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WIP Harry Potter: The RPG by Britael - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Pasta Sentient, Apr 10, 2015.

  1. Pasta Sentient

    Pasta Sentient Disappeared

    Nov 28, 2010
    Title: Harry Potter: The RPG
    Author: Britael
    Genre: Humor/Parody
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: Humor
    Pairings: Harry/Numerous
    Summary: After his self-sacrifice Harry is faced with a choice, stay in limbo or play a RPG game about himself. Enough to say that stories about a character that actually chose to stay in limbo would not be a popular one... Video-game fic.
    Link: Fanfiction

    So, this fic is one I have found surprising hilarious and yet also quite dark. The writing is not always top notch and it definitely reads like a crack fic; but it's humorous and the plot keeps me reading.

    It's a "The Gamer" Harry idea, but with a surprising amount of humor. I dislike the way the author formats harry's character sheet, but quite interesting.

    The perverted harry is quite dark in it's implications.


    EDIT by Minion
    Well, yeah, I removed the first story...
    Minion shakes his head

    The story Pasta accidentally posted can be found here:
    WIP - The Adventures of Harry Potter, The Video Game: Exploited by Michaelsuave - M
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2015
  2. Poly

    Poly First Year

    Jan 12, 2015
    Started off ok-ish, devolved into insanity fast. Not the funny kind of insanity either, but the kill-me-now-this-is-so-stupid kind. Plot moves at a glacial pace, that alone is another big minus. 2/5 and I'm being generous.
  3. Radmar

    Radmar Disappeared

    Feb 3, 2014
    Czech Republic
    I just finished reading it. I've never encountered pervert!Harry before, and I must say, I love it. I am awaiting new updates for more interactions between Harry and Mrs. Greengrass.

    On the other hand, this pervert!Harry thing is at the same time rather unfortunate. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but I feel that I no longer read a Harry Potter story. I read it entirely because of MA rated reasons, that didn't come (yet?). Frankly, this story would be better off being posted on some other site that allows MA rating and written accordingly to that.

    Pervert!Harry aside, it was fun read. Sometimes. There is one problem with that, though. This is supposed to be Harry Potter story, so one would expect some magic to appear. It didn't! I think author choose wrong moment to start the story. If I decided to write it, I would start shortly before Harry got his Hogwarts letter, so that no stupid OCs would have to be added, and story would quickly move on to magical setting. I don't know why author decided to start the story one year before Harry got to Hogwarts, but when Harry will finally start studying his first magical classes, he will just spend his saved up points to every subject he comes across, and become expert on every branch of magic very quickly. Really, what's the point in Harry overcoming every obstackle with ease? That's what will happen when Harry will go to Hogwarts. As the story stands now, it could just as well be slightly adjusted and posted as original work, since it contains so little of Rowling's canon.

    I don't like this trend of calling every other story crack. There is nothing cracky about this story. I didn't notice any irrationalities. It's about Harry playing a very realistical game that has its flaws. This is crack story.

    I have no idea how to rate it, with it having so little in common with canon... I rate 2/5, but it can still go up, or down, depending on newer updates.

    Edit: I just noticed the story is labelled humor/parody. Since it's parody, it should subvert some tropes, or ideas into something funny. It only subverted games, so Harry Potter setting is unfortunate. That parody part is strange at best. About humor... I don't think I am right person to judge humor, but I didn't find it very funny. My rating of 2/5 stands.
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2015
  4. NuScorpii

    NuScorpii Professor

    Jan 18, 2015
    Couldn't get beyond the first chapter of either of them.

    Clicked the x on the first one the moment I read the words 'bound magic'.

    The second one was not a story at all. It's a description of events, a rather bland one at that.

    I'm going to avoid rating them since I couldn't get through even 10%.
  5. Download

    Download High Inquisitor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Aug 6, 2014
    Adelaide, Australia
    High Score:
    I suddenly want to see one based on Fallout.

    Imagine if Harry found a Pip-boy and then couldn't remove it from his arm?
  6. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Sep 22, 2006
    Bumped to gain attention. This thread is for the story Pasta intended to post :p
  7. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

    Sep 6, 2009
    As rough as the writing is, the fic manages to be strangely compelling. The idea of mental advantages and disadvantages in a Gamer!esque story leading to actual changes in personality was interestingly handled, at least. I wavered between a 2 and a 3 and gave it the 3/5. Unlike many gamer!fics, this one at least generally had me curious to see what was in the next chapter.
  8. Warburg

    Warburg Seventh Year

    Sep 23, 2014
    So I finally got around to reading it because I like the concept of a videogame! Harry. Should be relatively simple, right? Give the character the ability to improve but restrict/challenge him enough avoid making the "game" too easy. Apparently it's not that simple. The overarching problem these fics seems to have is that they start out relatively interesting but the main character quickly gets ridiculously overpowered because he somehow games the system or grinds excessively. I don't know if it's because the authors think it's funny(it's not) or what but the end result is the same. There's no tension in the fics because the main character will invariably somehow defeat opponents that are vastly superior to him... like 4 teenage dudes getting their asses handed to them by a scrawny ten year old. Just because you can explain something with your contrived game mechanics doesn't mean it isn't shitty storytelling.
    I also don't like(understatement) the harem that's developing and how it seems to be influenced by the stupid stereotypes in anime like yandere and other such weeaboo bullshit. If the author could be a little less creepy when describing the sexual escapades of two ten year olds, maybe by not doing it at all, that'd be great as well.
    Regardless of all the shit I've heaped upon this fic, it's still better than the other pile of trash posing as fan fiction that has simply devolved into pathetic attempts at getting people to laugh with immature humor and the occational "omg, so randum, hurhur" thrown in to the mix. Oh, and the grinding and exploitation, can't forget those. It's apparently an endless source of joy for the author to beat his own system.
    TL;DR: 2/5
  9. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

    Feb 8, 2007
    North Carolina
    High Score:
    Will admit I was pretty appalled when the 10 year old implied sexual situation took place. Story was okay, somewhat humorous at points, but I couldn't help feeling like Harry should have chose 'gritty realism' instead of 'arcade'. Not sure the fic would have been any better, but at least it would have avoided reputation levels and a lot of the idiotic grinding.

    Should have time-skipped to Hogwarts; would have helped the story progress a lot better.
  10. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer DLP Supporter

    Feb 22, 2008
    High Score:
    GURPS is a shitty system.

  11. Oment

    Oment The Betrayer DLP Supporter

    Apr 11, 2011
    2/5, based pretty much on the trainwreck factor and the increased excuses Harry makes for not getting rid of certain traits. A skip to Hogwarts after a few chapters would've been better, but probably not enough to bump it up to AR.
  12. Alexeyy

    Alexeyy Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Nov 14, 2006
    This Harry keeps making these advantages/disadvantages modifications that alter his character, in a believable way. As the result, he is not Harry Potter any more, just some unlikable character whom I'm not giving a damn about. Due to that I can't read past the Meet the Greengrasses episode.

    That aside, I agree with Radmar on the account that the story lacks magic. Magic didn't give an appearance until the 10th chapter. Also, due to the `game mechanics` Harry `forgot` all spells that he used to know.

    Also I agree with Warburg's overpowered argument. Nothing to add here.

    As to the pros. I pretty much liked character interaction here. The Little Whinging inhabitants appear to be living, breathing, 3D people. I enjoyed this character-driven aspect of the story. When Harry gains some game points and levels up, his character changes slightly. The author does it in such a way that Harry cannot perceive the change. That is so cool. For example at the very beginning Harry used to milk the Dursleys for game points flattering them with words and letting them badmouth their neighbours. When Harry spent some game points to level up his `will`, he felt embarrassed for himself and started disliking the Dursleys for their gossip. There are many other examples, but I won't give out any more spoilers. Moving on, Harry abuses the save/load game feature but only when absolutely necessary, he doesn't like reliving his experiences, even if they are negative. That is a big plus and thumbs-up for the author. Sorry for the huge block of text, don't know how to break it as all of it pertains to character aspect.

    Okay, overall, I think it's safe to conclude that by the latest chapters Harry becomes way too powerful, way too OOC. Will follow the story for a few more chapters to see where it goes, but I won't hold my breath. 4/5
  13. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

    Feb 8, 2007
    North Carolina
    High Score:
    I agree with a lot that Alexeyy said.

    There's some really cool things in this story that make it worth reading, and yet, some overwhelmingly poor decisions by the author that make it unreadable. Namely, the whacky mechanics of Harry being forced to flirt with every female using his luck and will + reloading the game if he screws it up. There are a few times that this actually works quite well (once, he gets dragged out of a room by angry woman and the game saves) but the desperate love ten year old girl Emma shows him (and the accompanying OMG scene there) makes it hard for me to enjoy.

    One thing I did like: Harry's father figure. The scene with the kids, sneaking into his house, etc. was handled quite well. Then, Mundungus came into the picture and it got pretty choppy.

    I feel like what's written is a 3/5. It's pretty good for a video game story, but some of the mechanics, and Harry's relentless desire to keep his 'lecherousness' going, is a definite screw up by the author. That, and he should have time-jumped like six chapters ago.
  14. Eilyfe

    Eilyfe Supreme Mugwump

    May 27, 2014
    Weird scenes with Emma and Hermione, but I have to agree that there are elements in the story that made me curious as to what would happen next.

    The deal Mr Greengrass offered though... seriously, if that isn't wish-fulfillment then I don't know what is...
    Still a 3/5 because it was funny at times and kept me reading despite the less than ideal parts. Also I wouldn't even consider the lecherous perk bad if it was only aimed at women, not children, and included old crones for the lulz. When he met Mrs Figg I was waiting for it to kick in to be honest.
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2015