:

Spoiler: Example

While his scar had faded and he had filled out since his Hogwarts days, he was still undeniably Harry Potter. Oh sure, his features had gotten sharper, and his hair had grown longer, but he definitely still was the "Boy-Who-Lived". Or at least he didn't feel any different from the boy floundering his way around Hogwarts. Half the time, he still felt as if he had no idea what he was doing, NEWTs be damned!

This entire paragraph is laboring the point so much that it's painful. The same information is presented several times, as if the reader didn't understand the point the first time around. Sentence structure is awkward ("oh sure, his features had gotten sharper .. he definitely still was"). The paragraph doesn't even add very much useful information -- it could be summarized with "Age had sharpened his features".

The text is filled with other less egregious examples of similar problems. Nevertheless, the hook was pretty good, and it's not unpleasant to read. I think Almost Recommended would be a good place for it, 3/5.